of course i can see you hun. hugs you tightly we care hun.

lia are you okay? erm im feeling very triggered and pissed off tonight. just want to argh i dont know sorry

Lia, hon, I hope you're okay. :( And we DO care. *cuddles*

Jill, what's up, love? what do you want to do? *hugs gently*

Felicia, I hope that you feel better soon!!! Yuck for rounds of illness... :( *germ-avoidant hugs ;)*

*cuddles everyone else*

Sorry not been about today much... went to my parents' again. Anyone here ever heard of the author Jenni Schaefer? Just wondering... :)

*hides in the warren where no one can find her*

I'm fine.

What's the matter Jill? *Hugs* Please try to stay safe.

cuddles lia amd april. im sorru you guys dont need this sorry. damn that took so much effory,sorry cant s[ell tonight

It's alright Jill, you can always talk to us. You can beat the urges. I know you can. You've done it before and you can do it now. Don't make me refuse to let go again.

erm ho;ding me might be a good idra right now. sorry spe;;ing sucks. if okay please domt go unless yoi have too, dann it its taking alot of effort just to type this out. sorry

Ok. *Clings to Jill so she can't move.* You can do this. I know you can.

*Hugs April* Hope you're alright.

sorry being stuiped very stuiped. its okay forget i said that

Of course I will Jill. Are you off to bed now then? Just imagine me lurking in the corner, making sure you're safe. It's OK to be scared Jill. I am. So scared.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_HlWmDOPbM[/ame]

For you Jill.

thanks lia. yeah need to get up in five hours and face the day. scared of that, if i had my way i wouldnt wake up. sorry but i dont so i guess i have to.goodnight thanks for tonight it helped heaps. hugs you tightly. cuddles julie too

thanks lia, that made me smile and cry good tears. made me feel alot safer.

*Massive hugs* It's alright Jill. I'm glad I could help. Goodnight. I love you. xx

hugs lia tightly. love you too girly.

erm feeling really shitty this morning, up way to early for a sat, 6.30am. my face and head are killing me this morning. really dont want to face today, but i have to i guess. curls up and trys to shut out the world .sorry guys

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs April* Nope not heard of her ..... what does she write about?

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs al my other wardies*

im fed up of being alone, fed up of being here in this world, i dunno what to do... sometime im in a room feeled with people but yet it like im invisible to all of them and im alone.... i just want to belong i just want someone to think about me when they wake eup in the morning... to wonder if im ok today and if im still around... i dunno i just want to mean something to someone i guess.. i dunno what im talking about so im just gonna curl up in the corner and leave everyone alone....
Sorry hides away...
Hope everyone is okish and doing alrite...
hugs for everyone who wants them....

*Hugs LJ*

Cuddle all, erm really feel crap today, just want to curl up and hide. this sucks.

*Squishes Jill*

*Hugs Jill* Do you want to talk about it honey?

The devil is telling me that i must cut i feel like i need to cut

*Hugs RYUU* You can beat the devil. You have done so many times before.

*Hugs Ryuu* Lia is right , you don't have to listen to the devil .

*Hugs Lia* How are you today Lia?

*hugs LJ*
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Ryuu*
*hugs Mark and Lia* How are you two today?

In addition to listening to sappy romantic show tunes which make me sad, I also sound like this:*cough. coughcough. coughcoughcough. sputter... ugh... smack (as I try to lie down again and smack my head against the headboard)*
I also have 800+ pages to read this weekend. Have I started? No... not at all.

*Hugs Mark and Felcia*

Have fun with those 800 pages Felicia.

I'm fine thanks Mark. How are you today?

*Hugs Felicia* Good luck with your reading :) Your poor head!

*Hugs Lia* I'm feeling okay thanks Lia just a bit lacking in motivation.

Thanks, Mark. I need the luck on my reading... apparently my first assignment according to sparknotes is entirely allegorical alluding to the Catholic/Protestant split in 16th century England... which probably means without sparknotes, I'd get none of the allegory. Haha. I need straightforward stuff.

