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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

one_step_closer 13-05-2012 08:15 PM

Mark, I understand that. I often don't know how i'm feeling or how it compares with how I was previously feeling. Look after yourself.

Happiness, how are you feeling now? I hope you have managed to stay safe and distracted.

I don't think I want to continue with life. Even small, everyday things seem like too much for me and I absolutely dread every single day. This world is not for me.

happiness...its all a lie 13-05-2012 08:32 PM

hey
im really scared/triggered/tearful. Its just been a bad day having bad memories trying hard to achieve something thats never going to happen.

What small things are you struggling with? this world is for everyone and you should be here. Your supporting me even when your struggling which is a credit to you. Maybe just try and do little things each day and see it as an achievement once its done.

one_step_closer 13-05-2012 08:48 PM

*hugs happiness* sometimes with bad memories it can help to write about them, read over what you've written, and then destroy what you've written like you're getting rid of the memories. Allow yourself some space and time to focus on positive things.

I struggle from the moment I wake up because I dread the day ahead and find it hard to get out of bed. I don't do anything that is meaningful to me but I don't even know what would be meaningful because i've lost interest in everything.

happiness...its all a lie 13-05-2012 09:11 PM

Maybe you could find something meaningful to do-make a card for someones birthday? go for a walk? set a small target for each day and gradually build maybe?

Im going to try that i dont know whats brought it all on just one of those days i guess. Im a bit less triggered but still upset.

one_step_closer 13-05-2012 09:16 PM

That's understandable. Is there something you could do to lift your mood?

happiness...its all a lie 13-05-2012 09:18 PM

Nothing i can think of, ive just got into bed i think ill end up sleeping its the only thing that stops me crying etc and im on my own so if i stay up then thoughts etc take over.

one_step_closer 13-05-2012 10:00 PM

Sleep is good. I hope you manage to get some distance from your negative thoughts and feelings and feel better soon.

Doikers 14-05-2012 10:15 AM

*Hugs Happieness*

*Hugs Lindsay*

How are we all today?

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 01:49 PM

*hugs Mark*

I'm feeling like i'm dying.

Are you doing any better?

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 03:09 PM

*leaves hugs for all* hope everyones ok xx

YodaBearInterrupted 14-05-2012 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happiness...its all a lie (Post 3221755)
the feeling of being trapped is horrible, maybe write out things you would like to do or like to achieve and research ways of doing it? Hope your feeling better today.

Do you hate the fact hes right or the fact you feel you need to go back on APs? It is annoying i was so down about going back on anti depressants but now im on them and feel more normal again its better because i know in the long run it makes things better. Im sorry he was patronizing towards you for calling etc i suppose its his way of being encouraging/supportive. Do you want to talk about what you didnt tell him in here?

Happiness -- I do write alot... i keep a journal. I often forget to write in it, but I am on the 4th one. I don't exactly write about what I would like to do or achieve, its more a journal to rant in and write about I feel and the such. I do end up writing or translating Latin to English alot, which is odd I know, but sometimes it makes me feel better when I do that.

I think I hate both -- that he is right and that I know in my heart that I should be back on APs. I don't think he was patronizing, I think it was more I hate hearing those words and sentences cause I hate feeling or knowing that I need help. Its a heart vs mind battle sort of... in my heart I know that I should be back on AP meds, but in my mind I fight back and say that I don't and the voices compound that.

I didn't tell him i ended up back SHing again. I know it was not a good idea to do, but it was the only way to break the emotional stranglehold of pain and stress I was going through. I have done it twice since I have seen him last week -- much of it is because I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on at work and at home.

YodaBearInterrupted 14-05-2012 05:10 PM

*hugs Lindsay* -- I laugh each time I see your sig because I find it hilarious - and yes, I do READ ALL THE BOOKS! LOL

*hugs Mark* -- I hope you are feeling better today

*hugs happiness*

*leaves some goodies (brownies/cookies/candy) on the table*

Twisted_Illusions 14-05-2012 05:31 PM

I need somewhere to hide for a while....

Nomophobia - what tattoo are you getting done? I hope your appointment goes ok. You'll be fine.

YodaBearInterrupted 14-05-2012 05:46 PM

*hugs Twisted* (if okay)

How are you doing?

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 05:49 PM

Matt, I also read ALL the books (except boring ones :-p) How are you today?

Emily, how are you?

Twisted_Illusions 14-05-2012 05:49 PM

Hugs are always welcome :) thank you.

I'm not doing so well to be honest.

How're you?

YodaBearInterrupted 14-05-2012 06:00 PM

*hugs Lindsay and Twisted again*

I am doing okay I guess for right now... kinda like sitting on a neutral plane... but I would say I am liable to slip up depending on if something happens -- and that can even be a small tiny thing

Would you like to talk about it Twisted? If you feel comfortable with doing that.

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 06:05 PM

Emily, i'm here if you need to talk.

Matt, hold on to that ok feeling and see if you can do things to build on it.

I'm just trying to forget about everything and focus on my online life.

