*offers hugs to all*

can i come in im tired and low and really f**king sore

*hugs everyone*

Kat - can you get savlon wound wash? I find it great for washing cuts etc (also great for piercings and healing tattoos!)

xx

Please may we skip to friday and then next friday please? :(

I did something horrible to my hand in an attempt to hurt Them inside me.

*hugs, hugs, hugs* I want it to be friday too.

*checks self in*
I need to stay here for a while. Hope that's ok
I am quite... stressed out, depressed, pissed off,
and to be honest... unsafe at the moment.

*hugs Amanda, offers a cuppa and a big comfy sofa to settle down in* stay as long as you want :)

Amannnnnnnnnnnnnda

Stay here forever this time please? Me misses you :(

*clings to Helen*
I miss you too doll

Life is so hard... feels like I am drowning... barely hanging on
I will try and stay but they say I don't deserve to be here... don't deserve to be alive. :-/

Who says you don't deserve to be alive?

voices...
they are so loud I cant hear anything else and I have BIG trouble concentrating.

Getting close to unsafe again. Getting...those urges again.

Kat: sdkgjdkjgh wtfssss, that's bullshit .__.;; *hugs*

*squishes* Sorry it's nothing more

*hugs all*

I got a headache ... :(

life is poop :(
I am a big fat blob that nobody likes, or at least that is how I feel right now.

*hugs Kahlia and offers a head massage*

*hugs Helen, Dayna, Amanda, Kat, Wildly, Steel Maiden, Shell, pez-barbie and anyone else coming in*

I just wish someone would cuddle me and tell me it will be okay but deep down I just know it won't *cries*

x

Thanks Mary Anne. *hugs you*
I just need to stay for a bit while I get my meds sorted out...the Clozapine is knocking me out so I am only taking a quarter of what I should be taking...Voices loud, feeling very paranoid...I want to change to Amisulpride.

Sends a huge huge to Mary Anne xxx

:::::::::::::::: hugs to Katrice, Helen, Dayna, BoundNoMore and Steel maiden ::::::::::::::::::::::::

Feeling crap tonite so can I stay here forever. Im stressed and feel so alone right now.

< hugs > Jade xxx

*Cuddles all*

Outta ****in' nowhere! I'm triggered! =D. Again <__<;;. Does anyone else get that? Sitting around doing something and then suddenly BOOM! Triggered to hell and back. Happens to me a lot D:

*cuddles all*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*hugs all*

Dayna, yep get that *hugs*

*hugs Kahlia* hope you're doing okay

*hugs Jade* you're not alone hun, is there a reason you're stressed?

*hugs MaryAnne* you doing any better?

*hugs SteelMaiden, BoundNoMore, Helen, Shell, Kat*

*sits in cormer rocking self*
Does it ever end????

I'm starting to hate the small hours of morning. No one to talk to. Not tired enough to sleep. Entirely alone.

I don't like it. Being alone means there's a high risk of urges that I don't want

Dayna ~ I have the same issues with the early hours of the morning - more like 4am to whenever my housemates wake up. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone and offer some big hugs.

*hugs and cuddles all*

How is everybody there?

*leaves a few cupcakes for ppl to munch on*

xx

*Hugs Steel, Helen, Kat, Jade, Dayna, Amanda* Sorry if I missed anyone!

Hello Jem! I'm actually okay, little bit tired but feeling pretty positive.
How are you?

*Leaves hugs for anyone who may pop by* xxx

Hey arwen!!!

Glad ur doing okies there :-) Hope it keeps up for u

Me? umm, i feel hopeless and not so great i suppose...oh well *sighs*

*cuddles*

*Cuddles Jem* Hang in there honey. xxx

Thx's arwen

trying too atm...*squishes u back*

Hi Jem & Arwen - *big hugs to both of you if you can accept them*

Am feeling really down and lonely and scared and .... blech. Just trying to keep going.

