*hugs everyone*

hi guys did you miss me

Still here, hope everyone is okay.
Feeling very sick at the thought of going to to see the cheater (in an hour).
Still not sure if I want to shout & scream (I chose a public place to feel safe and will stop me doing anything bad), cry, be silent or just stay in the house forever.
*hugs to all*

Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up.

Whats wrong Helen?

Where to begin wifey? :( Just a huge mess that I don't know how it out...

Hey all,
Back in one piece, managed to hold it together for about and hour and a half, ended up sobbing.
It's gonna be a long night.

*cuddles to all*

xx

Start from the beginning Helen.
There's always a way. XXXX

*hugs everyone*

I... can't.

*cuddles Hana*

Neither can I sweet.

*runs in screaming at the top of voice tears pourin down face*
everything is fallin apart i reil reil reil reil need some advice someone help me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*hides under a sleeping bag ans cries*

whats up just-another-girl? xx

*offers cuddles to all*

* walks over to just-another-gurl sits down beside the sleeping bag*

whats wrong hun?
want to talk?

*cuddles*

so ****ing pathetic, I am pathetic. I can't even SI properly. Just cut and it is pathetic, just scratches really, not even stitch worthy. I can't even do this right. Tomorrow I will....tomorrow I have it planned I will hurt myself as I ****ing deserve. I am so weak. Scratches....no! I need to see the inside and now I can't bloody do that. I don't deserve to be here. I cant even SI properly. I am weak. I need to OD to punish myself, not to die but so I learn that not SIing properly has consequences. DDDAAAMMNN! AAArrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!

*waves* I come in peace...to sleep in the hall or something.

*hugs everyone*

i really need 2 talk alot of horrible stuff happen n i hve no idea wht ive done or y im being blamed :'(
*cries harder*

*hugs you* I'm around if you wanna chat hun.

thnx hun i jst feel sooooooooooooooo awful :(:(:(

I... I can't live like this anymore. My.. well one of my best mates' houses, I have to go over a bridge to get to it. and I just... I can't do that. But I need her. I have to go over that same bridge to get to church, that bridge is key to getting anywhere that'll make me feel better, but... I don't trust myself on those things. I can't hear the word out loud... I can't... I'm scared. Of what I might do. Of who this post is going to hurt. Of... everything. I can't deal with life at the moment.
I just... I'm trying to help Tom, Will and Allie (thier mum) through a pretty damned tough time at the moment, and I can't do all of this. I can't.... I just... it hurts. all of it.

I... I dunno what's going on... I can't deal with this. James is violent. toms mum's coming round, i cant deal with this.

*hugs auburn and anyone else who needs one*

I'm home alone at the moment. Not good, but I need to prove to my dad that I can do it.
Emma, I know how you feel about thinking your SI isn't 'proper'. I haven't got tools that will cut me deep enough. I'm going to look through dad's tool box and see if there's anything there. x

*hugs zowie*

keep talking to us if it helps sweetie.

*hugs everyone else*

Tom's mum's helping Jess tidy my room... But... it's disgusting. I don't want her to find everything. I... people tidying my stuff scares me. I can't do it. I need to go into town, but... I really can't face the bridges. I keep dreaming about jumping off. I think... I think I need help. I'm going to see Barbara again on Thursday, but Ruth wants me to talk about my dad, and... I don't think I'm ready for that. At all... it sends me into panic, just thinking about telling her.

*cuddles everyone*

I just wish I could help people, but I can't and someone said right now I need to be selfish and put myself first. But I don't remember how to do that? All I know is how to help people...look after them....try make them believe it's gonna be ok. Cus deep down, thats me...it's part of who I am.

I'm actually crying at everything everyone's written in here...maybe Emma's right, maybe I need to quit this place for a while...but it's helped me and yet right now I cant even explain what's going down with me =\

*sends hugs to everyone*

i feel really low today it is horrible and scary. *cries*

*loiters at the door*

*gives a big cuddle to everyone who wants or needs one*

feeling a little fragile right now, having to live on my own is horrible and means I can cut without anyone stopping me which is scary, I'm worried I might get carried away.

please try to keep distracting yourself mary. your not alone, thinking about you. ((((mary anne))))

I can't do this.
I can't fix this.
What am I supossed to do?
Cus I can't survive.

*hugs everyone*

Cut,think it may need stitching, but don't feel guilty or anything. Just an overwhelming desire to make more. My arm/legs DESERVE THIS. I deserve this, Sarah was wrong. I deserve this pain, this damage. Started on a second cut, i HAVE to do this, sorry.

*hugs everyone who needs them*

:crying: :crying: :crying: arrrrgghhhhhhh!!!!!!!! :crying:

wats up emma??


*huge hugs*

I am a mess.

*hugs*

Once again I have absolutely no recollection of last night. *sigh*

*hugs Han*

I don't remember writing that post either.

walks in goes straight for the coner, i really want to cut, damn it i cant stop thinking about it, and noithing is distacting me from it. not good really not good

I was told to go to A&E but I know the psych liason finished at 5 so I'd have to wait for hours for an on call psych to come down and see me. And then all they'd do is tell me to take the clonazepam. So I've taken a double dose of clonazepam and will take my meds and go to sleep early.
I really can't handle this anymore, it feels like none of the professionals can help. No one can help.

*cuddles you both*

Here we go.
Another monday.
Fun.
Not.

Just letting my pressence be known.

aaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!
sorry all, just needed to scream...i feel like i cant do this anymore...i am so close to just giving up...

*curls up in a ball, rocking in the corner*

*hugs everyone*

I'm so damned fed up of feeling like this. I can't do it anymore.

Inpatient
 

Hi all,

I won't be back at my computer for some time as I am currently an in-patient. Hope that you are all doing well.

Kahlia

I found where my dad hides my mirtazapine. Want to take them all, then I'll just sleeeeeeeeeeep. Don't think they'll kill me, but there is more there than I've ever taken before.

*Waves at Ileana* Are you alright?

*squishes Khalia* Hope you are doing alright and that it's helping.

Caiden- Keep fighting, why are you close to giving up? Has anything happened to trigger this? *hugs*

How are you doing now 'Lost and alone'? *leaves cuddly toy kittens and hugs just in case*

Please don't take them Zowie, show everyone you can fight the voices and that Beth is not as strong as she thinks. Tell your dad where they are sweetie *hugs*, please take care.

Yes you can Hannah *hugs* xxxx

Hope your day is going better than you thought it might Hells. I just woke up lol and read your text, hopefully things are a bit better *hugs*

Has anyone seen Amanda (boundbythoughts) around recently??

She posted a few days back, otherwise no.

comes in waves to everyone then hides in the corner crying.

hugs and squishes to all...
i just cant deal with the voices anymore...they are getting to be too much for me lately... and i am just so tired of fighting. tired of trying. i am just so close to giving in, i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again... maybe if i did that the voices would finally shut up....

*cries quietly in the corner, alone as usual...*

goes over to caiden and gives you a hug. try to keep fighting, you can do this.

*pulls up a chair next to Caiden so your not alone* *passes you a tissue*

Whats up Louise? *hugs*

I am sat in a 24 hour library at uni. I came for two reasons, to try and do an essay and because I needed to get away from the blades and from my room. Somewhere new for a bit but I can't focus. Joking with friends on MSN and all I can think of is slicing my body up...:crying: :crying:

I was doing better and now it's like I'm looking into a downward spiral and I can't stop myself be drawn in. I don't even know if I want to, at least then I won't be living in fear of it returning...