Didn't cut last night. Just went to bed early and managed to sleep for a little bit.
Got college today and wont be taking the day off again. Haven't been to Sociology for aaaaaaages and really need to catch up. It's bloody boring, but life will become so much better when I go to uni. Seriously.
Ate two meals yesterday (I'm meant to be restricting to one) so I felt a bit crap. Especially because the evening meal was a proper cooked meal. But I really wanted to cook my little sister some food and sit down with her, so when she said 'why don't you make some for yourself' I thought 'yeah why not.' I'm so crap, I have no self control.
I'm getting a wii fit soon so I can get some exercise (can't go swimming anymore coz of cuts everywhere, can't go running coz I'm a smoker, can't go to the gym coz I'm really insecure). That should be good. Maybe I'll tone myself up for the summer :D

Right, better go get ready.
*Hugs all who wants them* Hope everyone's doing okay :)
Love you all xxx

*Crawls in and cuddles ppl and leaves some chocolate cake for every1*

*wonders in grabs a cover, sets up camp in a dark corner and curls up under the cover*

The friend who is living with me OD'd tonight. I know that the drugs won't kill him but now I feel like hanging myself or cutting. I've done something that lots of people will call stupid. I've thrown out all my medication. I don't know that I care about anything any more.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't share my crap with you all. I just hope you are doing better than me.

*Hugs Kahlia*

*hugs everyone* have escaped the flat back to my parents, they aren't pleased but i've promised to sit down and talk about it with them, not that i expect them to listen! *gives big puppy eyes to Helen and Kahlia* can i have some chocolate pweeeease

*gives cuddles for all*

Arrrgh! I went to sleep about 10/11pm last night and then dreamt about wonderful overdosing and then Emma was involved (sure it's because of april's od) and it just got really werid. Then, I woke up at 3.15am and don't think I went to sleep til 7.30am :o and then I was up properly at 9am after dreaming about some strange things to do with me, my parents, one of my sisters & this guy I fancy **** loads.

OMG :s My dreams just get weirder & werider...

Dreams are strange *cuddles Helen*

*cuddles*

In floods of tears at the moment.
Need to pull myself together as my dad will soon be here.
>.<

*cuddles and mops you up with a tissue*

My best isn't good enough.

I think I've wrecked it all.

I am a complete failyre to my two closest friends. I have let them down to maney times and have just found out one of them od yesterday. The hard thing is telling them that I know whats happened and that I still and always have cared about them. They are my family and its hard because they no longer speak to me I am out of ideas to help myself and to help them. What can I do?

*hugs everyone and gets some chocolate out of the secret stash for anyone who wants some*

I have to go in to the hall for a lighting design meeting tonight. That means: a half hour drive in, a half hour for the meeting, and a half hour drive home. Blech. I'm starting to wonder if I did the right thing by saying that I would do the lights.

I got some sleep today. Probably about an hour and a half. Last night was a bit of a write-off. But I guess it will all come out in the wash .... right ??

I'd better go. Today is just a really weird day.

*hugs everyone again*

*hugs all*

Urrrgh Thursday =\ But least in 6 hours it'll have been over for 25 minutes and half term will have STARTED!!!!

Bad sleep kinda, fell asleep about 11pm, woke up and went to sleep properly at 12am and woke up at ****ing 3.30am, stuipd dream waking me up. Sick of getting to sleep at a reasonable time to be woken up again 3/4 hours later and then feeling dead tired when I do wake properly....

Bored. Bored. Bored.

*hugs everyone and takes some chocolate* i need more sleep the crappy amount i got last night wont do

*Waves*
I'm back.
My 'net got cut off on monday night (while in the middle on RYL chat - rude!),
got it back today though, so all is well.
No, that's a lie.
But, atleast i have some sort of distraction.

SI'd last night quite badly.
I'm not taking my med tomorrow morning (i started it 2 weeks ago), i can't cope with the constant panic attacks that last for hours, and the horrid nightmares.
Haven't slept for the past 3 nights because of them. I thought i was being suffocated in my bed last night, nearly vomited on my floor because of a bad panic attack.
Nice.
I'd rather put up with 4-5 panic attacks a WEEK, than 4-5 panic attacks a DAY.

GP appt tomorrow.
First time in 3 weeks since i've left the house.
Absolutely bricking it.

I'll catch up soon with you all (will read back a few pages), in the meantime, i hope you're all well.
*Massive huggles to all of you*
Lots of love.
xxxx

What's the point? Nobody understands my geuine concern for her. Thank god it's half term now :) I'm off home soon at last.

Zowie, why so bored?

Becca *cuddles*

Wifey, glad you're back, have really missed you :(

Your concern for who hun?

Missed you too wifey. Did you get my text the other night?
xx