Sorry:crying:

I am trying my damm hardest not to OD :(

I'm having trouble keeping track of everything, too much on my mind and not yet enough diet pepsi. Whadda ya want, it's not quite 6am. I'm just opening my diet pepsi.

*hugs everyone one by one to make sure they have the tender loving care that they need*

*checks time to see how much longer for call forwarding*

I had a suicide call at 2:am. To alcholics anonymous. Fortunately our notebook of paperwork includes the number to a suicide help line!

*cuddles everyone else*

*hugs everyone who wants one*
Two and a half hours till I leave for my holiday. Saw the woman from EIP today, who managed to freak me out and make me think I'm going to have a crisis while I'm away.

*hugs zowie*

I'm off to shower, take care of our animals, all two of them, and then go set up an alcoholics anonymous meeting. All good stuff. I could use about four hours more sleep.

*hugs everyone*

**** this is scary, I think the sky is about to fall, its getting louder, I can hear screaming, so loud, so so loud, maybe this is it, this is where it all ends.

*snuggles Hells, Jess and Jeremy* From your posts I gather that you all feel like giving in right now, but please don't, I'm enjoying the company in here and getting brave to snuggle people again. Please hang on and stay safe.
*snuggles susan* I hope that you are doing ok, i'm sorry to hear the sad news about your friend
*snuggles claire* Hi, I've not met you before, I'm new and this was my first port of call, glad you've checked yourself in when you need to, I hope things improve for you soon.
*snuggles Kuwairo* thanks for replying about itchy stuff, yeah moisturiser helped. i normally grin and bear it to during the day, but this latest slip not healing too well and didn't want to scratch during my sleep and get blood on the sheets. Not really spoken to you before, but you seem to be very caring and knowledgeable, so please pop in and say hello again if you're ok and checking out. If you're staying, i hope at some point I can return the support to you when you need it.

I'm doing ok I guess today, keeping myself distracted by random things online and going round friends later to drink some wine. I will discover later if thats a good idea or not.....

*hugs claire and offers her a hard hat*

I'm off to my meeting by way of a drive through place to get an egg sandwich.

Take care everyone.

what do they say to you on suicide helplines?

don't do it.... i dunno.

susan.... you can get an egg sandwhich througha drive through? I am so living in the wrong country...

I am all better now. Yep. So great. Things are abso****ingbeautiful.

Yep, scrambled egg cooked in a little mold thingy on the grill, bacon or sausage, some kind of scone or croissant, wrap it in paper, would you like something to drink with that? Get them at Macdonalds, burger king, same places that do burgers, only they also do breakfast from when they open at 6am till 10:30 am when they do all burgers.

Friend is better for now. Yay!

*hugs jess*

oh, tha't snot a sandwhich... tha't s a burger! they have those here... :P I rthought you meant like a proper sandwhich :P

*cuddles*

now the too much caffeine is wearing off. and i'm starting to get sniffy, means i'm starting to cry inside.

Tonight is the birthday for the gent that i wish could be my daddy-friend. I don't know what to say in his card except the obvious. Plus my hands are shaking from the caffeine and my handwriting is legable, barely, at best.

Sigh. It has been such a long confusing week. so now i'm sobbing again, no tears of course.

I want someone to hug me and tell me that it will be okay. But it is my job to make it okay for me and for everyone else. I still want about a half hour hug from him. at best it will be half a minute. And that is if the residen't barbie doll does.....oh never mind, not nice. so not nice.

*snivels and weeps*

And I don't want to wear my shawl to the meeting tonight, don't want to put a sad note.

I hope it starts healing a bit better...
I'm not knowledgeable, not really...but I'm definitely checked in. Need the help right now I'm afraid. I have a free house/weekend coming up and lots of dangerous ideas for what to do with it.

*hugs hayley & susan*

I'm no good atm and I'm sorry. No supporting, nothing to give, just a mess.

But I love you all

*curls up in her corner and cries*

AND I forgot to put my gloves back on between work shifts so I am sitting in the common area in student union building on campus with my cuts, scars, and bandaids showing :crying: How could I be so stupid?

It's not your fault Ally and you aren't stupid. Love you xx

Ok, I try, I visit my grandmother, I care, I go to church, I have a job. I TRY so why the **** do things keep going wrong??? The more I try, the more things **** up. I hate this. I hate not having the courage to end this and I HATE feeling so ****ing agitated. They wonder why I don't like taking meds?? This is ****ing why. **** you world.

