*Hugs Julie* Morning / Evening :)

*Hugs Kahlia* Whats up my little adoptee?:)

Hi everyone.

What's happening, Kahlia?

How are you, Mark?

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm strugging over my birthday and my "suicide plan day" in a week , I keep wanting to cut and drink .......*Sigh* I am trying really hard to think positivley , How are you Lindsay?

*hugs Julie* - Hope you get a good night's sleep.

*hugs Mark* - You are strong enough to beat it Mark. Maybe you could plan something good for the next day? Something you would really want to live for? Something to counteract the bad stuff? Just a thought.

*hugs Lindsay*

I'm not doing too crash hot right now. I'm freaking out at the drop of a hat, I'm suicidal and all the stuff I need is in the house and I want to SI. On top of that I can't sleep and I'm not sure if that's because I'm freaking out or if it's the rain on the roof. My psychiatrist has been assuring me that my resurrgence of the agoraphobia, my wanting to run away and SI and suicidal urges are all caused by the pneumonia and antibiotics and therefore will disappear by the weekend .... I have to admit I am definitely not convinced. I have no reason to doubt him but it seems such a strong reaction. And why didn't I have that reaction to every lot of antibiotics I've been on when I've been sick? Meh.

*hugs everyone then runs and hides in the denial tent*

Kahlia, I made the suicide plan , pretty detailed a while ago when I was suicidal , I'm not suicidal now despite getting these horrible suicidal fantasys , but the 9th holds a lot of significence for me I've got 4 appointments that day and a Mental health helpline number for the evening , I will no doubt be here on the ward too . I'll need a lot of support . I really wish I could put one of my support team in my pocket and bring them home just for that evening heh.

*Hugs Ya* I'm sorry you can't sleep , hmmm camomille tea or lavender scented things do you have, To relax you ?

*Hugs Crimson* I did'nt spot you there :P

So much stress at home with my mum that I'm having chest pains again... :/

*cuddles wardies*

*Hugs Sarah*

*cuddles Sarah*

if only I had a magic wand...

*Hugs Crimson*

If you DO get a magic ward could I please have a lend of it? :)

How are you ?

Of course! I'd teleport over with it straight away!
Eh, up and down so far today... you?

mark we should plan something fun for ur birthday something nice that u can do for urself. wat'd u think

*Hugs Crimson* I'm, well, I'm struggling to be honest , Not looking forward to my birthday and the 9th . Oh how I would like to go to bed tonight and wake up on the 10th . I'm feeling low to , so much I should have done in life by 30 and I haven't :( I'm sorry to moan .

" I feel so pennyless inside "

Thats a good idea Julie , I am at my parents on my birthday weekend but will try and visit the ward :) what should I do?

i havent thought that far ahead yet but everyone in the ward think of good fun things for our mark to do for his birthday and good fun stuff to do on the 9th ok everyone this is an important goal for us to help our marky
*huggles marky*
*frowns and giggles* hmmm no punchuation (and i cant spell yay)

*Huge Hugs Julie* Thankyou so so much :D It makes me feel nice having friends like you :)

I don't believe that anything in life really has a do by date. One of the lawyers I work with has proved as much. She turned 50 before she had her bar exam. :)

Anything you like to do that can pull your mind away from your birthday in the days leading up to it?

I will just try and take it bit by bit Crimson . I've always *ALWAYS* got music on nearly . I'm trying really hard to distract myself . it's hard but I have you guys to talk to. I bought a second hand Playstation game from ebay I started today , I keep losing though but that is a distraction , I'm out of gaming practice heh .

Baby steps I think , I'll try not to think of my birthday or the 9th , I'll think about tomorrows breakfast then I'll think of something esle , my game maybe , does that sound a good idea.

But please bear with me if I need a little extra support over the next 7 days :)

*sits and cries in the corner*
why am i such an epic fail?

You're not Crimson *hugs*

*hugs ward*