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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 25-05-2010 11:54 AM

*Sneaks back in and rocks back and forth* it wasn't you
it wasn't you it wasn't you. Damn it can't beleve how much
of a hold you have on me.hate the fact I panick when
people touch me. hate the nightmares waking up in a panic
because I think you are here. Then my body shakes
and I can't stop it. sorry guys shuting up.

jonikd 25-05-2010 12:26 PM

note to self - don't leave it 24hours to come back in here and expect to be able to keep up with everything!

Hugs April, hun you are a beautiful, selfless woman, you have so much going on for you, yet you are here supporting every single one of us here in the ward. I take my hat off to you, and hug you tight- so proud and thankful that we have you here. I pray that you are feeling better, and that you've managed to hook up with your friend, *hugs again*

Hugs Helen, I'm worried about you hun,nothing I can do or say, but just wanted you to know that.

Laura, sweetie, let us know what's happening for you, I for one like to know and I care *cuddles*

Kahlia, your 21 month celebration has been the highlight for me over the last couple of days. You give me strength, so I thank you. I really hope your Mother's comments haven't dampened what should be a very happy, special celebration for you *hugs tight*

Julie, sweetie, go to bed! *tucks in and hugs goodnight*

To everyone else who has posted since my last visit to the ward, be gentle with yourselves and try be as nice to yourself as you are to others here, we could all do with taking our own advice *leaves a pretty big box of assorted hugs,cuddles & squishes*

I am struggling but surviving, coming off one drug and moving to another was never going to be a picnic :D

Kia Kaha
[Maori language phrase for 'be strong']

one_step_closer 25-05-2010 12:28 PM

What's happening?

Scarletdreamer 25-05-2010 01:17 PM

What do you mean, Lindsay? *cuddles*

JK, good to hear from you again!! :D Thanks for the support and kind words - they mean more than I can say. You are such a sweet and lovely person... please try and take care of yourself the best you can, wish I could help more. *cuddles* Hope you sleep well... *tucks you up into your ward bed and gives you one last hug before you drift off into dreamland* :)

I'm working from home today... got 10 out of 35 surveys done, so am taking a brief break to check in on here. :)

I spy a Mark!! :) Did the lie-down help at all, love? or are you still triggered? :(

I'm really exhausted and my eyes are watering... gahh... and my bestie texted me last night after I was asleep asking me if I was awake still. I texted her back this morning because I turn my cell off when I go to bed, so I didn't get the text til I turned on my phone this morning. No response yet. :(

*hides in the warren* :'(

Doikers 25-05-2010 01:19 PM

Whats happening with what Lindsay?

Oops I OVERnapped , went to bed about 11.20am and didn't get up until my Dad rang my phone , which was in my pocket, at 12.40pm . Still , napping seems to have helped a bit ,I just hope I can sleep tonight :S

*Hugs JK* It can be really hard to switch meds I hope you don't get to bad withdrawel/switching side effects .

MammaMia 25-05-2010 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2315637)
*cuddles Hels* Three months is amazing!!!! :D *throws confetti and does the happy dance for you too* :) Hehe. I view any amount of time gone without self harm as a milestone, based especially on the frequency of the SH before stopping/trying to stop.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2315690)
Helen: *big hugs* Congrats on your 3 months!! *throws confetti*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2315694)
*throws confetti for helen and kahlia* Congrats you two!

Quote:

Originally Posted by taz35 (Post 2315715)
*throws even more confetti* As if I forgot to congratulate you both on your accomplishments :crazy: CONGRATSSSSS <3 :-D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2316001)
Helen :) Way to go on 3 months free ! *throws confettti too* * Hugs*

Thanks everyone for the congratulations <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by jonikd (Post 2316205)
Hugs Helen, I'm worried about you hun,nothing I can do or say, but just wanted you to know that.

*hugs back* Why you worried about me sweet?? Also, med changes are never easy, you'll get through it, I believe in you *extra squishes*

Emma, I'm sorry you've been struggling with flashbacks, I saw your thread though *cuddles tight*

Mark, thanks for letting us know about Hayley =) Hope the urges have passed.

April, hope you're feeling better.

Julie, yay for you eating :)

Taz *jumps on*

Laura, hope you're doing okay

Kahlia, don't let your mum get to you & congratulations :P

*hugs everyone else* Sorry.

Scarletdreamer 25-05-2010 02:08 PM

Hm I forgot that WoW is down today for maintenance until 2pm my time, grrr. Was going to go on it for a bit, taking a break from entering surveys. :( Boo hiss. Don't feel good AT ALL... :'(

How are you, Kat? *spies you and cuddles*

And Mark, I spy you too!! :D *cuddles*

Hels, sweetie, how are you doing today? *squishes*

one_step_closer 25-05-2010 02:14 PM

Sorry, I was asking shadowedsoul what was up.

katnovia 25-05-2010 02:14 PM

No energry, at all. Would love to do individuals, but so tired. will do this page, though, sorry it's not more.

