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MammaMia 12-07-2010 04:12 PM

Mmm *hugs*

wolfos3d 12-07-2010 04:14 PM

Sorry, sleep deprivation is killing me.

MammaMia 12-07-2010 04:26 PM

It's okay ::)

I'mJustMe 12-07-2010 04:57 PM

Hi guys, I feel I should have been here for some people last night because I replied and then vanished without replying to their replies (still with me?) So sorry about that.

April- I don't know if that's a good thing or not about Jerrod. I know you were wary about him joining the air force, but I should imagine the army would be even worse. Still, he might still be able to join the AF though. Hopefully, if that's what you both want. Even if you do have to go 4 months without him, you can get through it. I know you need him, I feel the same only not about your husband, obviously. But I guess I can do this and so can you. You'll still love each other and still get to see each other whatever happens, so that'something at least. Plus, you'll get to have those cheesy running across air port greetings with plenty of crying and hugging, I've always wanted to have one of those :)

Hey Helen- How's things today? I hope you're OK and all. Do you feel invisible? Is that what you meant? If you did, you're not invisible to us, we see and hear you and you can always come here. :)

Jess- Sorry you seem to be stuggling with sleep and things. You can come on here at, like, 3am though. The really great thing about RYL is there's always someone online, whatever the time. Maybe there's something you can take to help you sleep, if you aren't already.

Kahlia- You don't talk about yourself too much, anyway, better than than not enough so you bottle it all up and feel like you're gonna explode then when you really need someone there's no one there because some tosser (i.e yourself) has pushed them all away. Not like some people I could mention. You are always welcome to post and rant on here and no one's going to stop you. How's the anxiety today? Are you going to get any extra treatment? Hope it goes better for you. *Hugs*

Mark- Hi. You any better? You say you don't know how you feel and although this kinda defys the point, I know the feeling and it's so frustrating not even knowing your own mind and scary too. It means there's nothing you can even do to improve your mood because you don't even know if you're in one! I often find just distracting myself cheers me up mind. I watch some crap on tv, or I write. I've actually taken to writing fanfiction and am really wishing I was back in school. You have to have some form of hobby, something you enjoy doing. If not, use this time you have nothing to do in the make yourself one. That will distract you.

I am going to have to go back to the previous page and check out other posts to reply to, so I'll be right back in another post!

*Hugs to all else who want them and tea and low carbs buisuits to others*


nicole94 12-07-2010 05:02 PM


I'mJustMe 12-07-2010 05:04 PM

Michelle- *Massive hugs if you want them* I'm sorry you're strugggling so much at the moment. You can always come on here and talk to us if you're feeling lonely. Is there anyone else you can talk to? I know how you feel about losing friends, I feel I am drifting away from half of mine because I keep people at arm's length and although I love all my friends to bits, I never really allow them to get as close as I would like. I had one who used to text me all the time if I wasn't on msn to bully me online, but she doesn't anymore and I know that's my fault. We're always here if you need someone though. Check your local area for vacancies and things. Even if you can't find anything big, there's bound to be a job in a shop going or something. If nothing else it will provide a distraction from day to day life. *Hugs again* You don't have to be alone in this. xx

*Hugs Jill too* Sorry you feel that way sweet. Please do try to resist the urges because you are worth it, you're worth stopping for and you deserve to be happy. Do something to distract yourself, keep your hands busy. Even jus typing can do that. Ramble on here, I do it all the time. I think I am now. I'm just a natural talker and once I start I don't shut up until I make myself because I think I am getting on people's nerves which might be right about now so I'll stop typing. Stay strong. :)

Oh hello Nicole. Sorry I didn't reply to that other thread! I pretty much collapsed in bed. I'll go now though if you still need the support. How are you?

Heather, Laura, how are you both today?

nicole94 12-07-2010 05:28 PM

hey. im pretty **** TBH, got flu and am really suicidal and triggerd and i feel like theres nothing left for me here, i lost the last thing i had saturday night when i was stupid enough to self harm whilst babysitting my cousins little boy :( yes please i could still really do with some advice.

MammaMia 12-07-2010 05:39 PM

Lia, hey sweetheart. Things are a little better than yesterday :) Still feeling low mind you, trying to do stuff that can't be avoided any longer, but it's hard >_> I do feel invisible sometimes. The invisibility is an old joke between me & April, as sometimes she (and others) would 'miss' my posts when making replies to all/most as I popped in so quick and didn't appear on the active list. I do feel bit invisible to some people. But I appreciate a lot of of us are struggling and my paranoia is bit higher than usual. I should hope I can always come here =P I'm the one who's stayed the longest now *giggles* Nah I kid, we all deserve to be heard here, but I really have stayed the longest =]

Nicole, I'm sorry you're ill and suicidal. Try look after yourself and be kind to you. Please?? *cuddles*

Doikers 12-07-2010 05:47 PM

*Hugs Jill*

nicole94 12-07-2010 05:49 PM

*hugs helen* i will sweetie, and you try and keep safe. tbh, i just wanna get away from here now, i only came back off holiday friday and i already need another one!

