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-   -   Beyond repair. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

Auror. 08-01-2020 03:22 PM

You were really brave to phone. I'm sure it's hard to hear your CPN is off, but them being off isn't necessarily the same thing as a rejection. They are just not working right now. It sucks that treatment providers have to take time off and cannot always respond, but that has nothing to do with you. That means they aren't helping anyone else while off either.

Is there a way to leave a message for them to see when they return? If you don't think you will be okay until then, can you phone back and ask if there is anyone covering for them or what other support options there are?

chinahorse 09-01-2020 02:35 PM

I went out and it was horrible. And then I got home and theres a huge form to fill out about my ability to work from the DWP. And I'm really tired because I spent like 3 hours on the phone late last night talking to and trying to calm down my bipolar auntie who everyone else wont talk to. And then another hour talking to my normal auntie because bipolar auntie is making threats that concern and are about normal auntie. And normal auntie asked me how I was and I ended up crying myself into a state. Then I had to wait for the hot water tank to warm up so I could have a bath because I hadn't done it in a long time. But I had a bath and my body doesnt smell anymore. So then I could go out today but it was horrible and I had to spend one pound on sellotape because the roll I brought with me ran out so I couldn't get chippy chips just Pepsi and chocolate and the chippy chips were what I made myself go out for and then I couldn't get them and I'm really cold.

one_step_closer 09-01-2020 02:40 PM

:( That's lots to manage and feel bad about. Can anyone help you to fill in the form? There is a place called money matters in my area that specialises in stuff like filling in benefits forms. Does it need to be sent back soon or can you have a break from looking at it? Did it help to talk to your auntie about how you're feeling? Having to buy sellotape rather than chips is pretty rubbish, I hope you can at least get your chips another day. Well done for going out.

chinahorse 09-01-2020 02:49 PM

No one to help me fill in the form. Just do my best myself like always because no one ever really helps with stuff like this and I'm always left to sort it out myself.

It didnt really help to talk no. Because she wanted mainly to talk about my mother and me and our relationship which is not what I'm worried about right now.

Might be able to afford chips if they refund me properly for the clock I got off amazon that arrived smashed to pieces that I had to pay to send back today and why I had to buy the sellotape. But I should put it on the credit card really, well take it off. Because the interest is high and every bit I pay off is better than nothing.

I'm really sad that I've ruined my whole life and it feels like I cant breath properly.

nonperson 09-01-2020 02:59 PM

Would your support worker be able to help with the form?

chinahorse 09-01-2020 03:00 PM

Not that I know of. And its be no more help than doing it myself. She knows absolutely nothing about me having met her once for 10 minutes in which time she tried to bully me into getting a bus pass.

nonperson 09-01-2020 03:04 PM

She could still be useful to talk things through with as you're filling out the form.

one_step_closer 09-01-2020 03:28 PM

Maybe your support worker or someone from the CMHT will have the assessment criteria for benefits or at least some knowledge of what they look for so that they can advise you on what to write. Would citizens advice be of any help?

Does anyone listen to what you want to talk about?

I don't think you've ruined your whole life but I can understand feeling stuck and not in a good place.

tamobhuuta 09-01-2020 03:36 PM

Citizens Advice Bureau advised my mum to fill my forms in according to how I am at my worse.

chinahorse 09-01-2020 09:37 PM

Theres no one there at the cmht. CPN is always off sick. I don't trust the citizens advice. Whenever I've previously asked them for help they just linked me to websites that didn't help or told me what I asked wasn't in their scope.

Maybe 2 people listen properly, without turning it to their agenda. And I really value them. But I wish professionals would be one of those people, so they could help as well as listen.

I have ruined it. Less than 6 months ago I had a decent enough standard of living, a decent job I enjoyed even if it was annoying at times, I had finally just about gotten therapy, was on meds that helped, had real life close by friends as well as online ones, and a relationship that worked with my parents. It wasnt perfect by a long shot that life 6 months ago but it was a hell of a lot better than now.

one_step_closer 10-01-2020 01:44 PM

Of course, professionals really should be listening to you and going by what you say rather than what they think is important to be doing. Do you know when you next see someone?

You weren't happy with how things were before either, I'm sorry that you feel like things have gotten so much worse that you'd rather be back where you were. What's happening with therapy, meds, friends, and your parents at the moment?

chinahorse 10-01-2020 09:19 PM

Meant to see support worker and cpn on wednesday. Need to speak to her. To know if I can cancel without them saying I'm not engaging.

I cant keep going. I'm so sad. On my own and sad.

Auror. 10-01-2020 10:31 PM

Why would you cancel?

chinahorse 10-01-2020 10:43 PM

Meeting is to discuss what activities she can support me to go to. I cant afford to go to anything.

Auror. 11-01-2020 12:21 AM

Free activities do exist. I do things with my case manager human that are free. We have done things like gone to a library and gone for a walk because they are things that I maybe would not be able to do on my own. Any type of activities they offer to support you in doing generally they also take your financial situation into consideration.

chinahorse 11-01-2020 04:12 AM

I'm not stupid I do know free activities exist. Just not anything I have a vague interest in doing that is local. It's either a bus ride away or costs money. Please do not insult me by thinking I've not looked up the options.

Auror. 11-01-2020 04:47 AM

It wasn't meant to be an insult? I was trying to explain that they don't just have to do things with you that cost money. They can also often drive you to the places. My case manager human always takes me places in their car. I really was not trying to insult you. I was trying to explain that they can sometimes offer ways around some of the financial and transportation barriers that come with doing things.

one_step_closer 11-01-2020 11:09 AM

You might be able to get a bus pass or reduced rate for some things. Do you need any support with things at home? Your support worker could maybe help with that too if needed. I think you should keep the appointment and discuss the issues you have with money etc, they could know of ways around things.

Auror. 11-01-2020 05:41 PM

The above is a good point! I know my case manager human has offered to try cooking things with me and has just helped with basic stuff at home when I have really been struggling. Often if they come over they just sit at home with me and we do things like look at mail I need help understanding, or just talk about what is going on and what types of things I could try to help with the stressful things.

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but have you told the new CMHT humans about the man?

Pi.R^2 11-01-2020 07:22 PM

I do think you should at least keep the appointment if you can. You can tell them exactly why you think their service is not relevant in your circumstances and they'll either come up with some other way they can help you that they haven't previously offered, or agree that it's no use and not bother you again?

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