Twisted_Illusions 14-05-2012 06:18 PM

Matt - I know the feeling, like Lindsey said hold on to that feeling and build upon it. Here if you need to chat. And I should talk about it really, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. I've done somethings that make me hate myself this weekend and I can't take it back or make it go away and so I'm left with this all consuming guilt...

Lindsey - Thank you. =) and the same to you I know what you mean about just concentrating on your online life....you can pretend that real life doesn't exist.

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 07:32 PM

*hugs* how is everyone?

*sits down to watch tv* im very tired but quite happy today :)

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 07:39 PM

I'm glad you're feeling quite happy.

I'm just watching a TV programme about extreme weather.

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 07:51 PM

cool, im watching rspca animal rescue then eastenders lol. Is your programme good?

How are you today?

Twisted_Illusions 14-05-2012 07:57 PM

I'm watching how I met your mother....when I should be doing work, lol.

Someone please kick me into gear?!

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 08:06 PM

lol oops...erm do some work? hows that for motivation!! could you do work with the tv on in the background thats what i did ive applied for 2 jobs!

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 08:10 PM

Happiness, the programme was ok although I was focusing more on RYL. Later i'm going to watch Sun, Sea, and A&E; The Secret Millionaire; and Road Wars.

I'm not entirely sure how I am. RYL is being a good distraction at the moment.

Emily, GET ON WITH YOUR WORK! I told you in capital letters and that means you have to obey me.

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 08:16 PM

Im glad ryl is helping you at the moment. Sounds like you have a good evening of tv planned. What else do you like to watch?

Twisted_Illusions 14-05-2012 08:19 PM

Ok ok I'm going.... lol

Enjoy your evening/day or whatever time of day it is wherever you are.

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 08:25 PM

lol evening thankfully soon time for sleep!!! i love sleep

one_step_closer 14-05-2012 08:43 PM

I also love sleep but I hate the battle of trying to get out of bed in the morning.

I like to watch medical documentaries mostly. And dramas like Casualty and Holby City. What sort of things do you like?

happiness...its all a lie 14-05-2012 09:27 PM

cool, i like things on the crime channel, home and away and neighbours or animal programmes.

I hope it isnt too bad to get up tomorrow.

Doikers 15-05-2012 10:01 AM

Sorry for Lack of Individuals.

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Happieness*

*Hugs Twisted I*

happiness...its all a lie 15-05-2012 10:12 AM

Morning!

Hows u?

*hugs for everyone*

one_step_closer 15-05-2012 12:41 PM

Hey everyone. *hugs for all*

happiness...its all a lie 15-05-2012 01:34 PM

how are u today?

Laura2.0 15-05-2012 07:05 PM

*hugs all* sorry I haven't been around in the last few days... I just couldn't bother to turn on my laptop. Hope you are all well.

one_step_closer 15-05-2012 07:48 PM

Hi happiness and Laura, how are you both?

I'm ok, although I cut today. I'm still ok.

happiness...its all a lie 15-05-2012 08:17 PM

Im glad your ok *hugs* sorry to hear you cut- are you safe?

Im triggered today been a bad night/day but am planning ahead for tomorrow hoping it'll be better, got a doctors appt :( so im a bit scared

one_step_closer 15-05-2012 08:39 PM

Keep fighting, happiness. You can do this. Do you want to talk about what worries you about your doctors appointment?

I'm safe, yes.

happiness...its all a lie 15-05-2012 08:45 PM

its a new doctor and they are going to review my meds. I made the appt but i just get really nervous and frightened about going.

Im glad your safe x

one_step_closer 15-05-2012 08:48 PM

I can relate to that, is there anything you could do that might ease your anxiety or make the appointment more bearable for you?

happiness...its all a lie 15-05-2012 09:04 PM

I might write down what i want to say. Its just i get very embarrassed about my mental health problems and feel stupid. I spoke to the doctor on the phone earlier which is when he said to come in tomorrow so that kinda helped but i feel stupid tbh

Doikers 16-05-2012 09:52 AM

Happiness , I understand being embarrassed but their really is nothing to be embarrassed about *Hugs*

*Huggles Lindsay*

*Squishes Laura*

happiness...its all a lie 16-05-2012 10:21 AM

thanks, im surprisingly calm altho its still early!

hows u?

one_step_closer 16-05-2012 01:12 PM

Hi everyone. How are you all?

I have a dentist appointment in just over an hour which i'm really not looking forward to.

happiness...its all a lie 16-05-2012 01:26 PM

good luck at the dentist x

Doikers 16-05-2012 04:04 PM

Good Luck Lindsay! or I hope it went well ;)

Laura2.0 16-05-2012 04:32 PM

*hugs Lindsay* how was the dentist appointment?
*hugs happiness* how was the dr. appointment?
*hugs Mark* we just talked on fb, so yeah..

one_step_closer 16-05-2012 04:48 PM

I've to get two (small) fillings next Friday. Boo.

How are you Mark and Laura?

happiness...its all a lie 16-05-2012 05:11 PM

fillings are nasty, hope it goes ok for you.

Docs was ok they just doubled my dosage :/ i feel really low and crap today.

How is everyone?

one_step_closer 16-05-2012 05:26 PM

Well done for getting through your appointment. :thumbup:

Need to talk about anything?


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