Doikers 12-07-2010 05:54 PM

ooooh I "Lost" a whole page .
Please take care Nicole *Hugs*
*Hugs Jessica*

nicole94 12-07-2010 06:02 PM

*hugs mark* i just wanna get away from it all. i wanna go back to butlins where i felt happy and safe :(

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:50 PM


Sorry no individual replies at the moment... I feel so selfish for not... but... oh, I don't know. Jarrod & I talked more about the Air Force last night & it seems more doable now that I know that (probably?) for advanced training I could live with him on the base. At least, that's what it seemed to indicate on their website... not positive though. Crimson, do you have any illumination on this? :-S Because I really don't want to be living on my own for weeks/months on end... I don't think I'd do too well. Anyway. :-/
When I was in AIT we had to live in the barracks with little more freedom than Basic Training... that being said that was 10 yrs ago and a different branch of the military and may have changed if it sounded different on the website. You could call a recruiter's office and double check. My husband's uncle was air force and I could ask him about it but since he was in technical training a long while ago it's got a good chance at having changed since then.


I Met April on here , but I know her all over the net , sadly due to geography not met in person .
Stupid geography... It'd be awesome if we could have a RYL VPW meet up and just all teleport to the same place lol

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:00 PM


April- I know what you're saying has a point, but my life isn't half as bad as loads of people on here and it makes me feel so pathetic. People have been through so much worse and I have no right to come here and ask for support when others need and deserve it so much more, savvy? Glad you're still sort of ok, even if not completly woo! I'm not as happy as I was before, but I've not gone into ultra depression either, so that's bang tidy.
Note before I comment* Having no idea what you've been through and blocking out a good deal of my youth I am not saying what I have been through is less or more horrific than you but I do have to comment on this...

1- You have just as much right as anyone else to come here. Who's to say that you have or haven't been through 'enough' to have that right?
2-you deserve support as much as anyone else. And who's to say you do or do not need or deserve help?
3-Some of us actually feel better getting out of our own minds to help other people that need support.

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:09 PM


hm.. i feel like i killed the conversation earlier in here. i'm sorry.

irrational i know... but feeling like its my fault anyway.
I know that feeling... I feel like that often. It's hard but you just have to remember real life can get in the way and some of us are literally on the other side of the world. *hugs*

*cuddles Oliver* I'm sorry you had a flashback and that it got worse than usual because you couldn't cut with your gf there to snap you out of it. Maybe you could talk to her about that helping to snap you out of it. See if she could handle that or would be willing to leave the room if it happens again... She stayed with you and tried to help even when it got bad though, she sounds like a keeper. ;)

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:15 PM


It's been pretty much decided, then, I suppose - we're going to go see the Air Force recruiter tomorrow - "we" so I can ask some questions and just basically learn about the Air Force and Jarrod so he can take a sample ASVAB and see where his abilities lie. I'm really nervous about this step - it's so freaking huge!! - but at the same time, excited. I don't know... basic training's gonna be tough because that'll mean 8 weeks apart - but at least it's not a year - and from what it SOUNDED like on their website, maybe I can live with him (on base) for advanced training? (Crimson, do you have any idea if that's true or not?... Sorry for keeping on bugging you about military stuff!!) I don't know. In any case, this is just to see... but it's our plan.
It's good that you are going to go too. And remember he has to sign/ swear in 2x before he's in. once when he gets all the basic stuff done then once before he leaves for basic. He IS NOT enlisted until that second time. I just want you to know because when I enlisted I did not know that and was told I couldn't post pone leaving till my grandfather died (he had 6 months according to his dr -we found out a week before I was set to leave- and he died after 1... ) so I was quite upset and irate...

*sorry guys for so many posts but I'm replying at the end of each page so I don't lose what I've copy/pasted...

MammaMia 12-07-2010 07:20 PM


Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2398252)
*hugs helen* i will sweetie, and you try and keep safe. tbh, i just wanna get away from here now, i only came back off holiday friday and i already need another one!

*hugs Nicole* I will try sweetheart. Think we all get that feeling of needing another holiday soon after we're back haha!!!

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:23 PM


Guh. Basic training and advanced would suck, though, because I'd probably not be able to be with/near him then. And that's a good what, 4 months at least? :-X
Odd thought April but since you were looking into res could you go res while he's doing training? Have your parents watch Daniel and have them added to you guys' bank acct to pay your bills while you aren't there?

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:36 PM

WooHoo! Caught up!

*huggles everyone*
nicole- i'm off to read your other thread (so I know what's going on).

SoMuchMore 12-07-2010 08:12 PM

Nice job on the replies crimson! *hugs* how r u doing?

*hugs everyone else* feel bad for not doing individual replies but i just cant right now. So sorry everyone.

Might go back to sleep.. dont have much point in staying awake right now. i wish someone would see me.. i mean really see me. feeling alone.

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