can't do this much longer

urges are so strong...

*Yawns and curls up with a blanket*

Thanks,

Hey Kahlia, just wanted to say I have been following your other thread even if I've not been replying much. I hope being in hospital is helpful and you start to feel better soon. Stay strong hun xxxx

*gives up*

Sighs.

*cuddles everyone*

*finde her old corner and curles up to cry*

I'm sorry, that's all I can do :crying: Not good for much of anything atm.

*hugs helen* don't give up please.
*hugs forever lost* It's okay, don't be sorry. Hope you are okay.
*offers cookies and pillows to everyone*

I'm so mad right now. I understand when people don't have to time/don't want to talk to me right now or whatever... but at least have the decency to tell me. I don't like hearing from other ppl that the person that I wanted to talk to knew i wanted to talk but just decided to never get back to me. I hate when people phase me out. I ALWAYS lose people that i tell things too, i should just stop talking.

Nothing's going right. :'(

*hugs everyone* Sorry it's not more but there have been a lot of posts since I was last able to be in here.

As you will have guess I'm no longer IP. I got discharged today with only a slight change to my medication. Things are still the same - suicidal ideation with plans, voices telling me to kill people and to kill myself and visual hallucinations. It wasn't getting any better while I was in hospital but at least the pdoc was understanding and appeared to be trying to work things out without me having to go through the crisis team. I just hope it works out or I'll be back up there again.

*hugs everyone then goes and hides in a corner*

Nice to see you Kahlia :)
I'm sorry things are still bad - hopefully the alteration in meds will have some effect soon.

*Cuddles Helen* What's going wrong sweets?

xxx

*hugs Arwen* Thanks though the only changed my anti anxiety medication in order to help me sleep and it's not working .....

*cuddles Kahlia* Hope you're feeling better soon sweetie.

*cuddles Arwen* How you doing sweet? Ugh everything's going wrong. I don't even know where to begin anymore. Just so much ****ing **** going on. Don't want to deal with it anymore. Having a really bad day, trying to keep myself safe :/

*Hugs Kahlia* Maybe it takes a bit of time for it to start working? Hope you feel better soon xxx

*Hugs Helen* Well done for trying to keep yourself safe while things are going badly. Have you tried doing something nice for yourself? Something to cheer you up and help you put the bad stuff to the back of your mind? xxx


I'm doing okay :) Absolutely desperate to get a job - I have not got enough money to live on. Because I can't get benefits towards my rent, almost all of my JSA pays for it. Which leaves me £10 a week to live off. Grrrr!
But, other than money stress, things are going well.

Love and hugs for everyone in the Psych Ward.

xxxx

Feel like the sky is falling in

Just can't cope with life. Its all too much...

*curls up*

A kind word and a little time was all i needed...

*cuddles Helen* Thanks. I hope I start feeling better soon too.
*cuddles Arwen* Ditto what I said to helen but yeah I think it takes awhile to work.
*hugs mollycat* What's up hon?

I feel positively awful this morning. Like I have a drug hangover. And I have a really sore back from the hospital beds that a night in my own bed didn't fix. Right at the moment I just want to cry....

*goes and finds a free corner and curls up and cries*

Thanks Laura *hugs* Sorry folks are letting you down atm

*leaves her corner for a bit to bring out tea, coffee, coco, and all sorts of good treats then returns to corner and stares vacantly at the floor*

*sigh*

Love you Helen

i am sick and tired of these urges

don't know how much longer i can hold back

*cuddles all*

Love you too Ally x

Kahlia, hope your back feels better soon, my back is hurting too- well the place under my shoulder is :(

*sleeps in a safe corner*

Babysitting my little sister tonight. What fun. ¬¬

I'm sorry to hear that your back is hurting as well Helen. Mine isn't quite so bad this morning after having a couple of nights in my own bed. *hugs you*

*hands Imogen some pillows and a teddybear to help you stay safe in your corner* *hugs you*

Arwen I note your sarcasm but hope that all goes well. *hugs you*

*hugs everyone*

Yesterday was a really big day. I hope things settle down today. My housemate admitted that he loved me last night but also admitted that he's scared of love. We had a conversation lying on my bed holding hands. I told him that we should take things slowly and see how they turn out.

My physio told me that they pain in my arm is caused by the scar tissue on the inside of my shoulder and the nerves passing through it. She has cut down on the exercises I need to do and was really understanding. She keeps telling me that I'm strong (mentally) but right now I'm having trouble believing it.

