nah quiet1 i do exactly the same.....
i wanna cut so much.
i wanna do so much more.....
urgh.

*cuddles everyone*
*hugs oliver* never be sorry to ask for a hug hun.

sorry i've been so... vacant... lately and haven't been around much. seems the worse i feel the more i steer clear of social or friend situations, even of the internet kind...

*finds somewhere small and out of the way to sit and cries*

AM I've been gone so long I'm not sure who all around here knows who I am any more (which is a little discouraging but my own fault, huh), lol.
You're not the first o be absent and you won't be the last. But it's good you're back *nods*. Yep. *hands the tea tray* good stuff on there.

FL~ I wasn't as much apologizing for absence as much as the vacantness when I was present... I'm sure I'm not the first or last for that either but still...

btw *extends hand and offers hug* I'm Crimson

*hugs back* Crimson, I am Ally and it's nice to meet you :D
And I know the vacant-ness that you find yourself presenting some times doesn't help matters does it?

*cuddles everyone*

I'm getting near the end now ... Holding myself together with the remainder of what I have left. Getting so tired and damaged by what this life is throwing at me. I just want to hide away and cry the rest of me away.

*cuddles Kahlia* Don't cry yourself away, luv. I'm sorry life's being so brutal right now and I sure wish I had something helpful to say but... *hugs*

Quiet1 , I sometimes plan S.I. too, looking for that window when I can do it undisturbed. your definatly not alone in this . Sometimes I S.I. on impulse sometimes its planned . depends on my current where abouts whether I can get alone or if I have to bide my time until everyone is out of the house when I'm at my parents , I've rambled , hope this A) makes sense and B) Helps in some small way

Welcome, Mark. :) *hands you a mug of tea since she's cold* :P That's what my mum always does - if she's cold, she's like, "Put on a sweatshirt, April!!" or if she's tired she's like, "Do you need a nap?" lol. Anyway, yes, welcome.

*cuddles Oliver* I'm sorry that she seems a bit more distant now, if it's not you imagining then it's probably just her getting used to the idea. I mean, it's a difficult one to really get used to, if you think about it. *more cuddles* How you doing today? ♥

*cuddles LauraStar* Urgh, 16 hours on one bit of coursework?! I should've spent that much time on my psych portfolio (due today, don't know how I'm going to get it done as I am totally uninspired!!). And you're NOT whinging about nothing, sweet, or whinging at all. You're just expressing how you feel about stuff. ♥

*cuddles Jocelyn* Sorry no one's replied to your post - glad things are going okay, and glad that you got a chance to post!! How are you feeling? did covering up the scars/new injuries work? Hope so... what's your favorite part about your job/internship/whatever-you-call-it? ♥

*cuddles Crimson* It's okay to be vacant once in awhile, both whilst you're here & whilst you're not. We all have those days I think. How are you doing today? :) ♥

*cuddles Ally* How're things going with you, love? ♥

*cuddles Kahlia* Don't cry yourself away, sweetie... I know the feeling but you've felt this way before, right? & it's always passed. So maybe this time it will pass as well? Just keep hoping I suppose... you can do it, you can make it through. ♥

*cuddles am-bear* What's wrong, hon? ♥

*cuddles quiet1 & LauraFriend* How're you two doing today? ♥

I hope I didn't miss anyone, & if I did, I'm sorry. So frickin' tired, been getting up at 4:30am the past few days as have been unable to sleep past then. It's so annoying and I am so exhausted by the time evening comes. Today I cancelled tutoring hours as well as therapy so I could get my psych portfolio done, as it's barely started - so I am going to need some caffeine, as much as it makes me anxious!! Grrrr.

My weekend was okay, didn't really do much except study for a health psych exam (am scared!! it's the first one, never had an upper div course with this prof, and it's a different kind of test than the ones I'm used to) and play on new toons on a different server on WoW. :) So yeh... it was an okay weekend, but didn't really do anything special for Valentine's Day despite the fact that I'm married. Oh well.

*hugs everyone & pops out*

Hi Scarletdreamer , Thanks for the tea :) Everyone here is so nice , I'm staying a while if ok with you guys ?

*jumps on ally and cuddles lots*

Sure, Mark, stay as long as you like. :) How are you doing today? *hugs if that's okay?*

*cuddles Helen* How're you doing, love?

Am listening to "Memento Mori" by Flyleaf (new album) now. This is a really good song:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNYXIoz6uc4[/ame]

Hugs are always ok *Hugs ya back*
I'm really triggered today , feeling conflicted , Happy valentines day is over , I was happy Christmas was over too , makes me sound like scrooge :S Valentines day was lonley AND I forgot to watch the Rugby , I just totally forgot it was on .
I'm bidding on Flyeafs first album on ebay , we have good taste in music no?
Sorry to ramble.

Oh, rambling is always fine too!! :D Flyleaf is the best. What's your favorite song that they've done? I think so far the one I posted is as it really hits close to home... because we ALL are treasures whether or not we feel like it. :) I got the album at Walmart where I was so excited to see it.

*more hugs* :)

I feel like such rubbish. Just posted in my r/v spot... gahh... I really am a ****ing slacker, hate myself so so much!!!! :crying:

Well I'm just getting into them but I LOVE the song Cassie.
*hugs* Sorry you feel so low

*cuddles April*

Am very very cold & struggling, our heating has broke :( My dad came over and fixed ti but it's broken again. :(

Oooh Mark I love "Cassie" too. :) It's just that it's been awhile since I've listened to that album (I know, shame on me, but it's not on my iPod yet & that's where my music comes from, so yeh. Need to put it on there!!). But that's a lovely - and sad - song. :) How're you doing today? *hugs back* I see that you like Paramore as well. :D

*cuddles Helen* Awh Hels, I'm sorry to hear that!! It must be miserably cold... bundle up in hoodies and lots of warm socks and get under the covers!! Lol - maybe overkill but maybe not, as being cold is very nasty. :(

:(

It is very nasty. Am wrapping up mostly in pjs, dressing gown & duvet LOL.

Lol @ Helen... but at least you are keeping warm!!!

I am trying to put together this stupid psych portfolio... I am so tired & need to drink more diet Mtn Dew but I'm afraid that I'll get too anxious. I have a ton of stuff to print once I get to campus... feel like crap and I really don't want to do this... just want to lose myself in a book or WoW. I am such a freaking loser. :'(

*sigh*

Still listening to Flyleaf. I think I'll turn on Nickelback in a few minutes... or maybe Anonymous 4... yeah, I think Anonymous 4. They are a very calming group. :)

*hides in darkest corner* :(