8hgus everyoen*

am fine.

*does a cautious happy dance*

As of 5pm California Time, I have 6 months no SI.

I'm having a great conversation with my friend. No matter what happens tomorrow, i will cherish this time i've had with her today.

*hugs everyone*

Congrats on 6 months free Blondie!!!!
*hugs*

yay! go blondie!!!!

Turns a few carwheels for u! feels a bit sick so sits back down!

X

Way to go Susan....congrats!!!


*cuddles every1 else*

*sniffs and whines*
I ran after one of the gents tonight to mooch an extra hug. I feel like such a needy loser. He was a love about it though.
I don't like summer.

Good news though, a bit of a gift is that my mom in law says I can go to her place and just hang out in her back yard whenever I want. She has a very nice back yard.

Thank you for your encouragement and cheers.

I'm still feeling so needy!

*feels needy along with susan*

i want death

*jumps on chloe and cuddles her*

I feel ur pain...i want it too also somewhat :S

well you're not allowed

Emma, *lots of massive hugs hun* keep trying to live, please? :)

Susan, congratulations and lots of hugs.

*hugs Jess* Are you sure you're fine?

*hugs Chloe & Jem* You guys are stronger than this. I still feel slightly how you do but shhh. We can fight this. Please :]

no, i cant...

And same goes to u chloe

and yes..rules do apply to u also :-P

not anymore

Yes they do hun.

We're not going to allow us losing you.

oh yeah i'm great. brilliant.

*hugs* You sure hun? Maybe I'm reading the post as being sarcastic....and it's not meant to be.

oh no. i'm great :)

:)

*hugs Jess all the same :P*

still here:sad:

I'm glad you are ^

hey everyone, I have discovered that a bottle of wine with my new increased amount of meds equals 14hours solid sleeping. I still didn't want to get out of bed today, could have slept some more, but then my body clock would end up really screwed up. Anyhoo.....*snuggles all around the ward* it seems like you all need it more than me today, and Jess I agree with hells, seems like you're being sarcastic when your status is currently miserable and then you say you're fine. I do that in the real world, but in here, just be yourself and get the support that you need.
No gems of wisdom come to mind for anyone, my brain is sooo not functioning at a normal pace, but hang on in their everyone....please stay safe.xx

*cuddles everyone*

*cuddles everyone too*

*hughughughugshugsssssssss*
and jaffa cakes for everyone :]

*cuddles everyone several times*

I don't like jaffa cakes :P Anyone want to share chinese, cookies, and marshemellows :P

oooh Jaffa cakes!!! Thanks Alexx!!
*jumps excidedly around ward munching jaffa cakes*
mmmmm....full moon......half moon.....new moon....lol

oh wow, whilst I was munching, didn't see you there Hells with the extra food. Do you mind if I munch on that too?!.....don't wanna be a piggy or anything, but virtual food can't be bad for us right? xx

:O *weeps then giggles*

haahaha :P
*turns on music and dances*

I just popped out of the ward, went rummaging through my cupboards and thought I'd better bring back some nibbles seeing as I'm the one who always eats everyone elses stuff, lol. So we have veggie pizza, crisps, cheese board & cracker slection, mixed leaf salad, chocolate swiss rolls, milk chocolate covered raisins and then loads of different fizzy drinks and fruit cordial to wash it down with. Please all share the virtual food!! Hopefully I brought along a lil something to suit everyones tatses....

Oooh.....I love dancing, everyone says I dance like a looney, so in here I should be fine then, may I join you for a dance?!

CHOCLATE RAISINS <3333333


I love you loads ^_^

Sure, there's TONNNNNNS =D

Hahahahaha you're always laughing at me Alexx, naughty girl =P *dances with you*

*munches on some crisps :P* *the drinks fizzy stuff* :P

Ooooh anyone want to help me finish off the prawn crackers that came with the chinese?

*dances to music*

Can we play on Singstar Karoke :laugh:

OOH what are we gonna sing?! Though I've taken my meds and should really be settling down for the night soon.
Hope I didn't miss too much, I popped into the vets general area and got lei'd, lol

Did you now :P

I'm gonna sing....build me up buttercup