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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 05:40 PM

Well it's been months since I knew she was leaving, and it still hurts like hell. She's the first person I ever loved. I hope she's not the last.

I know this doesn't sound like a lot to you, but it's a massive deal for me since I NEVER get to this point. But I trust you guys. I really do. I know you won't judge me on anything I have to say, I know you'll all listen and many of you will understand. I love you lot. *Group hugs*


Doikers 06-09-2010 05:50 PM

Lia , This is a place where I trust everyone too *Hugs ya*

SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 05:58 PM

Lia, I trust everyone here, feel like I can just be myself and everyone will accept me for who I am. Its nice. *hugs*

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 06:15 PM

*joins in the group hug*

SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 06:19 PM

Yay hugs :)

misskitty112 06-09-2010 06:20 PM

awww group hug!

CrazyHayley 06-09-2010 06:25 PM

*pounces in on the wardies having a group huggle!*

MammaMia 06-09-2010 06:27 PM

*group hug and then pounces on Hayley*

We don't judge each other, we just listen & support if we're able to :) I trust and love the ward :D

Thank you for all the congratulations etc :)

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 06:30 PM

Woo, I feel like I've started something. I know this is beyond cheesy, but I've found somewhere I actually belong. *Mass glomp of all wardies*

I'll also have you know that I am never this soppy and open about my feelings. I guess it's a good thing though :)

CrazyHayley 06-09-2010 06:32 PM

Want to stay all evening but my new living room isn't bunny proofed and there is no way I can have my laptop plugged in without Reggie chewing through the wires :( and I have to put his needs before mine. So this will just be a brief post to say thank-you for the welcome backs etc and its been nice to see some familiar faces pop up today and I look forward to getting to know the new ones (to me) better too.

Nearly had a meltdown at the front door today just because someone was trying to get me to switch electric companies - which due to only just moving and sorting everything out just seemed too overwhelming. I'd also already had a BT engineer round, the police knocking at my door looking for the previous tennant who is wanted on drug dealing charges and I was waiting for someone to come and fit a new electric meter. So this poor salesperson was just one thing to many, but I feel awful saying no, like I'm a bad person for not listening to them and letting them convince me, but I think when I looked like I was about to cry and was holding my head in my hands, he realised he'd not got me at the best time and went away. My goodness, all I can think when I try and look on the positive side is that at least I'm not PMDD'in otherwise I may have hurt the man!

hmm, I think dinner and a fag may be in order before I'm on bunny duty....

Doikers 06-09-2010 06:40 PM

Hmmm I'm sorry you had an overwhelming day Hayley , You go eat , smoke and bunny proof!! *Hugs*

RYUU 06-09-2010 06:49 PM

Yea am listening to music loudly ( in head phones )
i can keep myself busy by being online and watching a film
see how it goes

taz35 06-09-2010 08:04 PM

*joins in on group hug* If it's not too late?

no individuals at the moment since the ward skipped 4 pages since I left last night (you were all busy on here :P)

Am doing alright. Got a lot of cleaning and organizing in my room done since I actually had energy. Only took one Q med this morning so that I could get stuff done. SI'ed last night pretty badly thought, felt crap about being an ass to my dad. Not really worrying about it right now though :)

*huggles everyone*

misskitty112 06-09-2010 08:12 PM

*hugs Taz*

Doikers 06-09-2010 08:16 PM

*Hugs Taz* I'm sorry you S.I'd Look after the wounds please ?:S
Just curious , whats a Q med? I've racked my brain and I can't think what it might mean ...........

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 08:31 PM

I'm feeling so, so low. I don't know what to do.

MammaMia 06-09-2010 08:31 PM

I didn't get the job. Knew I'd stuffed it all up :(
Oh well just have to focus on college like everyone keeps telling me.

misskitty112 06-09-2010 08:34 PM

*hugs Lindsay* Please stay safe
*hugs Helen* I'm sorry about the job.

Doikers 06-09-2010 08:37 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Like Felicia said , stay safe please.

*Hugs Helen* I'm sorry to hear about the job too.

*Hugs Felicia*

Doikers 06-09-2010 08:42 PM

I want to go to bed .
1. Because I'm tired.
2.Because I can't harm whilst asleep and I'm getting urges:(

But it's a bit early , I'm really supposed to consistantly take my Lithium at the same time every night and that time is 10pm but if I stay up that long I'm worried I'll harm , just a little , to take off the edge :S does that even make sense? Sorry.

misskitty112 06-09-2010 08:49 PM

You make sense, Mark.
I don't know what time it is where you live, but is it going to hurt to take your Lithium early and go to bed?
Sorry... I'm kinda stupid with med issues.

