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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 02:32 AM

*takes teddy* thanks the cuts are ok, not very deep, although I havnt cleaned or washed them or anything

*hugs Kitty* I'm really sorry to hear that, it does really suck in the american system with health insurance, although I moan about the NHS and it seriously sucks sometimes at least it is there and free.
can you distract yourself from cutting.
please stay safe, I don't want you to die, no one in the ward does.

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 02:41 AM

I am trying to distract myself. However, I'm so upset, that the distraction I was using earlier (the "not right" link I posted on here earlier) is now triggering me worse with some of the images and sayings. Stupid things are making me more triggered. My doctor told me yesterday that he believes I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I did some research on it today and I agree. But he did not officially diagnose me with it, or offer any meds for it. I know there are meds out there specifically for it, and not just these anti-anxiety and anti-depressants I am on. But he didn't even offer putting me on anything else for it. And if I am pregnant, I won't be able to take the anti-depressants, anyway. I will have to stop them. I do hope I am pregnant. If I am, it will give me one more reason to live...and a pretty damn good one, at that. If I'm not, well, it will give me one more reason, but not a good one. If that makes sense.

-hugs oliver- You should clean the cuts and bandage them, my dear. At least to help prevent infection. But the same thing goes for you...I don't want you to die, and I know nobody else does, either. Please be safe...

-sighs- I feel like a hypocrite right now. Sorry..

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 02:54 AM

*hugs Kitty*
I got diagnosed with BPD last moth while in hsopital.
I don't think there are any specific meds for it, most commonly they prescribe people anti-depressants and sometimes anti psychotics aswell, but I cold be wrong, thats just what the dr said to me.

please stay safe Kitty, there will always be reasons for you to live.

its ok, I sound like a hypocrite as well.

I've never bothered cleaning my cuts, except when a friend made me. its more of the punishment not cleaning them and sometimes I don't see the point.

*squishes Kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 03:07 AM

I think I am more on the psychotic side of the BPD. I've never been in hospital but I have done some reading on google and found out that some people with BPD have hallucinations. I have Amara. I don't think Amara is a hallucination, but I know that I am the only one that can see or hear her. Most of the time I don't even feel like I am human. I feel so alienated from people when I go places, even to the local grocery store. The anti-depressants and the anti-anxiety pills are helping a little, but they aren't 100%. The doctor did up my dosage on both meds but I still feel like something is missing.

-spots and hugs solo- how you be?

Ugh the urges are getting worse..

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 03:18 AM

*hugs Kitty lots* please stay safe.

I may try sleeping soon, its gone 3am here. I have a crisis team appt at 12 and then have to get the train to town to g to thejob centre to get the to change my name on my national insurance number. I don't want to have to do it, cos it means talking to people I don't know, going out in public and people being arses and giving me odd look when tey realisewhy I've changed myname.
god I sound like such a wimp, I should be used to the odd looks, had a hell of a lot worse, but i still hurts, is that stupid of me?

ˈsäləˌterē 05-01-2011 03:19 AM

I'm hangin in Kitty. Struggling with letting a wound heal. REALLY frustrated with my husband, but trying!

*hugs ya back* Thanks!

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 03:23 AM

*hugs Solo* sorry to hear your husbd is frustrating you and please try to let the wound heal and look after it

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 03:30 AM

No oliver, it is not stupid of you. Unfortunately, people don't understand. And, people fear what they don't understand. There are a lot of people out there like that. -hugs- But everyone here in the ward loves you for who you are, including me. If nothing else, you have us. I hope it goes ok and that people aren't as bad for you tomorrow.

Solo, please look after your wound. Do you need medical attention for it? If so you should go to A&E or the ER if you can. If not, maybe ask one of the wound care advisers? -hugs again-

ˈsäləˌterē 05-01-2011 03:31 AM

Thanks Oliver!

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 03:39 AM

Thanks Kitty, I guess your right, I'm just so used to the looks, name calling, abuse etc when being out in public. Plus being home for the holiday still and in the town where I went to school, I'm always scared I'll see someone from school which would be majorly awkward as I was livng as female al the way through school.
I just assume everyone see's me as a freak and someone to laugh at, its hard to break that.

*hugs Kitty and Solo*

ˈsäləˌterē 05-01-2011 03:43 AM

Thanks Kitty! It's a wound that's almost healed. I always wanna open em back up when they're almost healed.

I'm sorry you're goin through such a frustrating time!

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 03:46 AM

I can't relate to that, oliver, but I understand how it could be hard. I'm sorry that I don't really know what else to say. But I do empathize.

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 03:55 AM

Meh, the smallest things have been setting me off lately. I don't know if it's the "possible" BPD or if it's me being pregnant...because I still don't know for sure if I am pregnant or not. I really need to find out if I am pregnant or not. -sighs- -hugs her knees-

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 03:55 AM

Thanks Kitty *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 04:05 AM

-hugs oliver- No problem. If you need to rant feel free to PM me. Goes for you too, Solo. Or you can talk here, either way.

I don't want to be alone right now. Is that pathetic?

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 04:08 AM

thanks Kitty, same to you and all the wardies.

thats not pathetic Kitty *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 04:12 AM

-hugs oliver- I'm kinda scared of myself. :(

frenchhorn 05-01-2011 04:13 AM

*hugs Kitty* please stay safe.
Try to distract yourself, some music, watch something, read.

ˈsäləˌterē 05-01-2011 04:18 AM

It's not pathetic at all kitty! I totally understand not wanting to be alone!

It's so sweet of you to offer support to me when you're going through such a tough time yourself! Thanks! *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 04:22 AM

-hugs oliver- I'm trying to distract myself. But Amara is not being nice. She's being louder than the show I'm trying to watch.

-hugs solo- That's just the type of person I am. I will always be that way. I'm just sorry I'm not able to be more help.

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