*cuddles everyone* I am reading and thinking of everyone just to let you guys know.

Sorry i've been crap last night and today.

I've got one phrase repeating over and over in my head and people are starting to notice my arms... and things are just crap. i'm sorry to whine.

Nicole, hope you sleep well :)

Laura, you're not whining.

Mark, oh you finally make an individual post to me now?

April, how you doing sweetie???

Right now... I am really quite ****ing anxious. I hate it. :( I don't know how to get it out, but... I don't know what to do, I don't know how to make it go away, I just don't know. I HATE IT.

I'm sorry. I really shouldn't post this here. I really should learn how not to rant. I'm sorry............... :crying:

Updated r/v...

*cuddles all*

*cuddles everyone who wants*

argh gotta ****ing get up at 7 in the bloody morning :(
dontwanna *stamps feet*

THANKS!
No I didnt...wish I could draw though haha
I dont mind :) either is fine

Cuddles all. Hmm in a strange place tonight, can't sleep scared worried, really wants to go home, can't, curls up and crys

*offers cuddles back if you want*

april, read your r/v, message me if you want [and i dont mind if you rant on here :)] <3

Thanks for the welcome guys. My sister's getting married today. So many people... So many people
*shakes & hides under the duvet*

I think I'll stay here for a while if that's ok :)

*huggles all*

To risk sounding like a clique ... Wake me up on August 30th please ...

*Hugs April* I Just read you R/V thread

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Unicorn Tears*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hug Lex*

*Hugs Helen*

*hugs everyone*

Hmm a hugfest... :P

How's everyone doing this morning? Nicole *glomps* I spy you. ;)

I'm meh. Arguing with Jarrod via text is NOT a good way to start off the morning. Especially since I let my mouth get the better of me and I swore at him. :-/ Not an especially BAD swear word (IMHO)... just "damn"... but still, I feel kinda bad. And I haven't responded to his last text yet. It's all about whether I stay with my car at the shop today (what has to be done will take a couple of hours) or if I get a ride from my parents and come back home. Gahhh. I don't want to stay as I get bored quickly. He thinks I should stay because it's "only a couple of hours." >_< FFS, he told me to take a fricking MAGAZINE to get me through the time there. I read too quickly for that and so does he. I don't reread articles, usually. Anyway... sorry to bore y'all with our pettiness. :(

I went on WoW this morning but no one - in any of my (3) guilds - were on. Nor were any of my friends. This is rather peculiar as people are usually always on Bronzebeard-US at least... but no... :-/ It was quite lonely so after an hour and a bit (lol) I got off. *sigh* I hate being lonely. HATE IT. :(

Anyway, enough ranting & rambling on my part. I suppose I should reply to Jarrod's last text that he sent me half an hour ago?? :-X

*hides in the warren where no one can find her*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs April* I FEEL fat ugh . sorry . I'm sorry to hear about your text arguement with Jarrod :) You probably should text him back hmmm 2 hours is not fun just waiting around the garage for your car to be fixed :S

*waves*

*cuddles Mark* I understand the fat feeling but you're not fat, love. Anyway, I did text Jarrod back, just now, and also 20 minutes ago, but no response yet. >_< I feel pretty awful now about that... guhh... :( it makes me sad. So... anyway... *sigh*

*hides again and cries quietly*

Jess *glomps* How are you, love?

*hugs April* I'm doing okay. Things have been going better for me which is a nice change. Sorry to hear you are arguing.

*Hugs Jessica* Glad to hear you are doing a bit better :)

*hugs everybody*

I'm in so much pain, probably should get it checked out but I'm stubborn. Not been the best of days so far for many reasons >_< Want to harm :/

*hides*

Hi guys. Im going to update my r/v thread then come back and hide under a duvet...coz I dont want to work another shift feeling like this :(

*hides*

*hides with Lex*

*is frustrated & angry*

:crying:

Just want to give up, for so many reasons...

*hides with lindsay and Lex*

*hugs Mark*

*hugs Hels* Why so much pain? And if it's been kicking around for a little while, you should probably get it checked =/

*finds Nicole and Lindsay and Louise and gives them hugs*

*hugs April* Don't give up hun <3

Jaw is still swollen and sore, I look like a chipmunk. Probably just gonna lie in bed all day with ice packs. I'll try to pop in every now and then.

Taz, so much pain, I don't know why I have it, but only had since I woke up. Hurts in my side, near my ribcage, everytime I breathe in. *hugs back*

*hugs Nicole & Alex*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugse Helen* if you still have the pain tomorrow you should probably make a Drs appointment , sorry

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Taz* *Gives ice for your teeth*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Nicole*

Why you sorry Mark?