Sorry to have made this such a long post. I hope things are going at least semi-okay for everyone.

*cries herself to sleep in her corner*

God, I have no real idea why and it's not making me any happier :crying:

Kahlia, glad your back is beginning to feel better. Hope your shoulder feels better soon too.

Arwen, hope babysitting wasn't too stressful honey.

Ally *massive massive cuddlees*

This pain hasn't shifted, it's driving me nuts because I can't get comfortable at all!!!

Had a bit of an argument/misunderstanding with one of my best friends today. Hate it when we row, because we rarely do. What an arse I was. Luckily we're okay now.

I just realised a few minutes ago, that Monday marked two years since my dad walked out. Shouldn't matter. But now I want to cry even more. Yet I still ****ing can't. Oh well. Life goes on hey? =/ My mental health assessment went really well though. (Can't remember if I already mentioned that or not)

*gently hugs Kahlia*
*hugs forever lost and then offers blanket for sleeping*
*hugs helen* glad your assessment went well! Hope everything else eases up soon.

I wish that I could talk, but I always censor everything i say. Sometimes i wish i could just tell everything.
*curls up and hides*

Babysitting my sister wasn't too bad. She threw an awful strop at one point, but it didn't last too long.

I'm babysitting my one-year-old twin cousins tomorrow. Feeling really anxious and paranoid that I'll do something wrong.

*hides in corner*

*hugs everyone*

Life is complicated but for the moment it's going okay. Just taking things slow and steady.

*curls up and hides*

In a way i'm scared about tomorow...

18... no longer a child...

*cuddles Laura*

Growing old is mandorty, but growing up is optional babe :) You'll still always be a kid etc within you :)

*hugs Helen* ~ Don't hide hon, we would miss you if you weren't here

*hugs Laura* ~ I have to second what Helen said - don't be afraid of the big 18 ... afterall it's just a number

I'm doing okay. Not brilliantly but okay. The hallucinations are still bad but I seem to be able to manage them.

*hugs everyone*

Halluicinations suck hun. *cuddles tight*

*hugs kahlia* i'm sorry your having hallucinations :-(
*hugs helen*

One of my best friends told me that me talking to him is "a lot of responsibility." A few minutes later he was like I didn't mean it like that... but... it's what he said. I lose people... I always lose people.

*wanders in and curls up in a corner*
don't mind me, I'm just hiding from the world for a while...

*hugs Helen, Laura and phoenixescape (sorry don't know your name)*

I hope you are all feeling a bit better.

I won't do a personal reply here I'll save it for my thread for anyone interested.

*hugs everyone*

*hugs everyone*

TsvTux has asked me to say hello to everyone for him.

My arm is still sending off pain messages but at least the physio cut down on the exercises and has given me some "nerve" exercises as the pain was being caused by the nerves going through the scar tissue.

I hope everyone is doing well or at least doing better than they have been doing.

*leaves big hugs for everyone*

*hugs Kahlia gently* Hope armn gets better soon :)

*curls up*

*hugs Helen* So do I

*hugs everyone*

*hugs* for anyone who needs it. how are you all? samxx

*hugs everyone*

How do you deal with a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder? I can cope with Schizo Affective disorder but the diagnosis of DID just blew me away...

I wish anyone in my life would understand what it's like to cut and want to cut...and why I miss it. I feel so utterly alone.

I'm in desperate need for love and that is exactly the department in lacking in.

*hugs everyone*

I had to send my boyfriend up to the hospital so that he didn't attempt suicide. Now I feel like attempting suicide. If anyone has any to spare I could do with some hugs. :'(

back at day 0 since last si...
broke a nice long streak

so overwhelmed with everything
can't handle my own life

I feel like ****. I really want to die....

*big hugs kahlia* I'm sorry about your boyfriend. please stay safe hun.
*hugs everyone else*

Thanks for the hugs Laura. I'm not sure I can keep myself safe tonight but I'm going to try.

*hugs everyone*

*gives everyone massive hugs* Think we could all do with them :(

*hugs* for everyone
*hides under a blanket*

*hugs everyone*

I managed to make it through the night by putting myself to sleep with the aid of sleep drugs. Now I just have to get through the day, and I'm not sure I'll be able to.

I feel like ****.