You alright Owen?

I love Christmas :) Although the day's always a bit meh since I have to spend it with my family, but a lot of my extended family come over and I love them so it's cool.

I'm alright today Mark. And in your response to yesterday, I really can't tell anyone else. Partly because I am ashamed, partly because they wouldn't take me seriously, partly because they'd take me too seriously. There are a lot of reasons. It would mean opening up to so much as go to doctor which I'd totally rather not do. Anywho, I'm OK for now. Looking forward to Christmas :)

Oh I know how scary it was for me going to a Dr the first time , it was totally nerve wracking all those years ago so I can empathise with you there , telling people is TOUGH *Squishes*

Sisters here :) Be back Later :)

What's wrong Owen?

Have fun Mark :)

Doesn't seem like nothing. You sure you're alright?

We're all here to listen to you, Owen.

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you feeling today?

Scared. I'm going to a bereavement service at church today and I don't want to go on my own but there is no one who can go with me. I haven't been to church since I was about 12. I'm scared that i'll sit in someone else's seat or something.

How are you, Mark?

I'm.....well I don't know how to describe it , My Sister and Neice have come and gone , I went for a walk , I'm numb I guess , but that's not all of it *sigh* .Words.escape.me.

*hugs Mark* When you find the words i'll be here to listen. Just PM me if i'm not around.

*Hugs Mark* I agree with Lindsey. We're here to listen if you do find the words. Did you enjoy shopping?

*Hugs Lindey* I'm going to church later, it's my youth group's Christmas party. From my experiences, no one has 'seats' you just sit wherever's avaliable. Besides, it's a church. No one's going to shout at you. You'll be alright :)

Lindsay , If your Bereavment serice is like my Grandma's funeral , The very closest family sit right at the front , then the rest of the family ,then family friends . I really don't think people have specific seats though so I'm sure you'll be fine wherever you sit .
Thanks for the Offer of a PM , I'd just worry that I was burdening you though , I know you are struggling as well *Hugs*

Thank you both. It's a bereavement service for everyone who has lost someone this year.

You wouldn't be burdening me at all, Mark. I'm here for you no matter what is going on in my life.

Shopping was nice and we clogged up a cafe with the Baby stroller heh , but coffee came with little welsh cakes :) , Then we did grocery spopping , Pringles are on offer and I bought apples and Tonic water amongst other stuff . Then they left and I had cereal and went back to Adlis for a walk and mooch around . I don't know what to do now I'm looking at the veins on the back of my hand in "That Way" sorry . *Hugs Lia*

Same for me Lindsay . My advice is craptacular but if you need to rant or talk or anything I'm willing to listen :)

Sorry I ranted last night . I was worried that my Lithium ......well I'm worried I've built up a tolerence to it . Taking myself into bed in the daytime is definatley a sign of depression for me and it's been too frequent recently for comfort . I HOPE HOPE HOPE it's just a blip brought on by the Holidays. I think I'm going to go to bed again just too get away from being up and having to do stuff . Just for like an hour or so *Justifys it to himself*

I'm sorry Mark, I hope it starts working again soon.

Best wishes for your service Lindsey.

I really want to shoot my emotions. They can never make up their effin mind. It's weird. I am both happy and unhappy at the same time. 'Numb' and hurting. Ice Queen and moaning Myrtle. I don't understand it and it just confuses me. I wish I just had straight emotions that went one way or the other, how can I feel all these opposites at the same time?

hugs everyone