*huggles all*

been working on my assignment all day. managed to write 7 paragraphs in the end. still got quite a few - maybe another 4 or 5 to go.

head is still not in a good place. just trying to keep myself occupied so i don't think of suicide because i don't know how strong my 'will to live' is. :-(

hels: sorry i left you so suddenly on fb. my program cut me out because i was supposed to be studying and i didn't think to tell you it would be cutting in shortly. am really sorry. i was on a short study break when you saw me on there.

am trying to keep myself going. have a gp appointment on tuesday and am going to talk to him about the suicide stuff - but not in full detail.

just so damn over it ... still, it can't rain all the time, right??

*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Asanunu* Hi , I'm Mark . Welcome to the ward :)
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Shannon*
*Hugs Kahlia*

April Passes on *Hugs* and *Cuddles* :)

*Lurks*

*Hugs Lia* How are you hun?

Hi everyone.

*Hugs Lindey and Mark*

I'm alright. Trying to work...blah.

How are you both?

*Hugs Lindsay*

Lia , I'm urgy ......still and I so want to be over injuring myself , It's been for over half my life and I'm so sick of it :( sorry

morning.

*hugs everybody*

*Hugs Shannon*

*Hugs Helen*

How are you girls?

*Hugs Doikers* I'm ehh, how are you?

*Hugs Shannon* I've got urges , horrible urges coming and going . My Name is Mark :) You can call me that if you like :)

*hugs Mark* Is there anything I can do to help you through this?

Just asking helps, I know you care , all my wardies do and I care for each and every one of you .Urges are coming over me in waves , I bought Alcohol , Just to numb it , nothing too strong , no spirits , I'm still undecided as to whether I'll drink any of if ( IF I can stomach it ) But I just don't want to feel like this anymore :( Sorry

I just went out with my brother on our bikes. And I let him photograph me for his photography work. Only now I smell because we cycled through a load of mud that sprayed up on my and I still haven't done my theatre homework which I shall continue to protcrastinate on until the very last second.

I'm sorry you have urges Mark, and it's good that you managed to resist buying strong alcohol :) Keep on fighting it, and if you must cut, do it carefully. I want you to be safe, or as safe as you can get under the circumstances.

Thanks Lia , I will do my best . I lost about 200mg Of Lithium last night which can't be helping , I swiged the pills from out of my pill mug and heard one clatter away but I don't know where it went .

Did you have fun on your bike ride ? :)

Hehe Grease is on :)

Afternoon Ward. Been hallucinating a little this morning and noticed a few more "friends" missing off my facebook list, one being the owner of a local business that I worked for for 2 years, half of it voulentarily because they couldn't afford to pay me, but because I wasn't happy about my corset being 7 months late and £10 more than they said somehow I'm in the wrong. All I know is I wasn't really part of their little clique at any point, they just seemed to use me for free labour. When the old co-owner was there I was made to feel welcome, when they fired him I seemed to be no longer welcome and resigned after 2 months of hell. I'm pretty annoyed because I was making an effort after being made to feel very unwelcome, but no. ¬_¬ Grr.

How are you all today?

I like that movie :) I'm watching a Primeval DVD, and I did thanks Mark. I tend to neglect my family a bit, so I feel more social now.