*sighs* My surgery has been postponed. The f***ing d*cks at the hospital rang my mother to tell her that it was being postponed. That means I'll probably have to wait another several months before I get the surgery done. I'm so damn over this. I just want to cry ... but I'm too depressed to cry. It took me four hours to put my washing in the machine today ... 4 freaking hours ... because I was too depressed and had absolutely no motivation. Am just so over this.

Sorry, I should stop complaining.

*offers everyone hugs*

*Hugs Helen* How you doing honey?

*Hugs Jade* This person you're worried about, don't worry that you're not doing enough. She's just lucky to have a friend like you.

Hello Gil *waves and hugs* Sorry to hear things are so shitty at the moment. Stay strong and keep posting in here as much as you need.

*Hugs Dayna* Ugh, I hate getting spacey. I get this weird thing where I space out and can't stop my eyes from rolling up. How are you feeling now?

*Offers Hannah a blanket* Hope you got to sleep darl.

*Hugs Hana* Try not to fret too much, I really hope this goes well for you.

*Squishes Kahlia* That sucks hun, and you have every right to post when you're feeling bad. You deserve to be able to vent and get help/comfort from us as much as everyone else.


The camera crew are coming over any minute. I've told my dad I don't want to be filmed. I just hate my appearance right now, I'm so fat. I actually purged this morning even though I hadn't eaten anything in the hope that my huge belly would get just a little bit smaller.

Auburn: x_x I'm sure they don't hate you really, what makes you think that? *Hugs*

Kahlia: Complain away, that's what this thread's here for <3

Arwen: Yeah, it's annoying, 'cause it gets really strong. So it's sometimes a real fight not to go void, lol :thumbup:. Doing okay though today, 'cause I has a friend with me who's, like, as insane as I am =D!!

*hugs you* yeah maths is great, its one of my self-made therapies. I did the National Maths Olympiad once. Came 260th in the UK *shameless boast* =] yeah I'm getting six hours a night of sleep these days, which is great. How did you sleep then? Do you have problems sleeping as such? Sleep can be really difficult when you need it most, sadly.

Ehhhh today I handed in a letter to my psych about the Truth. I don't know if she's read it by now but I am scared.

I want to follow the Tasks the Voices and Mindreaders have given me.

Steel: Does your psyche know what the Mindreaders are asking you to do? (I've seen some of your threads, so I think I know what you're on about)

Arwen, I'm not doing good at all. :(

My house-mate is home from the half-way house. I just hope that all is going to go well. *sigh* I wish I wasn't depressed. I need to get in touch with my TAFE instructor and get some help there but just don't feel up to anything right now. I see my GP on Friday and am going to have to ask about being put on Epilim or something like it .... gah. So damn over my mood.

I'm here if you wanna talk Helen xxx

Yeah she does. I wrote it in the Letter.

Ok I had a really good appointment with my psychologist today. I also gave my psychiatrist the Letter. So let's see what happens...if anything.

****. ****ing triggered. ****ing ****.

Landlord's going to be here in a few mins. Can't deal with him. Can't ****ing deal with life at the moment. Can't do this. Housemate told him I've got a guy living with me. He's not living with me, he's here until tom stops stalking me. that's all. why do people do this?

****************

It isn't fair!
It isn't fair!
Things are JUST starting to look up, and my world starts crumbling around me again!

Mom hates me.
School sucks.
Home sucks.
I can't find any inspiration to write my story.
My so called best friend isn't talking to me and I don't know why.
I'm single.
The only guy that seems to like me lives in Italy.
Any girls that like me won't show it.
I just don't want to do it anymore!

I'm sitting here in my room crying my eyes out...
and now I have to go up for dinner...

I don't want to do this anymore...

God DAMNIT!
I just wand to DIE!

I don't want to go to ballet!
I don't want to stay at home!
I don't want to go to school!
I don't have anyone who can possibly take me in at this state!
I don't have ANYWHERE to be!

I just want to die....
I don't want to wake up tomorrow...

I don't wanna dance...
I don't wanna sing...
I don't wanna act... or pretend...

Just... want it all to be over...

Oh good! I hope it all goes well for you then *hugs*

*hugs to everyone else* Sorry, don't really know what else to say :sweat:

And lol. On another site, I just started a place like RYL to offer support to sufferers and concerned friends/family alike - and got criticised for it by a so called 'friend' =B. I'm hovering somewhere between amused at the pettiness, and annoyed by it

*offers hugs to all* ~ Sorry it's all I have at the present time ...

*Hugs Kahlia back*

*hugs Dayna tightly*

*hides in corner and hits head on wall*

Stupid! Stupid!
Failure!