I hope you get your motivation soon! :)

So today I discovered my friends from highschool were only pretending to like me because my problems were amusing to them. I've one friend from the group we had left, and I know she'd never do anything like that but I'm beginning to worry that most people keep me around just to mock me when I confide in them about my worries. :(

*Hugs Sarah*It suck that your so called friend went behind your back like that but it's good to have that other friend isn't it?

*Hugs Felicia* Wow it sounds like straightforward is the way to go :) Whats is a sparknote? I never went to uni , is it a uni thing?

Cuddles all. Erm today being really crap, feel like I'm dying right now, hopefully when I get home and I drug myself up I will start to feel human again, right now everthings an effort. Curls up.

Sparknotes is a website and they also make books that explains all the symbolism, plot lines, characters, etc of all the complicated literature they make us read in uni. Haha, it was the ONLY way I understood Chaucer, cause they'll put Middle/Old English into Modern English. It's super cool.

Thanks for telling me Felicia :)

You mean you are due Meds Jill ? I am concerned for you.

Hugs mark don't worry. took meds this morning that are ment to stop me feeling the way I'm right now, but for some messedup reason it hasn't worked today. Being feeling very crapy all day

*hugs all*

*Hugs Jill* Have you any meds you can take to make you feel better? Maybe put on a nice Movie or play some music?

*Hugs Helen* How are you feeling this evening?

I can't do this. I just can't do this.

*Hugs Lindsay* Whats the matter?

damn it i cant drug myself up as i just being told that i taken all i can for one day.erm half tempted to just do it anyway. sorry being a whiney git. curls up. =[

Hmmm Please be safe Jill :S

sorry shouldnt have said that, it just how im feeling right now. sorry mark

Mark, I feel pretty excited & tired LOL.
Ugh eye test tomorrow, hate them, make me want to cry =/

I just feel so low and don't think I can cope with my emotions any more. I'm tired of life and of only living for my brother. I wish that he wasn't around so that I could die.

Helen, what is it that you hate about eye tests? Is there anything that would make it easier for you?

How are you, Mark?

I can't do this either. It's always one thing or another & now I just want to curl up and hide. Forever. I don't want to go to job training (which starts on our second anniversary, damn it all!!), I don't want to "enter the working world," I don't want to have to dress up for all those days... whinge whinge whinge, I'm pathetic, aren't I? I certainly think so. Ugh. I wish I could off myself and just be done, with all of it.

:crying:

Ohhh Helen I hope your eye apointment goes okay for you , just think , once it's done it's one less thing until your bestie :)

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you feel so low *Extra Hug* You CAN get through this , I really beleive you can :)

*Hugs April* You're not pathetic at all , it's not good timing being on you guys anniversary but I'm sure you'll knock them dead :)

I hope so, Mark. It's just gonna bite, being away from Jarrod for 5 days, possibly no internet access, having to share a room with someone I've never met before, etc., etc., etc. :( I'm not looking forward to it at all - plus, having my supervisors both stressing to me how difficult and emotionally taxing this training is!!! So yeah. I am really struggling.

Plus today I am just feeling low, have been reading articles that friends of mine on Facebook have been putting up about the LGBT suicides in the States (there have been 5 or 6 in the past month)... and hearing people in the comments section of the articles blaming it on Christianity. :( Whatever. I do NOT want to get into a religion debate on here... but... I don't know. I somehow feel like it's MY fault and like I've got to prove myself to people now, that I'm not the "Christian" that is so stereotypical now (the back-stabbing, hypocritical, hateful, judgmental, everyone's-wrong-except-me-and-my-friends, blah blah blah, etc., etc., etc. one). Plus just reading about the suicides triggers me in a quiet, detached sense. I don't even know how to explain it. :(

*hides in the warren where no one can find her* :'(

*Finds April all squirriled away and Squishes* April , You are in NO way responsible for anyone elses suicide , I don't mean to sound preachy but perhap you should not look at those facebook articles if you are in a easily triggered state . Please stay safe :)

curls up

*hugs Jill*

*hides & cries softly* :'(