MammaMia 06-09-2010 08:52 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Doikers 06-09-2010 08:52 PM

It's coming up to 9pm , I guess occaisionally taking my meds early won't hurt *toddles off to take meds and get the mornings dose ready*

Doikers 06-09-2010 08:56 PM

Right I'll say goodnight , catch you all tomorrow :)

*Hugs Wardies*

misskitty112 06-09-2010 08:58 PM

Goodnight, Mark!
I'll talk to you tomorrow!

shadowedsoul 06-09-2010 09:04 PM

Cuddles all. Cheers for your reply mark. Didn't end up going in the end. Wasn't sure what to do as, or say. Ended up walking around, needed to clear my head. Not sure how I got there, but I need up some were we me and her would meet up. It was really helpful. It felt like she was there right beside me.. Curls up in corner

taz35 06-09-2010 09:50 PM

*hugs Mark* Just short form for quetiapine / seroquel... or my "antipsychotics" (I hate calling them that... makes me feel like a freak =/ ) I hope you sleep well <3

*hugs Hels* Sorry to hear about the job :( Keep focusing on uni though :)

*hugs Lindsay* What have you done in the past to help through the lows?

*hugs Felicia*

*hugs Jill*

SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 10:17 PM

RAAAAAGHHHH! Just walked in after being out for 2 hours and got a massive lecture on how I don't care about my family because I went out, ignoring the fact my sister was out all night (3pm-10pm) and I was out for 2h... Apparently thats different because she's 14 and I'm 19. So angry >.<

Scarletdreamer 06-09-2010 10:43 PM

Sorry I've not been about all day, really... actually, I don't think I've posted yet today. Oops.

Hayley, welcome back, we've missed you!!! *cuddles*

Hels, sorry about the job but YEY about college!! :D *cuddles*

Mark, glad you can go back to taking Antabuse and sleep well too... *tucks you into your ward bed* Sorry we didn't get to talk today. <3

Sarah, sorry that you got yelled at, that's never fun. :( It doesn't make sense to me either. I hope that things get straightened out etc. somehow. :( *cuddles*

Lia, thanks, hon, for being so open/honest with us. You're right, we won't judge etc., and this IS a safe place to talk. <3 I'm so glad that you're finally starting to trust us. :) That makes me happy from the inside out, hehe. *cuddles*

*cuddles everyone else* Sorry not more individuals, been gone most of the day and since last night there have been like 5 pages for me to read... sooo... way too much for my poor brain to remember. Ahaha. >_<

It's Labor Day here in the US and so we had a cookout with one of Jarrod's friends, and I actually ate a LOT for me and we also watched a film ("Ocean's Twelve," anyone heard of it?). I actually didn't/don't feel full, which is VERY different for me... hopefully not in a bad way as usually I feel full so very easily. I hope my hungry/full sensors aren't being "messed with" as I know some meds do mess with them. If so... I am going to be pissed. :(

So tired. But I think I am getting to a point where I can handle more caffeine than I used to be able to tolerate... I used to come on here with a mugful of coffee (caffeinated) every morning, it was my way of relaxing before breakfast... and then I started Abilify and it made me more anxious (or so I think?) and now I'm off Abilify (shhh, don't tell anyone, was supposed to take it for four more weeks :-S but didn't want to buy the $150 prescription, even Jarrod doesn't know yet, much less my NP) and I'm sooo much less anxious, it's wonderful!!! :D


I am tired now though. Been a busy day... and my bestie's still supposed to come over for a bit, dunno when though. Blah. Sometime shortly I think.

*extra cuddles for everyone* I'll try to do more individuals later!!

SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 10:49 PM

*cuddles April* they scare me, just not financially able to move for another year (they botched my loan support and lied on it so I'm really down on money) though what scares me most is that my councillor is deeply disturbed by their behaviour, I didn't realise how bad they were until I saw a normal family, constant screaming, yelling and namecalling apparently isn't normal :(

Sometimes I think I'm complaining over nothing, but they'll start up yelling at me again and I begin to feel all hopeless and defeated all over again :(

taz35 06-09-2010 10:56 PM

*hugs Sarah* Sorry to hear you're being yelled at. It's never a good thing =/ I hope it works itself out soon <3

*hugs April* Not wanting to pay the 150$ is completely understandable... damn meds can be crazy expensive =/

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 11:05 PM

*Hugs April and everyone else* I know right? Massive shocker. I'm pleased I'm learning to trust too.

No individuals, I need sleeppp. Hope you're all feelingg better soon though. Goodnight all.


SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 11:12 PM

*hugs Taz* I hope so, its driving me crazy.

*hugs Lia* Nighty night *tucks into bed*

Edit: I'm also heading off now, had enough of my parents calling me defective. Night all *squishy hugs* xx

Scarletdreamer 07-09-2010 12:05 AM

The one downside to most of the people on RYL being in the UK is that they tend to go to bed before I do. Funny thing about being 5 hours behind, heh. :P Sleep well, Sarah & Lia, pleasant dreams. *cuddles both & tucks into individual ward beds*

Taz, yeah, especially with my hubby's current job problems. :-S I hope they get resolved soon & he gets backpay, but I really didn't want to pay that much for a month's worth of meds. Ugh. :( Thing is, I don't think Jarrod would be very happy knowing that... How are you doing though? *cuddles*

And everyone else who's been lurking about, how are you all?? <3

shadowedsoul 07-09-2010 12:07 AM

Huggles all. Erm nevermind. I'm okay. =)

Scarletdreamer 07-09-2010 12:40 AM

*huggles Jill* Hmm, somehow I don't believe that, hon. What's up??

