*hugs everyone*
*curls up*

*Hugs Louise* I feel vague

*Hugs Laura*

How are you both?

*hugs all*

I'm glad Lindsay is safe, thanks for keeping us informed Mark.

I'm not feeling safe at all, early this morning as in about 3am I went to the bridge near me and nearly jumped, I want to do it tonight, I feel as though I'll be able to tonight, I just want to die. I told my counsellor and she kept saying how **** scared she is, but I can't wait for the end of August now, maybe I'll bring my plan forward by a few weeks.

Oliver *Hugs* please don't go through with it , I would miss you terribly :/

*hugs Mark*

I have made myself get into bed, even though I won't sleep for hours, because that way I am less likely to go outside because it would involve getting dressed and I don't have the energy for that. I'm still not safe though, I really want to die so badly, I think after this weekend I may go through with my plan as I can't wait another few weeks.

*Hugs Mark* How are you?

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you dont feel safe. Please dont go through with your plan. Your awesome and i would really miss you.

*Hugs Louise*

*Sends hugs to Lindsay*

*Hugs Laura* How are you?

*hugs Oliver* please don't go through with your plan. I would miss you terribly.
*hugs Ian* how are you?
*hugs Laura*
*hugs Louise*
*hugs Mark*

I'm sorry I'm not around more. I just feel like I've been gone too long... and I know that's dumb... but...

*sits with* love you felicia <3

not dumb.

*hugs oliver* i agree with felicia <3
glad they're trying to help lindsey
love all you guys <3

*Cuddles everyone* Sorry I don't come in much anymore. We don't have internet at home now.
I'm too tired for individuals right now, but Oliver honey, we all love you and would miss you terribly, we're here for you whenever you need us, and feel free to PM me any time, although fb would probably be easier as I can check and reply to that on my phone.
Hope everyone else is staying safe. <3

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Felicia* You've not been gone too long hun <3

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Mark* How're you?

Excisting Charlie ...... *Hugs*

Charlie! *hugs*
*Hugs Mark* I love you.

*Hugs Felicia* I Love You <3

Charlie! *glomps*

*hugs Mark* you okay?

*hugs Oliver* I just wanted to reiterate what everyone has said, we all would miss you a lot. Please don't go through with your plan. Things can get better.

*hugs Felicia* You're not dumb, nor have you been gone for too long. You are always welcome here!

*hugs Heather* How are you doing?

*hugs Ian* I am okay, thanks. How have you been?

So, after today, I won't be on for 11 days because I'll be on vacation in the UK! I'll think of you all lots! Stay safe everyone. <3

*hugs all* sorry I'm not up for individual replies, I just want to let you all know though that I'm away from tomorrow morning until sunday evening because I'm in Scotland doing a presentation at the national LGBT gathering. so don't worry about the fact that I shall disapear for a few days.
I'm still not doing well, I am sort of safe over the next few days cos I'm around people, but my anger is a problem at the moment and I'm scared I'm going to snap and hurt someone.

*cuddles and fruit for you all*

I know their coming.............sorry , I hope my traps arrives before they do.
Traps being ceiling rigged fish hooks , , they're coming

hugs everyone

Hey, just thought I'd drop in and let everyone know I haven't been mobbed by rioters.

*Hugs everyone*

*hugs ward*

I wish I could be a better wardie. I'm sorry. I just can't face my own thoughts today. I keep trying to block them out like I have for weeks. I guess it's time they started drowning me until I find something to do about them. I hate this. I can't socialize, I get too easily irritated. Everything triggers me. I feel so fragile. And I despise this feeling.

*squishes tight and keeps talking to*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Heather*

To Explain Last nights weird post
-
-
-
-
-
-
I'm feeling okay thanks Laura , I just got very paranoid last night , I keep gettting threatening debt collection letters for the previous tennant and sometimes it gets to me , I worry that the baliffs are going to come , and it's nothing to do with me but when it's sorted out with one company they just sell the debt on to another company . I've lived here since October 2009 for crying out loud , *Hugs*

-
-
-
-

I origionally PM'd this to Laura but thought I'd share so as to not worry y'all too much

hugs everyone

How are we all?

Mark - it sounds hard for you, no wonder you are stressed.

*Hugs Louise*

I had to go to hospital yesterday as part of my check up. I had to have a scan. It was ok just.... i dunno it dont matter.

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Louise

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Ian*

I feel low this morning............sorry , I woke up like it.

*hugs Mark* I'm here for you.

*Hugs Felicia* I Love You <3

hugs everyone

*hugs Louise* how are you?

hugs Felicia - i am so so. how are you

you two are way too sweet. not fair :P

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Felicia* <3

*Hugs Heather*

Anyone about? I'm feeling pretty low . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .*Le sigh*

*hugs you all*

I just got back from Aberdeen, after a 6 hour train journey, but it meant I read a lot of my book.

it was a tough few days away, there were over a 100 young lgbt people there and my social anxiety went into overdrive, but the presentation i went there to do went well and everyone was really friendly. I did have a bad night satruday night and tried to hang myself, but failed miserably.
what I can take away from the weekend though is that I'm bloody proud that I'm trans and gay.

I am glad your weekend went well Oliver.

Hope everyone else is ok x

*sneaks in and hugs all my oldie warders and sneaks out agan*

sorry you tried to do that oliver, but im so glad you didnt succeed <3

and glad the speech went well =]

i love you guysssss

*Hugs Oliver* I'm glad your presentation went well :) What book are you reading?

*Hugs Emma* How're you?

*Squishes Helen*

*Huggles Heather*

6 weeks precisley S.I. Free today.
Can't shake this depression though.
Caught my reflection in my Lappy shirtless , so many scars , and I just want to injure ....

*hugs Mark* 6 weeks is amazing. You inspire me. I know you can go even farther than 6 weeks.
And you know I'm always here when you're feeling low <3

*Hugs Felicia* You inspire me , I Love You <3

*hugs Mark* 6 weeks is mega awesome, like Felicia said you can go even further, I believe in you.
I'm reading a book called the Young Elizabeth, its all about the early life of Elizabeth I.

*hugs Helen, Heather, Emma and Felicia* how are you all?

hugs everyone

Well done mark 6weeks is brilliant.

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Louise*

Thanks guys n gals !!

*Night time hugs my wardies*

gah stressed =[
hafta write a 4 page paper for wed, then do a midterm/final take home, and somehow finish a 15 page paper by the 19th.. maybe if i do the first 2 the uni wont kick me out [15 page ppr for diff class] but mum says she wont pay unless i get it done but i cant =[ its making me wanna go deep enough that need to go to hospital =s

*Hugs Mark* Sleep well :)
*Hugs Oliver* I've seen better days. I'm going through a really low time, but it'll pass eventually, I hope.
*Hugs Louise* how are you?
*Hugs Heather* text me?

*cuddles Heather* please try to stay safe. do your work in short chunks and it will soon be done

*hugs Louise*

*hugs Mark* night

*hugs Felicia* sorry your going through a hard time, here if you want to talk about anything

*curls up on felicia*
loveyou.

*cuddles oliver back*