Aww bless Hells, I'm guessing you were hoping for a girl?
Fairy, I always feel exactly the same. But sometimes a hug is more than enough y'know?
lil princess, what's happening hun?

*cuddles everyone* I hope you're right Kuwairo.

Oo, that's good news Hells.

:'( i just can't take anymore sh*t happening in my life, i'm getting engaged soon and i don't know if i actually want to cause that means i've gotta change the way i am etc etc, i don't want to be here anymore, i don't deserve to be here and i don't deserve anything.

xx

You do deserve to be here lil-princess *hugs* Why do you have to change the way you are if you get engaged?

I am :p
How do you mean change the way you are? It only changes your status hun. Unless you're thinking farther ahead than I am...
You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be happy being here. Promise.

He doesn't like the thought of getting married to a self harmer, so i've gotta sort my mental health out before anything happens, but he is supportive in a way just not in the way i want him to be, he expects me to be happy 24/7 now i'm with him but i'm not.

I do absoluty adore him but i just don't think i'll be able to cope with anything else in my life i hate it, i've fallen out with so many friends and i just don't wanna be here anymore i can't take any more. xx

I haven't been too supporting either. Sorry all.

Helen dear, from the point of view of a seamstress, please watch what you choose for brides maid dresses! Make sure they suit the body types of all of the ladies in the wedding party. Hope you don't mind the warning.

I'm sorry. I'm away one day and i lose track of everything. Dang getting older is tough. I have to remember to take the fish oil that helps my memory.

hugs all around!

Hun does he know how you feel?
It's so hard giving up self harm, so he shouldn't be pressuring you to stop.
Let us help you through hun - keep fighting

Could you talk to him about how hard it is to stop and say that you really do want to get married, it just might take more time to get your mental health sorted out? *hugs*

He knows some parts on how i feel but not all of it :( i'm just scared and worried about he'll react if he finds out the whole thing about how i'm feeling etc etc, and yeah i think i will talk to him, i'm spending the day with tomorrow so maybe i should talk to him about it then, well when we get back from Brighton.

I want to keep fighting, but there is another part of me that doesn't want me to fight and to just give in, i just really don't feel safe right now :( xx

HI ALEXXXX!!! I'm sure your hair's wonderful, and I hope you're having a great time out :) *hugs*
*hugs Susan* hope you're ok over there?
*hugs Emma* I think telling him how you feel is a good idea sweetie. Good luck with it. *more hugs*
*hugs Ku* hope you're doing ok?
*hugs farawayfairy* how you going?

Caught up on a bit of sleep, but not enough yet, still shattered! I will read everything from last week, just maybe when I'm feeling slightly more awake. *huge hugs for anyone I've missed/who wants them*

I'm not too good to be honest. I'm struggling a lot and thinking it would just be easier if I gave up.

*sends hugs*

Hope you feel less tired soon Hannah.

Telling him is a good idea lil-princess. Good luck.

*hugs* thanks :) yeah I'll feel less tired once I've had a good night's sleep. One part I don't like about holidays, the endless hours of travelling to get there and back. Flight left at 5am Turkish time, and we left the hotel at 1.20am, it's just slightly tiring. Never can sleep on buses or planes either. lol, that was a lot of explaining. :S sorry!

Anything in particular you want to talk about sweetie?

Yeah travelling is exhausting! Hope you had a good time though?

I don't know to be honest. I'm just feeling rather low and struggling not to hurt myself but I don't want to spoil how long I've gone. It's getting harder and harder though. Having a bad time with memories too.

I'm okay. Trying to help a friend with a problem. Have a tension headache. Nothing criticle, just bits and pieces. A girlfriend i htough was coming over today is sick. but she and her husband had planned to come over on Wednesday anyway.

So, i may end up working today. 20 each serviettes and place mats to serge, press, and sew. 160 edges. Good time to meditate if my husband will let me. I think i'll end up doing them monday though.

*hugs blondiebear* I hope you get time to meditate.

PS i love road trips. When my husband drives i can sleep. but we live in a good place for road trips.
oh mercy do i have a headache!

Yeah, it was a good week. I'm just kind of sunburnt and bitten lots, lol.
*hugs you* I'm around here and there if you want to talk about anything sweetie.
hope your headache goes away soon, Susan, and I hope you get the chance to meditate.

Put lots of aftersun on *nods* I like the one we used to have - it smelt nice - I'd end up just sitting there with the bottle sniffing it hehe.
Thanks hun. I don't really know what to say to be honest but thanks anyway.

hehe aftersun is awesome! We got an aloe vera one which smells nice too! I think they do it on purpose hehe.
*hugs you*