*Hugs Mark* Stay safe.

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sarah*

Well I got out of bed , GOD I feel like crying but it just won't come :S To top it all off now I have an headache , I'm going to take some pain killers and put re-runs of Friends on . Trying to force myself to feel better doesn't work .

*cuddles Mark* I wish I could do more for you. :(

*Cuddles Mark* I'm sorry. I love you, dear.

Well...My day just got shot to hell. My mom causes so much stress, my grandparents don't even want me around anymore. They told me I should quit uni and leave their house. *sigh*

I think I'm just gonna lay in bed and cry now.

Oh Felicia *cuddles* I hope they don't mean it. My family have said that to me more times than I care to remember :( I just wish I could rescue you all and run away somewhere safe where everything is happy and lovely :(

*Hugs Sarah* Thanks , just having people around helps

*Hugs Felicia* I love you too hun :) I'm sorry you are in such a difficult position:(

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Ian* How are you this evening?

*hugs Mark and Sarah* I love you guys. You're pretty much the family I wish I had.

I hope they don't mean it. But I know they do, my mom causes problems for them, and if I'd leave they wouldn't have to deal with it. Somedays, I wish I could just die and solve all their problems. Then no one would have to deal with me.

I really need to wrap Christmas gifts, but I can't... not now.

I love you guys, you mean the world to me. You're amazing and there have been times when the ward has kept me going. I just hope I've helped everyone as much as they helped me.

Mum was on about my weight gain today... I saw my nurse Tuesday and she wasn't concerned by it at all. Mum keeps saying its a health scare, but its just because I'm not as small as my sister. What she doesn't know is she's skipping meals to be that size, I don't skip meals. But I'm not the perfect daughter. I'm the crazy messed up fat one that doesn't deserve their attention. Yeah sure skinny jeans give me a bit of a muffin top with my hips, but I'd just gotten comfortable with my shape and she goes and does that... Ah sweet Relentless. Caffeine...

Im ok thanks Mark, im sorry your struggling :( *Hugs* im sorry that alot of you are struggling in here. Hope you all feel betterr soon. I noticed that the ok thing on the moods has gone weird lol.

*hugs Ian* glad you're okay :)

*Hugs Felicia* Please don't Die Hun , We would all miss you SO MUCH

*Hugs Sarah*It's good that you are comfortable with your shape:) don't let your Mum make you feel bad about it Hun.

I just had a bath to relax me, But Sitting on my bed right before hand I had a Suicidal URGE not a thought an URGE , the first one I've had since I was last Depressed , and it's scared me , later I will light inscence and candles and try and relax , eat first though , Does anyone know what I can do about my Urge ? sorry........

I don't know Mark, just stay distracted then sleep I think. Last time I had one my fiance made me go to hospital, as in called an ambulance and they forced me to go up there.

Don't die Felicia, we all love you here, I know I do, you're like a sister to me <3 All the ward is like my family <3

She keeps telling me its for my health, but its not. Its really not.

*hugs everyone*
We have about 5 inches of snow now. It looks lovley. But i'm still really triggerd :(

Hi Nicole *cuddles* I'm here for the next 2h if you need a distraction x

I agree with Sarah, Mark. Try to keep yourself distracted. I always put on super loud upbeat music and try to dance it away. of course, I completely understand if that's not your thing.

Sarah, don't let her get to you, I'm sure you're fine the size you are. And it's super great that you're comfortable with it, don't let her take that! And you're like a sister to me too <3

Trying to distract myself, watched my dance recital from '07. That's the last year I danced competively. I miss it. I want to go back, kind of. Too bad I can't.. .oh well...

*hugs sarah* thanks hun :) My family are all going out soon, so i think when they are gone I will have a nice relaxing bath and calm down :)

*Hugs Felicia* Music really helps , Dancing hmmmmmmm I don't really have the room and I have to be aware of bothering my neighbors ( There are 4 of us in this building but music is a great Idea :)

Does seem good, shame my poor legs fail. I need to give it a go really, I'd be more for ballroom though than anything else :)