*cuddles mark* napping is good, sometimes I find a nap helps me sleep better because i'm not overtired, but then it depends on what thoughts i have before bed. Well done on holding out over those urges. *squishes*

*cuddles hels* congrats, and well done on such a great individual reply post, i can't possiblely (spelling?) compete!

*hunts april down in the warren, gives her a huge cuddle* I'm sorry you're not having a good time hunny. wish I could help.

---------------
TRIGGER WARNING: SI/Sexual Abuse

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggers:SI/Sexualabuse/Sexual assualt etc.. oh and very long.

well, I spoke to nick the curate today, was expecting it to be quite frankly awful, however, he was really really really good. I'm so impressed. I told him about what's going on with rosie, amy, sarah, 'miel, and shadow, and he was really switched on and in touch even though he'd not really heard of D.I.D before. I actually felt comfortable telling him about frank abusing me as a child, and admitting the s harming. Though I didn't tell him I had moments before he came.... :S

He wants to talk to the girls, and help them, to minister to them. That could be interesting. Rosie probably would, but amy's not too keen on trusting men. Sarah, well I think she'd probably get angry at him just for being male, and I think, she might be a bit to hard to handle right now.

The other thing is i'm not ready for nick to know about everything that has happened. I don't even know if anyone else has been through it. I don't know how to type it, so saying it would be impossible, and I don't want to get into the situation where I clam up, mainly because, bless him, he has a bad stammer/stutter, so conversation can be a bit halted already, without me unable to say a particular word. I dont even know if anyone needs to know he did that ... but a part of me feels it would be better out than in, better faced, because right now it's just a horrible vile secret that eats away at my soul. Yuck, I feel sick now thinking about it.


*waves at lindsay* didn't mean to leave you out, sorry sweetie *extra special huggles*

MammaMia 25-05-2010 02:41 PM

April, not doing too great to be honest. But hey, when am I? *broken record much?*

Kat, thank you sweetheart.

katnovia 25-05-2010 02:49 PM

*cuddles hels* sorry you're not doing too great. Wish I could make you feel better *hands you pretty flowers picked from the ward garden*

katnovia 25-05-2010 03:16 PM

*cries* I dont wanna do this anymore

Scarletdreamer 25-05-2010 03:18 PM

*cuddles Kat and Hels* I wish I could help you both more than I can... I feel so helpless. :( *holds you both and rocks back and forth gently* Will be keeping you in my prayers though, can tell you that much. :) If that's okay, that is.

I can't keep up with life. I just want to give up, give in, quit. :'(

taz35 25-05-2010 03:39 PM

*hugs Mark* I hope you didn't cut, the urge will always pass, you just have to try and fight through it <3 (and yes, I'm being a hypocrite by telling you this...)

*hugs Julie*

*hugs April* What's driving you to think that?

*tackles Helen* You're not a broken record hun, get that out of your mind :) I wish I could help more :(

*hugs Lindsay* How're you doing?

*hugs JK, shadowedsoul, Emma, Kat*

*hugs anyone she may have missed and leaves piles of extra hugs on a table*

MammaMia 25-05-2010 04:09 PM

Thanks Kat, April & Taz. I feel like a broken record, I'm sick of feeling so bad. So ****ing sick of it. So ****ing sick of these thoughts aswell. Making me want to do them just so they'll SHUT THE **** UP!!!

PoisonedApple 25-05-2010 04:53 PM

Quote:

*throws confetti for helen and kahlia* Congrats you two!

*hugs everyone else* Again, im sorry, im not feeling up to doing individual replies, but i am reading and am keeping all of you in my thoughts.
This.

Scarletdreamer 25-05-2010 05:00 PM

Ughhh feel like ****. :'(

But I did call the new therapist and left a message. :-S Actually had to make 2 phone calls... I HATE PHONES!!!! It would be so much easier if everything were through typing. :'( No appt made yet as she wasn't answering her phone at the second office they have, but... at least I tried, right? :-S I'm scared... I don't want to do therapy again but my NP and Jarrod both think that it's wise. :(

*hides in a hole*

Scarletdreamer 25-05-2010 05:09 PM

updated r/v........................ :'(

bitch that i am. sorry, so sorry....

PoisonedApple 25-05-2010 05:41 PM

*cuddles april* not a bitch, hun.

shadowedsoul 25-05-2010 05:43 PM

Sorry one step closer,thought I saw an old ex freind of
mine, it kind of set of some really shitty flashbacks
horrible stuff. Realy wanted to selfharm, Hate that he gone yet I'm left with the ****. Graps some bed covers and hides in a corner.


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