Kahlia1981 07-09-2010 01:00 AM

Sometimes it's just too much ... now I have to go see a psychologist from Pain Clinic ... *sigh*

shadowedsoul 07-09-2010 01:20 AM

Erm just really stuiped thoughts running through my head. Feel really crapy short of breath. =(

taz35 07-09-2010 03:27 AM

*hugs Lia & Sarah* Hope you two sleep well!

*hugs April* Hmm... at least it would show he's really concerned and wants you to have all the benefits of the meds =/ And I agree haha, the ward moves fastest whenever I'm asleep :P It sucks trying to catch up.

*hugs Jill* What kind of stupid thoughts? If you feel like talking, that is. Sorry you feel short of breath :( Did you ever go see a doctor like we told you for the stroke-ish thing?

*hugs Kahlia* What's a Pain Clinic? Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but it confuses me why they would have a psychologist there :S Unless they think you're faking pain? I'll shut up now...

*throws welcome-back confetti for Hayley*

*hugs all other wardmates*

I'm doing alright. Watching season 1 of House (HUGH LAURIE ROCKS!!! :D) and keeping myself occupied. Have to go to a welcome-back nursing students meeting tomorrow for a few hours... not too pleased to go, because
A) lots of people there
B) lots of happy fake smiles and other junk I don't want to deal with. Thankfully it's only a few hours at most...

Detour. Derail 07-09-2010 04:06 AM

Im drunk. AGAIN.
Im crying. AGAIN.
Im lonely. AGAIN.
Someone stop me

misskitty112 07-09-2010 04:19 AM

*hugs Lex* I wish I could hug you in person.

Is it bedtime yet? I'm sleepy, and sick, and triggered. Asleep is the best place for me.

risenfromperdition 07-09-2010 04:21 AM

argh. why does every bloody holiday involve bbq's?! that is all. ><

risenfromperdition 07-09-2010 04:21 AM

*hugs alexx and goes off to message*

~Kaytee~ 07-09-2010 05:31 AM

i have my first cbt session on thursday. so scared. keep thinking im not sick enough, i cant have an ed. im fine. they will see that.

*cries in a corner*

Kahlia1981 07-09-2010 05:45 AM

Taz - It's a Pain Management Clinic. They have a psychologist and a psychotherapist. I don't know why. To help with the psychological effects of chronic pain I guess. *shrugs* The one I saw today was okay. She said there was no reason for me to see her again but gave me her card in case I "just needed someone to talk to".

Now I just want to lay down and die. So sick and tired of feeling well yeah.

FlyingNy 07-09-2010 08:13 AM

*Hugs Kahlia, Katie and Heather*

I'm so not used to this getting up early. I actually managed to sleep last night though, for once. I can't stop being scared though. I don't know what I'm scared of.

Doikers 07-09-2010 10:34 AM

It took an absolutely colossal effort to get out of bed again :( I just want to crawl back under my blanket .
My nurse mentioned that she might take me to check out a rehab to help deal with with my alcohol , because the Antabuse is like the only barrier to stop me drinking right now , and also to help me stop Self injuring which has become a daily occurance again ( I did not do it yesterday though )
and I am finding it SOOOO difficult to cope with all my Self injury , it's making me all the more depressed :S

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs the Ward*

Doikers 07-09-2010 12:35 PM

I have said I want to be S.I free by my birthday , I will be turning 30 on the 7th of November and shoulden't still need to do it , But it's dawned on me today ( Exactly 2 months untill my birthday ) how completely un-realistic that is . I'm also feeling extra low because it's only 2 months until the big 30 . by then I will have been harming for 16 years, 16!!!! *Sigh* Sorry.

Scarletdreamer 07-09-2010 12:36 PM

*spies Mark & glomps* :D

Just got up... gahhh. When Jarrod's not at work we tend to be lazy & he has an absolutely awful sleep pattern of not getting sleepy until like 1:30-2am and I go to bed around 8:30-9pm so he wakes me up when he comes in, and I like sleeping so I tend to sleep in until either I wake up or he wakes me up by getting up... so we didn't get up today until 7:15am. Yesterday we slept in until 8am. UGH. I HATE SLEEPING IN LIKE THIS!!!! >:( I much prefer getting up at 6am and being a little more tired than getting up later and feeling in a rush to get breakfast/take meds. :(

Anyway. Rant over, I promise. :-/

*cuddles everyone* I'll try & do individuals later... I know I always say that, but I do try at least. :-/

~Kaytee~ 07-09-2010 12:59 PM

*cuddles Kahlia*

*hugs Lia* hope your not feeling scared now x

*hugs Mark* you can do it. i dont know what else to say right now sorry... *cuddles* really crap for support atm ><

*hugs April* hope you have a good day, ha, rant away alll you like =)

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