*hugs everyone* just to let you know im going camping for the weekend so wont be on. hope your all ok. im feeling very nervous and triggerd right now but have a friend round. feeling majorly upset and just wanna curl up and cry :(

Cuddles all. Hmm that was a heartbreaking and sad ending to a really **** day. Hmm nearly end up in a car crash because some muppet doesn't know how to use wing mirrors. Feeling triggered after someone put a stuiped thought into my mind in rl. And now I can't get the image to stop. Stuiped thoughts are still there sence this morning. just feel very numb, when I should be happy. Argh I had enough, feel like saying Fu*k it all.

*hugs everyone*

I am so angry, I'm shaking. That is all.

Oh, and also, I didn't get a chance to make the video for you all, I shall do it in a bit and post it maybe tomorrow.

What a ****ing day dude.
Want to run away & maybe even die would be good...

*huggles everyone*

I'll apologise first for the lack of individual replies.

Helen: I just wanted to say that I'm glad your bestie is alive and doing okay - I know she's not brilliant, but at least she's alive and kicking. I seem to remember the last time this happened. If it was the same person and they keep playing this trick they really need a kick up the arse. It really plays with peoples emotions and heads (in general) when they think someone close to them is or might be dead. Sorry to bring that back to your head, just wanted to let you know I'm glad to hear it isn't true. *cuddles you*

It is freaking cold (for us) here at the moment. We had 7C here this morning. Anyone in the northern hemispere who is feeling hot/warm and want me to send them some of this cold/cool weather?

Kahlia, I agree with least she's alive comment. I wonder if the last time you're thinking of is when I was told Stef committed suicide and believed it for a whole week before they were caught out? However you could mean my bestie, because this happened twice before last year. First time wasn't THAT bad, second time was worse and really playing with my head/emotions. Same person as before >_< Really does play with your emotions/head.

I have a migraine coming on, really adds to all this ****. Spent another night confining in Jane again. Haha, going to put her right off me. She wants me to make an appointment & for her to come. I promised myself I wouldn't put myself through all that again for my mental health. Looks like I may have no choice. Good luck to her (if she can come) :P Well I think it's more to do with counselling, but going to see what she says to me later. Plus I feel bit awful about it because she & my dad had a long talk about what I'd texted last night (meaning Weds night) and he was really sad about it :( But they keep telling me they're here for me.....I'm not used to opening up to them. Obviously I am with my besties, one in particular. But I mean like...family people. She may not be related to me, but she is sorta part of my family (well mine and my dad's)....

Sorry I've been so self centered today
Hels, I'm very glad your friend is alive. I bet that really does play with your emotions a lot. And I'm super super sorry about the migraine. I get frequent ones, and quite frankly, they suck ass *hugs* I hope you feel better soon...

Laura, I love your new haircut. You're so gorgeous, I'm jealous. *hugs*

Soo.. to take my mind off of all my ****, I made you all's video. Tah dah! Posting the linkage:
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXm51yxTy9I[/ame]

I'm sorry about my disheveled appearance, frequent use of ummm, no makeup, and mess in the background. I was sitting on my bed lol. Anywho, hope you at least dont hate it.

Helen: I remember the Stef episode, but also remember one of the of the ones with your bestie - which is pretty good for me. My freakish memory is starting to work properly again. But seriously I think that the people doing that kind of thing are sick and need help. It really hurts a lot of people, puts them through a wringer - an entire emotional and psychological roller-coaster. I have to say that I wish I could open up to my family that way you have to Jane and your father. I always find it way too hard to talk to my family about what is happening. Probably because I've had such bad responses in the past. They've also started some stuff, but not bothered to see it through to the end when it would have benefited me to see it through to the end. *cuddles*

Felecia: I'll have to wait until a bit later to take a look at the video but I hope that you are doing okay. I bet the video is brilliant! *huggles*

It's been weird here. I'm struggling and I can't stop myself from acting when my housemate is around. Occassionally sentences slip past but I'm tending to cover them with a "just joking". *sigh*

Im in a big big mess

What's up Alex? Anything I/we can help with? My PM inbox is available if you can't use the forum or feel it would be more suitable.

I was talking to my ex....he started the convo. Its been a year....I thought Id moved on...but I still love him....except he is engaged now and possibly expecting a baby....but he said he misses me...and now im confused

Alex: I can understand where you are coming from, I really can. All relationships leave what I call "echos" - feelings and emotions, whether they be that you still love the person, or have feelings for the person but the time, situation or whatever else isn't right. It can be quite hard to deal with. I guess that all I can offer at the moment is *hugs* if you are able to accept them and my warmest wishes that the pain eases for you.

thanks kahlia. I wish it didnt hurt so bad. I was just really really happy with him...i was stupid to believe all the promises he made
*curls up in a huge pile of beanbags and cushions to cry quietly*

I am a bad bad person.
I need to disappear now.
It'd all be better.

*hugs lex* you are not a bad person. Don't disappear hun.

felicia- thanks! i liked your video.

Oops I over slept , Gonna watch your video Felicia and head out to have my Lithium Bloods taken straight away , Sorry I'm in such a hurry *Hugs Ward mates*

EDIT:-OOh I liked your video Felicia , I LOVE your accent and you're very pretty :)

*huggles all*

Sorry in advance for the selfishness of this post.

Our neighbour found out something that had been done to her son today that has triggered off all the memories of my childhood SA. In some ways too it's left me wondering if my parents would/would have react/ed the same way if I/had told them about it. I never have, and I don't think I want to but I do think it might help them to understand some things. *sigh* Sorry, I know, a whiney little 28 year old . . .

*disappears*

Not whiny or anything Kahlia *cuddles you tight*

*cuddles everybody*

*Hugs Nicole* Enjoy camping! :)

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Hiding*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry that's triggered off bad memorys for you . You don't come over as whiney .