anyone else feeling slightly abandoned? Spent most of the day at my parents' celebrating my sister's bday and finally get home and get 2 out of 3 kids out and hubby takes off.

I tried to talk to him about it and he just got pissy about it and left in the middle of it cuz he didn't like what I had to say. :(

*hugs knees to chest and tries not to feel so alone*

*sits with*

I am so ****ing angry *storms around ward and out into garden*

I know exactly how you feel, Oliver. Only mix mine up with a lot of hurt feelings and the feeling of being the biggest damn idiot in the world... sigh.

I'm feeling so damn triggered right now it's rediculous... I was listening to my music, but now I have a huge head ache so... no more music for me :(

*cuddles Kelly* sorry I dont have words right now, I'm slightly less angry but not much.

it's ok... i don't think there are any words that will really help me right now, but knowing that i'm not alone and that i have awsome friends does help a little... i just with i could count my husband among them right now. he's acting like a total ass and i'm so damn tired of fighting for something he's obviously not willing to fight for as well... and it just makes me want to cut that much more...

*Huggles all*

Hey, sorry I haven't been here lately. how is everyone?

becoming indifferent ... u?

*hugs all* I'm angry still

how dare someone who doesn't know what BPD is question the fact that I have it when I have been diagnosed by a professional, then she asked what it is so I described some of the symptons, like the mood swings, the impulses, the abandoment issues, the paranoia, the anger outbursts, the self harming and suicidal behaviour, the love hate and unstable relationships and she turned around and said while I have some of that so whats so special about you. I felt like killing her, I dont feel special, I hate having BPD, and she just questioned it.

sorry for the rant just needed to get it out. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *stomps around in the garden*

no need to apologize, oliver... that would piss me off too. Tell her that when she goes to medical school, then she can question your diagnoses and how it affects you and sets you appart from her! I can only imagin how hard living w/ BPD or any other disorder could be... I've never been formarly diagnosed though if I had the insurance I'm sure I would be with at least some form of depression ... :(

*hugs Kelly* how are you doing?

eh... tried to be nice to hubby and got attitude so still not great... i'm less mad and more hurt by it now...

i did get out for a 'lil w/ my bff and got some chocolate and soda and that made me feel a tad better... but it's really only a bandaid on a gapping wound if that makes sense

*cuddles Kelly* I'm sorry about your husband, but I'm glad you managed to get out with your bff (is that best friend forever??) and chocolate sounds good :)

yes bff = best friends forever... we've been bff's since 4th grade. There for each other when our kids were born, her for my parent's divorce, me when her dad died... and both of us there to help us through the process of beating SI

*hugs Kelly* thats really great you have someone like that.

I should try to sleep as its 5.40am here, but I'm scared last night I kept waking up covered in sweat from terrifying nightmares

good morning *hugs all* how are you?

*goes to hide somewhere*

Morning hows everyone ?

good morning serenity (dunno your real name..)

I'm numb today, which is good.

how are you?

*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Mute.Scream*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Charlie*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Megz*
*Hugs Serenity*

*hugs Mute.Scream*
*hug mark*


am ok apart from being itchy on my leg ...its really annoying * scratches*