*sends everybody hugs* sorry I know it's lame but I just wanted to send you all positive vibes and say I hope that things get better next week.

*comes in* sending lots of hugs to people... sorry i've been withdrawn lately, but i have been thinking of you all.. and hope things go better for you all.

*sends cuddles*

Can I get someone's opinion on this please ???

A friend who hasn't seen me for quite some time (probably since Easter last year) said to my mother today (when she saw me walking towards them) : "OMG! She is half the girl she was!!"

My mother told me ... and while outwardly I stayed calm and didn't say too much, inwardly I was saying "Not YET".

Is that a normal kind of response to that kind of comment ??
It's never really happened before ... except when I was right in the grips of my ED.

Anyway ...

*offers hugs to everyone who is able to accept them*

Silver - Hi. *waves*. I'm Kahlia. It's nice and safe in here ... I hope you are able to find what you need. We're all friendly so when you feel like being social, just jump right in.
Shell - Thanks for the cuddles. *cuddles you back*
Hannah - Thanks for the hugs. *hugs you back*
Kat - *offers hugs*. Hope things improve, or get to a point where you are able to talk about it.
Alex - *offers hugs*.
Helen - *cuddles you*
ShadowedSoul - *offers hugs*
Mary Anne - Thanks for the hugs. *hugs you back*

Dayna, Arwen, Jade, ... everyone else I've missed - *hugs*

*Hugs everyone*
Not much else I can say at the moment. Thinking of you all xxx

U missed me Kahlia :P

Hope everybody is well today :-)

*leaves some milk and cookies for ppl*

I miss being able to sleep normal :( Ah uni is open again today, but it's silly because I'll be in today, wednesday and thursday for lectures (and saturday for choir) and then it's closed all of next week for 'reading' week :p

Kahlia- I would say it's probably a normal response, but not necessarily a good one... I don't you you that well so it's hard to say... *hugs*

I'm having a bit of a rough time changing medication. I'm flying off the hook, being very angry constantly, and I'm pushing all my friends away. I've also ruined my 3 months, and a part of me doesn't care.

I want to wake up from this nightmare... my friends who I was going to live with me next year basically called me up on a withheld number to tell me I'm a psycho bitch from hell that they couldn't possibly live with. This leaves me in a total lurch for accomodation next year. I really don't want to live with strangers again. I constantly text people and get no response. Nobody wants me around, here or at home. I feel so alone...

*leaves hugs for all*

Jem - Oops, Sorry. I knew I would miss someone. I'm sure you aren't the only one.

Katie (Rockaroni) - Thanks ... I just needed to get some kind of impartial thoughts on that. *hugs*

I keep having baby dreams.. last night was horrid. I had one baby, fast forward a number of years, I had another baby and I lost her and she died =( Why do they keep coming back? I don't want those dreams, or any horrid dreams >_< Was so naughty, got some alcohol.. *cries*

Mrrpphhhh...

*Hugs all*

:::::::::::::::::: hugs everyone :::::::::::::::::

Im sorry everyone is going through a hard time at the moment. I just hope the rest of the week is better for all of you.

Wanted to send you my love

Jade xxx

*sends hugs to everyone*

Going to bed, then gotta go to the stupid day hospital tomorrow early morning. I don't want to go, I've only been to one session and didn't like it. It's a waste of time.
Gah.

Sidles in, gives Puppy Sinclair a huge hug, have a huge bout of city fever give me fields and sky, luckily I'm going home this weekend.

Welcome Silver, I hope you feel safe here, feel free to talk when your feeling like it *hugs* :)

*hugs Rockaroni* we want you around, sorry to hear your friends are being ****, I know it's easier said than done but I think you need some new ones that will treat you better

Thanks Kahlia *hugs back again* I think it's a pretty normal response, depending on the defintion of normal :)

*hugs Helen* offers some herbal tea that is specially concocted for helping to relax and sleep

*hugs Kat* Don't give up, you have to keep fighting, you don't know what maybe just around the corner.

*hugs Dayna* how's the whole house thing going?

*hugs Voice**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Arwen**hugs Jade**hugs Shadowedsoul**hugs Jem**hugs Alexx**hugs Snuffles**hugs Secrets**hugs Shell*

Wildly: Still no notice from bailiffs, housemate wants to move on Thursday though

...*Sigh*

I don't even know what the **** I want to say

*hugs Dayna*

*Clings to Kahlia and sobs*

*cuddles Dayna*

Well we have friends we can stay with. Awesome =)

*Cuddles Katie* I'm really glad to hear that

*hugs Katie* Glad to hear that you have somewhere to stay.

*cuddles Dayna*

I did something really, really stupid this afternoon. I broke a piece of glass out of a glass candle holder and was intending to seriously attack myself with it. I handed the shard over to my housemate ... and now I'm regretting it. Partly because he also took the rest of the candle holder away so that I wouldn't decide to "accidentally" break any more off it.

*sigh* I feel like sh!te now. I shouldn't have done any of it. I'm sorry.

hmm back again, curls into ball in corner puts a blanket over my head.i want to give up, cant keep doing this. just need to disapear for a while. everythings getting a bit much.

*hugs all*

*hugs Kahlia* you sound like you have aboslute gems for housemates. Don't you think if you're feeling guilty about having done any of it that's a good thing? I think it is :)

*hugs Shadowedsoul" anything in particular you wanna talk about?

*hugs Dayna and Katie* sounds hopeful good luck

Sets provisions for the day and leaves Puppy SinClair a bonio after taking him for a walk

Looked at a place.. a really nice place... heaps of people were there.. and they make applying hard >_< I know we have friends to stay with, but it's not permanent.. and I have uni to worry about as well. How can I study effectively in a house with 3 adults and 4 kids?? And the fact is even further north.. so further AWAY from uni... I don't think this is going to work out. I don't see how. No one wants to rent to two unemployed young people (19 and 25). I haven't heard from the landlord yet, sposed to get an email from her so I can apply for the rest of this loan from uni (am able to get half of it already but need something else to get the rest..) just typical.

