hmm i wish i could believe you :/
feel so ugly :s

Been a 'stable' day? Even though I've felt low?? Having a panic attack atm :(

*cuddles Hels & Heather* Sorry, am not much good at the mo for anything else. :( Wish I could help you both more though... :(

I think I'm gonna go update my r/v... :-/

*cuddles Helen till she's feeling better*

Pillow fights? Why would you say such a thing? It's always so calm in here... *smacks Taz with a feather pillow* :P LOL

*waves at Felicia* I'm Crimson. Welcome. :)

Good night Mark, hope you sleep well.

Heather you are not ugly, whether or not you think or feel you are. You are beautiful and we will tell you that as many times as we need to. Resistance is futile :D (had to add that line in lol yes I am a bit of a geek) *huggles*

*deep breath* Ok I typed up my last essay. Just a review of the essays (decided to take you up on the offer April) and submitting them ,one ethics project to be typed up and a proctored exam. If I could take it in front of just anyone non family I'm be able to do that one easy but they want me to find someone non family with a degree to stare at me as I take a final exam. I can't think of anyone but one of the lawyers I work with but that'd be awkward to ask of them I think... We'll see if I can think of anyone. But either way I'm almost done with this crap. GO ME! (in theory celebrating your go me moments makes you feel better... thought i'd explain this now so you guys know why i keep saying that if it pops up every now and again...)
*hugs and plushies for all*
*runs off to get some work done*

Updated r/v... it's kinda long... :-S

I'll look soon.

I spy a Kahlia & April

*hugs/waves at all*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies - 4 pages of posts since I was last in here and I just can't keep things straight.

Really not feeling well. I emailed my psychiatrist last night, and also told him about my SI and su urges because my housemate asked me to. I think my housemate is getting concerned 'cause I'm spending quite a bit of time curled up in the foetal position on my bed, and am trying to do a lot of stuff (like organise my meds) in the dark. He keeps flipping on the lights, and I walk over and flip them off, then he walks in and flips them on . . . until he decides that he's just going to stand there. *shrug*

I guess we'll see what the doctor says.

*cuddles Hels & Kahlia* Sorry you're not doing so well, Kahlia... seems like - per usual, sadly - that a lot of us are struggling. :( Wish I could help somehow... I hope that your pdoc helps in some manner. *extra special cuddles*

*hides in the warren*

*cuddles april* read your r/v.
hope sunday goes ok.

So do I... :-S

Can't focus on WoW, can't focus on reading, can't focus on journaling...

:crying:

*cuddles everyone lots*

Sorry.

Hi all
*cuddles to you all* sorry no indiviual replies, been loads of pages and I'm very drowsy from the hayfever meds I'm dosed high up on, which really don't work, its been such a hard day hayfever wise.

wow its been a good day, my gf is now my bf, they have come out as ftm trans, like me, but not as far along the male spectrum as me, anyway won't get into it not the right place, but yeah very very proud of him and excited and happy for him, I remember the feeling 7 months ago, but its going to be a stressful time for both of us.

I feel like utter **** from hayfever, it really messes with me and feel low mentally wise, mainly trangst I guess

EDIT: I see new people, *waves hi to them* to you like hugs?I believe its Felicia, I'm Oliver, nice to meet you.

*hugs Heather* In that case I'll just keep repeating it in hopes that you'll finally see the truth in it :) You're beautiful and shouldn't change a thing <3

*sneaks up behind Crimson, drops a pillow on her head, and runs off to hide* I don't start the pillow fights, I just spectate :D GO YOU! FINISH THAT ESSAY! Hahaa. I'll be the cheerleader of Vets corner :)

*hugs April and gives her special teddy* I'll go read your r/v in a minute. I hope you're doing okay <3333

*hugs Hels and offers an ear for any venting*

*hugs Kahlia* Sounds like it's more frustrating for you than your roommate to be honest. I'm glad you told your psych about your urges. It's always better to let them know rather than hide it...

*hugs Oliver* Sounds super confusing to me, but as long as you're both happy, that's the most important part :D <3

Side note April: Crying IS a much better option than cutting. And you're right, everybody cries. It's a good release of emotion. There's nothing wrong with doing that. Strength be with you on Sunday <333

Thanks for everyone who welcomed me!

Rehearsal went good today, but I had many epic ED fails.

I ended up cutting. :/ I made it three weeks. I made that doctors app that I've been putting off too. I figure I either go of my own accord or I'll end up being forced to see someone once I end up in emergency. My appointment is for 3PM Friday.

Sorry for no responses to anyone. I gotta run out the door. *cuddles to everyone*

I cut again. And I just keep wanting to do it more and more.
Looks like I'll be hanging around RYL until right before I go to sleep again.
I'll be hanging around if anyone wants to PM or something.

thanks taz and crimson, appreciate it. hmm... it scares me seeing older peopel in group... what if i never get better :s. and... wish was as small as the other people there :/
on a different note, i just found out a girl that was in a bunch of my classes is recovering from an ed/used to cut o_O
so random haha

*huggles everyone*

just quickly jumping in to say hi.
went to a shopping centre today and did okay until my xanax wore off. my housemate bought me some gum to chew (and concentrate on) until we got home.
had another "incident" with my "body jerks" and spilt a lot of laundy detergent. feel really crappy about that. i'm such a waste of space.
still haven't heard back from the psychiatrist. guess he's trying to work out what to do ... i don't know. maybe there isn't anything to do. maybe this is "as good as it gets"
*shrugs*

sorry. *offers everyone hugs and waves at new people*

*hugs everyone then goes to sit in a corner*