Sure you're fine? Hmmm Have a *Hug* from me if ok :)

*pops in, gives everyone hugs & then hides*

Ahhh, finally got my letter for JSA!!! Ugh, bastards won't backdate it but least I'm getting it?? :)

So my Houseing support worker came today , rang E-on , they said they were waiting for some readings so they could estimate a bill for me and to ignore the threatening letter ( Can't ignore the scar it made me do ) . then 30 minutes afteer my hsw left and a New bill drops onto my floor from e-on saying it's the estimated one for £1378.05 . What the Crap! , I'm so sickof this now it's been going on too long , I'm triggered and shaking , need to go out get away from tools ....:(

*Hugs Helen* I'm glad you got your JSA letter , hopefully you can quickly get your pills for dizzyness now ?

*snuggles into mark*

*huggles all then jumps down one the holes left in the floor by other wardies and hides under a pile of earth*

Hi Owen*Waves*

it's 19 past midnight

Good morning everyone...

*waves to Owen* Heya love, how are you? and how's Julie?

*cuddles Mark* I'm sorry to hear about the bill, that's utter bullshit. Especially after it seemed they'd gotten it sorted!! But maybe they hadn't time to enter it into their system or whatever before the post went out? I'm glad that you're going on a walk... enjoy the fresh air and try not to fantasize about SI. (Easier said than done, I know!! *hugs tight*)

*cuddles Hels* YEY for the JSA letter!! (although I haven't a clue what "JSA" stands for, lol) I'm glad that it came, finally. I know you've been waiting for that for awhile. Can't you get the iron pills in a pharmacy without a script? because that's how it is over here, they're just another supplement. But I don't know about the UK, things are oddly different over there... lol. :) Hope you're feeling a bit better... sending more cuddles your way!! :D

*cuddles Kat* What's up, sweetie?

I'm really tired... urgh. It's just past 8am here and I have stuff I need to do but I don't want to do any of it. I slept fitfully from 4am-6am so yeah... am pretty sleepy at the mo. Yuck. And I need to be awake/alert to get this stuff done... don't want to do a sloppy job of it all!! :(

I have a dentist's appt tomorrow morning, am worried about that - it's that filling that needs to get done, the one that the anaesthetic wouldn't work on. I'm scare.d It's with a different dentist, the more experienced one, so I hope that he will have better luck with the Novocaine. :-S I don't want to even THINK about going through all of that pain for this filling and another one. :'(

Am thinking about calling the res places today where I'm thinking of going (to one of course, not all three, lol) to see how long their waiting lists are. If they're long enough then I'll start applying or say that I can't come until July anyway... I don't know... feel so stupid. :'( And I hate making phone calls!!!!

Feeling like ****... per usual. Make it stop, make it go away........... :'(

*pokes a note up through the soil* wrote a thread: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...30#post2304930 contains adult and triggers. don't want to talk. just want to hide.

*Giant HUGS April* Things aren't oddly different over hehe they're oddly different over there Heh:) I Hate making official phone calls to but look at it this way , it'll take 5 minutes and then you know how long their waiting lists are and you can make a more informed decision . Make Sense , my mind is so not helping me today , SO Confused , Freaked out by this power company **** and I am making so many typos I'm having to re-type almost every 3-4th word grrr.

I Hope your dentist appointment goes well and the more experianced dentist get the job done without pain :)

*Hugs Julie* Perhaps you should consider getting some sleep ? are you tired?

*Hugs Kat* I read your post Kat , I'm sorry you are having such an ordeal , I don't know what to say to help , sorry , I wish I could magic it all better for you

*crawls out of hole* im trapped *cries* i need help but i cant get it *sobs*

*runs out from her corner, gives BIG hugs to everybody, then goes back into hiding*

I've gotta go out or I'll harm again , :( I've jsut gotta make sure I'm back for my SW appointment at 3.30pm should be easy ,

*Huggles Kat*
*Hugs Taz*

nspcc advert got me. *heart lurches* why when I do feel, does it have to be so strong and overwhelming?

*huggles mark* take care of yourself
*sniffles* I need to take care of babbit
I'll be back later.

*hugs Mark* Please don't SI <3 Go out and distract yourself. You can fight it.
*hugs Kat* Sometimes it's easy to wish we didn't feel anything. Hang in there :( <333

I never do feel anything. When i eventually do, it generally hurts like hell, or makes me very angry. I'm so tired and confused. But i have to get on and do the domestic shop now. have to keep my manic spending urges under control though.