wow it's been quiet here... usually there are a ton of posts overnight. :-/ hope everyone's okay...

laura *cuddles* i don't know if i should tell someone about my cutting down on my meds, just because as soon as they come in the mail i'll pop 'em back up to 1200mg/day. :-S but at the same time... well, i don't know. it's neurontin (gabapentin) which is used for nerve pain but in my case is used for anxiety... so i don't think it could be contributing to my feeling lower/cutting more. :-/ (i don't know if you had that in mind or not, it was just something that popped into my mind just now.) anyway... i don't know. i could "get in trouble" - i.e., make my np angry with me for not being more responsible about ordering meds on time. i'm always, always late with them and it's so frustrating to me especially!! :( anyway... yep, am still working on applying to res places. i've half the packet for mercy filled out, and then i need to start on the other two places. thing is, i need to sign release forms for the hospitals i went to, and that means having the time to go to them... so yeah. :-/ needless to say, no fun!!

oh, and i understand about the whole wanting-to-be-around-people / not-wanting-to-be-around-people thing... i have that same thing going on in my head most of the time. stupid social anxiety. :( *huggles*

*cuddles crimson* sorry i didn't reply to you much yesterday... hopefully people will move out of your house that "don't belong there" and you will have more peace & quiet... hehe. the cage you made for thor sounds awesome... :D i'm so glad that you (might have?) managed to get away from your head for a bit whilst working on making it a comfy home for him. :) that's so cool. i love doing stuff for/with my pets... as long as it's not 24/7 care like my parents' old dog needed. especially if it's positive things. :)

oh oh, and how long has it been since you've logged in to runetotem on wow? just wondering as i've left my pally there at level 22 but if you're on sometime and i am and my raf (refer-a-friend) priest is (jarrod would have to be willing to play on her), we could do something together, dunno what though. and how's leveling lurial going? how much time do you usually get to play? my mage on silvermoon (firesoul) is stuck at level 30 (haha) but my druid went up from level 36 to level 42 yesterday, thanks to jarrod powerleveling her and my raf priesty on that server. :D lol. so now i have a boomkin. :) anyway... sorry for the wow-talk... hope no non-wow-player minds...

*cuddles mark* how are you doing, love? managing okay alone at the flat? (don't mean to sound condescending, just a bit worried about you) thanks for the encouragement regarding my si, and crimson, you as well, i appreciate it a lot - i really do. :) i miss your emails... although i haven't yet checked this morning to see if you've emailed. i also miss chatting with you... *hugs*

i'm listening to "fragile" by delta goodrem - posted it a few pages back - good song. :) it really sums up how i feel right now... so thankful that i stumbled across it on youtube. i think i'mma have to order a delta goodrem cd sometime!!

slept okay last night although dreamt about wow. grrrr. hate it when i do that. have dreams, i mean. they always turn out badly in the end, and i hate that... thoughts of impending doom even seem to haunt me in my sleep. :( i hate that, hate it hate it hate it.

and i'm still triggered... but am kinda numb at the same time... ughhh... :crying:

*hides again*

April , I'm low , just low . Wanting to cut , needing to Oh and April my Hotmail is down for maintanence so if I don't reply to you it's not me not repleing , is your hotmail down too?

OH the posts come and my friend that I have been worriening about has written me back , he said he'll be in a local cafe on Saturday :) if I Want to meet up :)

awh mark... *cuddles gently* i'm sorry that you feel like you need to cut, but i understand, i do completely. :( and i wish i could make it stop, just make it stop for us & everyone here who struggles with the same. :( when i checked my hotmail earlier, it wasn't down for maintenance, but it might be now, i'm not sure. but that's okay, just reply when it comes back up. *more cuddles* are you gonna be okay today?? any plans to get you out of your flat?

am eating breakfast now although i really don't want to... :'( feel like such a huge fat cow... :'(

curls up in corner and hides away.

*waves* hey everyone, I've been feeling really low recently so I'm not very talkative. *hugs to peoples*

*Hugs Shadowed Soul*

*Hugs Jessica*

*Hugs April*

it was time consuming and kinda calming. if we get this house we're trying to get i'm gonna build them a wooden wall mounted cage :) well a few actually... can't have them all in one big cage without big fights so i'd need to make it one wall with 3 cages in it... (like the ones here but not with plexi-glass... http://octodondegus.weebly.com/ )
i last played on runetotem about 2 weeks ago. lurial is almost lvl 26 now but i haven't played her except for about an hour last week... might have to do that tonight. i can play anytime i'm not making dinner or cleaning up since it isn't the school year so no children needing to be taught but some days i just have no motivation to do anything. one of these days we'll have to be on wow at the same time... willing to run lurial through bfd sometime? and maybe d's toon if he's not busy in a raid on an alt? congrats on the lvling and getting ur boomkin. :)

yes thor is the male baby chinchilla. xochitl and sorley (the parents of thor and freya) will be in their cage together again, dagda has his cage, thor's i just fixed up (it fits on top of his parent's cage with extra room) and freya will either stay in the kit cage for a while or i'll fix up another of the cages (my mother in law's friend gave us 6 cages about a yr ago but they weren't in the best shape and had been used for unruly dogs... all of them needed fixed or dismantled and made into new cages. the kit cage and thors cage are the only ones i've fixed so far. the other cages don't even have a solid bottom under the wire to put the bedding in yet. but i plan to dismantle most of the ones left and make a new large cage out of the sides we have... eventually lol) i won't be putting freya into dagda's cage for a while yet. she isn't old enough for it. female chinchillas can get pregnant at 3 months old but their body is too small so they usually die if they do so she'll be her own cage buddy for at least another 5 months if not a yr. but i'm going to move her cage so she and dagda can see and smell one another but not reach each other so they can stop being aggressive to each other and get used to each other. once i have the rest of my living room back i'll have to take pictures to show everyone. :)

*huggles, cuddles and waves to everyone*

i spy an oliver!
how are you doing? is your gf home now?

*rocks*

*Hugs Nicole* Whats up ?

*cuddles nicole* what's wrong hun?

*hugs Nicole*

*hugs everyone* i dont know what to do, my mum kicked me out just over a week ago, and i was living with my cousin, and now my cousins kicked me out, my mum is letting me stay at home again, but i dont think i can, i cant stand the way i get treated and all the arguments. i dont want to live here!

is there anyone else you can stay with?

nope. and the thing is, my cousin wants me there, but she just cant have me cause my mum is refusing to give her any money for me and she cant afford it :(

could you get a job (even if part time) and help out with bills at your cousin's?

im trying, and applied fo income support, but with either one its gonna be at least 5 weeks till i get any money, and its unfair cause my mums still getting benefits for me.

couldn't you let the benefit people know you're living with your cousin and get benefits for yourself?

thats what we tried but it will be 5 weeks till i get any money, and the wont give us a crisis loan either. stupid government. but i dont know what to do, cause i cant live here!

hmmmm i'm afraid i may be useless to help any more than that... here in the us we have ways to speed up thing in certain instances and we have different programs than you guys do...