Don't feel like eating.. wonder if there was any point trying to have 'my own life'... f***en over it... I don't care... anymore..

*hugs Katie* - I'm hearing you, especially in relation to your concerns with housing and uni. Fingers crossed that things work out. Hold on hon.

Hannah - You are right. My housemates are brilliant. Very understanding and patient ... extremely patient. And I think you are right, the guilt is a good thing. It just is kind of hard because I keep thinking that I'm going to upset or worry them and I don't want to.

*offers hugs to all and pats Puppy SinClair*

Thanks Kahlia. Hope your ok. I know I've been **** with support with everyone here lately, trust me, once I'm settled I should be bouncing back, raring to go =)

Got the email, phew. So that's sorted.

Didn't go to the day hospital.
Was meant to be going round a friend's house for a few beers and a film but she's cancelled.
All dressed up and nowhere to go.

*sends hugs around*

*hugs Katie* ~ Glad you got the email ... Fingers are still crossed for you.
*hugs Arwen* ~ That's a pain that your friend cancelled. I hope you have found something to do to take your mind off things.
*hugs Shell*
*hugs ShadowedSoul* ~ We're here if you want to talk about anything hun.
*leaves hugs for everyone else*

My mood has gone psycho. I'm now bouncing off the walls. It ain't gonna be pretty when I come down from this one . . .

By the way ... Nicole [mouse in darkness] says "hi ... and I miss you all. *hugs*"

sends gentle hugs around

I can't actually sit on the floor no more :'( I've hurt my coccyx (tailbone), don't think it's broke but it bloody hurts and is gonna hurt when I have to sit down in the cinema with my mum. But she's worth the pain and so is the film haha :P

Pffft!

Arwen- stay dressed up and come out tonight instead :) I still have beer that needs to be drunk.

Kahlia- sounds like me this last couple of weeks. So at least you're not the only one in the boat.. rowing out into a crazy sea storm... ahem.

Bouncy hugs for all :)

worry worry worry :(
I hate it

I feel soooo low tonite xxx :(

< crawls into ball in corner of the room >

*Crawls around and hugs everyone*

I'm feeling low tonight and I don't know why. Really want to hurt. Really want to stay happy. I can't go through another low again or I will end up hurting. :'(

*hugs all*

Silver ~ *offers special safe hugs*

I've come down ... and it isn't pretty. Just had what for me would be classed as a binge ... but it isn't a binge by ED standards (thank goodness). Just want to curl up and cry.

I know how it feel sweetheart. *hugs*
have you thought about going for a brisk walk or a jog?
Or doing some exercise at the gym or maybe even dancing in your room?
I know it sounds silly and you may not feel like it...
but not only will it make you feel good about yourself (its easy to feel low after a binge) but it also triggers the release of endorphines (happy hormones!!) which will help lift your moos a little?

Take care hun
Alexx
xoxo

just wanted to let you all know i am finally out of the hospital...feeling a little better, i think... not sure if i left too early or not. time will tell i guess. hugs for everyone.

Katiiiiiiiiiie, if I'd seen your messege I would have come over! I have a bit of spare cash now, so we should definately do something soon.
Plus I'll buy you a couple of beers on Sunday to pay you back for the ones you bought me on your birthday ;)

Hi everyone,

slipped away for a bit, just not got much enthusiasm for doing anything right now.

*hugs everyone*

why can't I look after myself, instead of knowing that I should go to bed now I'm still up.

*hugs Snuffles* any luck yet? I know how frustrating house hunting can be.

*hugs Kahlia* hope the low eases soon

*hugs Helen* how did you hurt your coccyx?

*hugs Rockaroni* hope you're doing okay.

*hugs Jade* sorry to hear your feeling low, *bug hugs*

*hugs Dayna* still wishing you lots of luck

*hugs Silver* hope you're feeling better

*hugs Caidan* hope you're feeling okay

*hugs MaryAnne**hugs Arwen**hugs Shell**hugs Kat**hugs Voice*

gives Puppy SinClair a huge hug, am seeing my own doggies this weekend, am so looking forward to it, am getting city-fever, want to get out, had enough of concrete and tarmac and people.

Hannah, I'll try and help: *speaking in a stern voice: Go to bed!!*

did that help? what kind of dogs do you have?

*hugs back*

just went from being fine to being very not fine in the space of a shower. I'm freaking out. I'm choking on words I want to write, I can't even write, and now my head's in no state to sleep arrgghh

Shell, Biff is a german shepherd cross colley and an absolutely useless guard dog because every time any body turns up at my parents house he runs up to them wagging his tail with a big stupid grin on his face saying hi. Bounce is a german shepherd dog, who has very little teeth left as they were in such bad condition when we got her that they had to be taken out, she's such a softy. They're both rescue dogs and they always want more attention :)

*cuddles kat gently*

*Hugs everyone*

Just wanted to say that the move is tomorrow, so chances are I won't be online. I dunno how long I'll be offline for, but with any luck, it won't be too long. I'll do my best to keep everyone updated, even if I have to go to the library and yoink their internet!

You all take cares n stuffs

<3

I'm evil.

I'm seeing a counsellor/psychologist out at uni tomorrow. First time with this particular person ... Really nervous. I absolutely hate meetings with new psych workers because I have to go into things that I really don't want to. But I somehow need to find a way out of the dark hole that I'm in ... and I guess this is my attempt to find it. I'm hoping that if she thinks I need more than she is able to offer, she'll advise me both of that fact and where I might be able to get help from ... fingers crossed. :S