*cuudles Kahlia*

Hannah, Arwen, thanks, wish I could believe it :(

I'm sick, again.....
I can't breath.
I'm trying really hard.
I just took some Buckley's,
and while my throat is no longer throbbing,
I still can't breath, and I'm cold...

I hate this!
I cannot afford to be sick!

On a positive note,
I now have an official boyfriend.

I have decided that I am going to find at least one positive thing
to think about each day,
so that it will help keep hope in my heart.
I need hope.

*curls up into a tight ball*

*hugs everyone who needs it*

Im back in the land of uni today and really not enjoying it. However positive thing, I ate which is a major acheivment for me.

Sorry can't post individually, have exam tomorrow so major panic

*hugs Secrets* good luck, don't panic, yay for eating

*hugs Helen* we'll tell you again and again and again, we care, carry on fighting. What I've found a great help is that even if I don't believe in what other people tell me, is accepting that they believe it, I don't know if that makes any sense and another thing your friends will never in any way be better off without you, friends don't like you for a reason, they just like you and that doesn't go away.

*hugs Ashley* go girl, find a positive thing every day, it's a great thing to do, a hug, a smile, a laugh, a rainbow, a flower, a star. Sorry to hear you're feeling ill again, I hope it doesn't last long.

*hugs Arwen again* thanks, I'm not going to, sometimes things get warped in my brain and I end up thinking it's me that's in the wrong, but it's not this time and one day I may actually find somebody who wants me to be their number one, although I'm not sure anymore.

The cracks are beginning to show on my bosh job at mending them. 3 weeks free, I think, and the urges are beginning to rattle the cage bars again, they're not deafening yet but they're there constantly harrassing me :P

*Settles in for the night on a comfy chair with a blanket, here for hugs if anyone wants them*

Wine time!

I actually... really do hate myself.

Ah when is this **** going to end :(

things dont seem so scary today. i feel stronger in me. i look back on what i wrote, and feel the difference in my body.. stronger. Everyday is a different day... one step at a time!!

hi all... i think it's time i checked myself back in. I'm hoping there is a cozy corner for me to crawl up in and hide. sorry it's been so long.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

*sends special hugs and the offer of PM's to Hannah, ravynsoul, Arwen, Nicola, Kahlia* I am thinking of you guys xx

*sends hugs to most of the rest of VPW patients*

*hugs Emma* thank you. how are you doing?

Blah. Like a week or so ago, I sent a PM to a friend when I was really down. Had a good ole bitch about the **** that's been going on, the tosser who's been driving me insane lately. And the guy I PM'd said that I could always talk to him and this.

PM'd him again last night. Just needed another rant. Felt like I might OD on painkillers, booze and just whatever I could get my hands on. He read it, but didn't reply. Thanks a lot :/

*slowly walks into room, finds a corner ,sits down and stares at nothing*


Life got a little rough and I had to leave. sorry for not telling anyone but back now. ^.^

*hugs Emma back* thanks :) how are you?

*hugs Shell* hey hun, welcome back, don't forget if you ever need to talk I'm here for you

*hugs FallenAngel* Are you ok?

*hugs Todlich* sorry to hear that hun, are you feeling any better today?

*hugs Lucy* glad you're feeling a bit stronger, you're right, day by day, step by step :)

*hugs Kat, Arwen, Helen, Secrets, Ashley and Kahlia*

*hugs anyone else wanting one*

Am feeling slightly better today, I'm blaming pms :) bloomin mood swings, plus I had 81/2 hours sleep which is always good, makes me think clearer, better get on with it then, hadn't I :P

*leaves homemade apple cake but no custard cos it'll just get lumpy*

I woke up half an hour ago and all I can think about is curling up on the sofa and having a snooze :(

Just when you think someone has changed back to how they used to be (caring etc), they remind you of their not-so-caring side. Well thank you VERY much :D

*offers hugs to all*

I have an exam rehersal later, can't be bothered with it, don't want to leave my house. Arrrrrrgh, I think I'm going to drop out of uni. :S

*hugs everyone that needs it* And welcome back to those who have come back.

Today is not fun, Im really struggling yet its not the right time to tell anyone. I have exams and I know I need to eat before it but i physically can't. Ahh well.

* hugs wildly insane Back *

I'm OK Just very numb at this moment.

*Hugs Todlich* That's crappy, how are you doing today? Want to talk about it?

*hugs FallenAngel* sorry to hear you're feeling numb. Any particular reason?

*hugs Hannah* hate the mood swings too.. silly pms. hope your day is a good one.

*hugs Arwen* being super sleepy is not fun. How are you feeling now?

*hugs Helen* good luck with your exam rehearsal, keep going, you can do it.. just take things one thing at a time.

*hugs Secrets* thanks for the welcome. why is it not the right time to tell anyone? Maybe you can eat a little bit for to help you study? Snack on healthy foods?

*leaves hugs for everyone else*

I am in a much better place than I was last night, hopefully this will last and my mood won't tank again.