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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 23-02-2010 03:12 PM

*cuddles Helen* Me neither. The ceiling guys didn't come, they aren't coming until tomorrow & probably wouldn't have told me had I not texted my landlord. **** them.

I am so ****ing ANGRY with myself. :crying:

MammaMia 23-02-2010 03:22 PM

Why are you angry with yourself sweetie? :(

*cuddles april lots*

[Awakening] 23-02-2010 03:30 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry, i keep trying to pop in every now and again but i'm struggling to concentrate on things.

*squishy cuddles for April* I'm sorry things are so tough April. I'm here if u ever want to chat. Send me a PM and i'll be there.
I hope ur alright darling x x x

Doikers 23-02-2010 03:33 PM

*Hugs to all*

I feel so drained today after the milepost of 1 month yesterday it feels like a total anti climax, like 1 month what now *sigh*

Scarletdreamer 23-02-2010 04:07 PM

*cuddles Helen* I'm angry with myself because I mini-binged and it's not going to be bulimia unless I do something about getting rid of the food. I don't want to have COE/BED... I am already fat!!! :crying: Anyway. How are you, love?

*cuddles Joc* How are you, sweetie? how's the hospital stuff going?

*cuddles Mark* Well, aim for 2 months. :D One step at a time. :) You can do it... although I totally understand the drained/anticlimactic feeling. It sucks.

I tried to take a nap as I'm utterly exhausted but it didn't work. Damn it. So now I'm awake and thinking about bingeing and suicide. :crying:

SoMuchMore 23-02-2010 05:02 PM

*cuddles april* try not to be so hard are yourself hun. I know thats easy to say and hard to do but you have to keep trying. I'm sorry things are so hard right now.

*hugs mark* i agree with what april said, and if u feel that another month is too lofty of a goal, then aim for one day... sometimes i have to take it by hours.. you can do it!

*hugs helen* sorry that you are having a rough day.

*hugs jocelyn* you dont need to be sorry :-) sorry that you are having troubles lately.

So tired.. again. Every week I am exhausted by tuesday. Anyway, too much going on in my head to even try to type it out.

Hope everyone is alright.

Scarletdreamer 23-02-2010 05:24 PM

Urgh, classes to go to in 40 minutes. At least I only have 2 today... but I still have to get stuff done for tomorrow's lab turn-in... and I am so confused by it!! :-/ I'm not going to get a stellar lab grade on this one, I can almost promise you. :(

Really, really, REALLY ****ing want to binge. More. I want MORE. I am so disgusting, so despicable, I am nasty and filthy. Punch me, kick me, I deserve it.


MammaMia 23-02-2010 05:48 PM

*cuddles everyone*

April, be kind to yourself sweetheart, you don't deserve to be hurt adn you're not fat or any of the other bad things you called yourself. =(

I've had enough.

Doikers 23-02-2010 06:51 PM

April , you are not disgusting or fat , you don't deserve to be hurt you are a great person *Hugs if ok*

MammaMia 23-02-2010 07:26 PM

Let me go?

CrazyHayley 23-02-2010 08:08 PM

oh my goodness I miss about 36hours of when everyone was really struggling...and I generally felt ok so I may have been able to offer words of wisdom, but now I feel crappy so all I can offer is a group huggle
*GROUP HUGGLE* I don't even have the energy to go round to you all individually :(
*strokes puppy sinclair* I'll take you for walkies later, but right now my legs hurt even in the virtual world.

Actually...I don't think i'd offer you words of wisdom, not cos you're not worth it, all of you are worth so so much more than that. But it appears to be to some people that my words of wisdom are me being a puppeteer and controlling other peoples lives...or trying to. Well that has never been my intention, I've just wanted to advise, people don't have to take my advice, but then I worry if I'm too forceful, if they feel they have no choice.... sorry I'll stop rambling, I should make a journal or something rather than wasting precious space here.
Oh and my slimming tablets that I got excited about, I swear they're just making me feel even more hungry! :(

borntobleed 23-02-2010 09:20 PM

takes blankie and crys in the corner for hours hoping no one will notice. bangs head against wall and curls up under my blankie and falls asleep

SilverFlame 23-02-2010 09:36 PM

*hugs borntobleed*
You okay hun?

I wish so much that I could just not be me. I wish I could kill the person I was last week and become somebody completely new.

borntobleed 23-02-2010 09:46 PM

cyrs vilontally. runs to a quiet roon and cuts repeatedly. (i am going to do that) then curls up and talks to the people in my head. need someone to help me

PoisonedApple 23-02-2010 10:24 PM

*hugs born*
do you want to talk about it hun? I'm around (sporadically as i'm at work but checking often)...

Scarletdreamer 23-02-2010 10:34 PM

Damn it but I'm triggered.


I wish I could be okay. Then everything would be okay.

But I can't. I can't even be okay for a few hours without wanting to die, binge, purge, cut, or starve.

I really need to get a grasp on reality.

quiet1 23-02-2010 11:14 PM

hugs to everyone.

seems like everyone is really struggling today. add me to the list.

first thing this morning...4:30 got phone call that school was delayed 90 minutes bc of the ice and snow. good. i hate it there anyways. i like sleep. sleep is just about the only thing i do like. i like my bed. i am comfy there and only there. so...i am thinking that it would be good to have a few extra minutes in the morning.

then....bam. urge. i cut myself this morning. that's not normal for me. usually i have a night time urge and usually i will wait until night. cut in the morning? whatever.

now all i can think about is breaking my wrist. why?
i don't get it. i have tried in the past but always failed. will try not to fail this time.

*head desk*

Scarletdreamer 24-02-2010 12:00 AM

*cuddles quiet1* I'm sorry you feel the way that you do... breaking your wrist wouldn't do any good, though, it would just hurt like hell and make doing stuff afterwards a pain in the bum. Waking up at 4:30 for a call like that would've been so annoying... yuck. But at least you got a little extra time in the morning. Is your cut bandaged up & taken care of properly? *more cuddles*

Really feel **** right now. Just want to b/p and get the urges GONE... although I know that that wouldn't really help. :(

quiet1 24-02-2010 03:48 AM

thanks for the cuddles.
the cut is covered. managed not to SH any more since this morning.
i had a very draining therapy session and i am exhausted. i want to go to bed.

i just wanted to reply and say that i didn't try to break my wrist yet. i told my sponsor about it and she is concerned that my behavior is escalating. it usually does this time of year.

*cuddles everyone*
hope you have a good day.

Scarletdreamer 24-02-2010 09:59 AM

*cuddles quiet1 more* Thanks for telling me/us... I was very concerned about you there. Do you know why your behavior escalates at this time of year? Also, was it a good therapy session? I ask because often the most draining ones can be the best - in a weird way - because they are the ones that make you think the most about your cognitions & behaviors and why you are acting the way you are.

How is everyone else? *cuddles for all*

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