i think im hearing voices and stuff. its like i need to do things in the right order for me to not hear them. but what if they get enough of me and really start getting at me like they want to hurt me and stuff. im not saying i havent heard voices before like in my mind like real tlaking and stuff. but i dont want this to start again ill just end up beeing thrown across the country to different psychiatric institutions and all that. i just dont want there to be a silent moment where my mind is not following up what is going on around me and by that causing a meltdown somehow like it did last time where i had to go to the emergency and get stitches. im so alone and so friend less. i cant help myself. i dont talk to ppl often and when i do get to be with them there isnt much to say. and the psychiatrist at the ward near here said she wanted to talk to me but i havent heard from her in a long time. getting more disconnected with ppl. its like a dark veil surrounding my mind and is gonna attack me with voices and then they want me to turn mental on myself and start attacking myself. if only i had someone to dream with. *goes in the corner with a big cardboard box and sets it up so no one can see* *starts to whimper*
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