I just felt I was Umm , stating the obvious .

I just feel the need to apologise a LOT , insecure I guess . I really want to say sorry now heh.

Oh okay....I might get an appointment on Monday if it's no better :) But it keeps going much better, than bit painful and then settles..

:(

*hugs all the wardies, then curls up in the warren to cry softly*

Jarrod's supposed to call shortly on his break... and I don't really want to talk to him if he's gonna start in on me about my car, etc. *sigh* :( Feel like a complete & utter bitch for saying that, but... it's true.

I am also having a REALLY bad day when it comes to food. Have barely eaten at all which is probably contributing to the bitchiness. I don't know. I just... am in a hate-life mode right now. And I'm "allowed" to slip up every once in awhile, I know that... but maybe I'm "capitalizing" on that now? since I know that Jarrod won't be too pissed at me for slipping up, as long as it's not very frequently? I don't know. VERY FRUSTRATING. :'(

*hides again* :crying:

*Hugs April* Sorry I can't find any inspirational comment , I'm struggling myself this evening :(

*hugs everyone* I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling.

*hugs everyone then hides*

Taz!! I spots you *Hugs* How's your mouth now ?

*gently hugs Helen's side* Have you tried applying heat to it? I would definitely suggest seeing a doctor soon if the pain doesn't let up. That way at least you'd have one less thing to worry about!

*hugs Mark* Sorry to hear you're struggling. Don't worry about apologizing too much... although one of my friends does it all the time and drives me insane :P My mouth is still swollen and sore, but not as bad as earlier! Although my back pain has returned... =/ I've had it for over a week but I'm too stubborn to go to the clinic.

*hugs April* Try not to take advantage of being allowed to slip up. Yes, it cuts you some slack... but it's more just so that you don't feel as guilty if you do... is this making any sense? Probably not :/ Just keep fighting it as best as you can <33

*hugs Lindsay* How are you?

*hugs Nicole*

*screams, cries and throws things.* i ****ing give up. ive had enough

I'm feeling kind of low. My brother is moving out on Sunday so i'll be living on my own without any friends nearby either. I think it will just be an excuse for me to self harm and overdose more.

*hugs Nicole* What's happening?

*hugs lindsay* my friends making up **** about me and saying i said stuff when i ****ing didnt.

*cries*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Lindsay* Try not to S.I. and OD more when you live alone , I live alone and I know that it can be a real struggle but it can be done . Sorry if that sounds patronising I didn't mean it to.

*Hugs Louise and hands over a tissue for the tears*

*hugs mark.* i dont know what im doing.

What's up, Louise, hon?? *cuddles*

Nicole, sweet, I'm sorry that your friend's doing that... :( Well, "friend," if you get what I mean. :( That really bites. I wish I could help you more... *huggles*

Mark, struggling with SI?? You haven't talked much about yourself lately. *cuddles* And it's okay, I have the same "sorry" thing that I do... it drives people close to me crazy. I only say "sorry" a lot when I'm dealing with sensitive topics... at least, I think, lol. But still, I understand the urge to say it. Heh.

Laura, Hels, how are you two? You've been pretty quiet lately. *hugs gently*

Taz, glad you're around the ward more, even if you're not feeling the best physically. Maybe you should go and see someone about your back?? *cuddles gently*

Lindsay, I hope that you manage to stay safe. Speaking of which, how are you doing today?? *gentle hugs*

Julie, Crimson, JK, Kahlia, Oliver, Kat, everyone I missed (so sorry - this is why I don't list out names!!!!), how are you all?? *big gentle bear hugs to each of you*

Yes April , struggling with S.I. :( I just want it to be gone ! Getting mad urges and alcohol cravings too which are just mental but feel physical , make sense? Sorry for the whiney post..........

Cuddles all. Hmm I'm okay, I'm okay. Curls up and hides.

Somehow, Jill, sweetie, I don't believe you. *cuddles gently* What's up??

Aww Mark, I'm sorry. :( I wish I could take away your urges... *cuddles gently* And yeh I understand the mental urges feeling physical thing. Sadly. I remember it all too well... SI does that too, haven't had it with alcohol as I've never drunk (literally). Anyway. (Am NOT saying I am better than you or anyone else who struggles with alcoholism or drug addiction or anything similar... just saying I've not experienced it.)

Blah. :(

*sits*