*leaves hugs to all*

*cuddles Kahlia*

Hang in there :-)

*gives u a cupcake to eat* lol

*big hugs all around*

Hahahahaha Friday tomorrow =D =D =D

*dances around sharing the happiness and hygs*

*Hugs all* Nervous about talking to the asshole again after a week of avoiding him :/

*peeks around door* Any room for a little one? I need somewhere safe to hide for a while...

*hugs all* The Voices are saying I'll end up in hospital on a sect 136...I'm triggered...

Lily Annie Your always welcome xxx

Dayna Big hugs, hope it goes alright

Katrica Sorry you feel down and scared

Zowie, Jet Force, BoundNomore, Huge hugs xxx

Helen, Friday is sooo nearly here finally xxx

Wildly thanks for asking after me, Im feeling a little better today. How are you feeling today.

::::::::::::::: hugs to everyone ::::::::::::::: How is everyone today ??????

Love Jade xxx

urges urges urges and I can't think of a reason to bother fighting them :P pooh

lily annie, there is always room, *hugs*

*hugs Jade* glad you're feeling a little better, I'm up and down like a yoyo although this down seems to have settled for the time being down *shrugs*

*hugs Arwen, Helen, Kat, Kahlia, BoundNoMore, Jem, Dayna and anyone else in here this thursday/friday morning*

Slag.

Whore.

Tart.

Bitch

*hugs Dayna* what's wrong?

*hugs Hannah, Jade and everyone else who's been around*

I just feel like an evil bitch. That guy, I've been talking to his girlfriend (who he led everyone to believe was his ex). Ugh...she feels out of place in the guild he and I are both in. She wouldn't have if it hadn't been for me. It's my fault she feels uncomfortable in a place she once gave her life to .__.

Too much stress and no great way to get rid of it... Struggling to stay SI free, well and struggling just to keep going adn keep from exploding. Plus the insomnia sure doesnt help either.

Work has got me staying up all night. I usualy keep my self pretty distracted. But a whole night alone in the quite is a great way to let all my fears and anxietys fester and boil inside. I kind of feel like I don't have to explain it. Everybody here knows exactly what I am feeling. Oh well.
B

*hugs Dayna* ~ You aren't any of those things sweetheart. For a minute there I was going to ask if you were the voices in my head talking to me because they say those things to me all the time.

*hugs all*

Got to make a big decision today .... and don't feel mentally up to it. Feel like a stupid, pathetic waste of space. *sigh* I guess you get that.

I'm pretty good at screwing up big decisions. Want to tell us what it is, I will chose the worst possible choice, and you can go the other way.
Really what's up. We are out here in the dark waiting to listen.
b

Well for most people it wouldn't be a big decision but for me it is ...

Normally I am part of a choir that travels away at Easter to perform in an Eisteddfod. This year I have only managed to attend one rehearsal due to my housemate attempting to end his life before the second one and my emotional reaction to that. Then I developed a phobia about going out at night which was quite possibly due to lack of sleep and the fact that I'm currently unmedicated for my mental illness. Now I'm on Xanax which I take 3 times a day and means that I don't feel safe driving at night. I have missed several rehearsals but am still listed as going to be going away for the Easter weekend ... tonight they start learning the movement/choreography for the novelty, which means that I really need to be there if I am going away ... and I don't think I am going to be able to do so. Secondly, if I go away I will have to pay something like $250 for accommodation and bus trip and so forth, that I don't have and am not likely to have, or stay with my parents. I have just recently had a huge blow-up with my parents that (even though we have started to heal) means that I don't trust them and keep thinking that they are trying to kill me. So, I don't know what the f*ck I should do. I want to go, but I keep thinking that it isn't a good idea due to the money and the driving at night et cetera...

I know, it's just a little unimportant decision, but right now it feels like the biggest mountain on Earth to climb. :(

Also, I haven't told my parents that I have been offered a surgery date which is for something like 2 or 3 days after we get back from the Easter trip ....

x_O *Hugs Kahlia muchly*

*clings to Dayna*

I'm real sorry about that. That is not fun at all to be in a position like that. You have every right to feel stressed out and depressed about being in such a position. Take care sunshine.
B

*cuddles every1 in the ward*