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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 04-05-2010 12:09 AM

Thanks guys,today has been ****,have manged not to cut.
cheers for the hugs guys.

MammaMia 04-05-2010 12:28 AM

Thanks Laura. Means a lot. Forgot to say earlier, nightmares are horrible :( So know how you feel.

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 12:52 AM

*cuddles all, then hides*

I'm sorry guys I cant do individual replies too much going on in my head and I did some practice earlier, it was going badly, I got angry, ended up cutting then got angry cos i did that.

stupid stupid boy

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:06 AM

Oliver, love, you're not a "stupid stupid boy" ... we all have regrets and things we wish we could redo... you've done so well for not cutting in awhile, it's just a slip - try not to beat yourself up over it. *cuddles* I wish I could help more... are you taking care of the cut? hopefully it's not too bad... *more cuddles*

Hels, we all care about you in here. I hope that no one here has made you feel unwelcome in any way... *scowls at person if there is one* Feel April's Wrath!!! lol... No but seriously, I know that I like you as a person, you're lovely and sweet and kind, and I know you probably can't believe those things right now, and that's okay... but try to tell yourself them. *holds you gently*

Laura, good to see you posting. *cuddles* How've you been doing? And no worries about being "repetitive" - IT IS OKAY TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU ARE DOING IN HERE. :) Sorry for the caps but it feels like for some of you I need to make sure you see it!! *more cuddles* Miss your longer posts...

I spy an Oliver!! *extra-special April cuddles*

Mark, thanks, I'd love to have virtual lunch - well, supper now - with you. :) You're so sweet. I hope that you're doing okay and aren't feeling too low... *curls up next to*

Jill, I'm sorry that the day was so **** for you... care to talk about it at all? And I'm glad that you managed not to cut - that's awesome!! :D Way to go. *huggles*

Kahlia, JK, Crimson, Hayley, Kat, Nicole, Julie, anyone else I forgot, hope you all are doing well. *big cuddles* ♥

I'm so tired... it's been such a long day. I took that stupid senior sem final thingy, it was a general education assessment, and it was really dumb. I think I got most of the answers right but I'm not sure... it doesn't affect my grade anyway. But it felt like such a damn waste of my time. :( Ugh.

And it's really gross... there are soo many caterpillars all over campus this year, swinging from the trees and crawling on benches and just UGHHH!!! I don't mind them half as much as some girls do though... which is saying something. YUCK. It's awfully nasty... I know I may seem squeamish by posting this, but I did study entomology and have insect collections made, etc... but caterpillars, especially how many are on campus now, just make me go EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! like a little girl. :(

Sorry, that was random. :-/

I'm anxious right now... per usual... and my Klonopin is running out. If it doesn't come tomorrow I'm going to have to have my NP call in an emergency script... I did order it 2-day delivery so it should be here either today or tomorrow... hopefully it was today... :-/


Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:18 AM

Ugh am so triggered... suicide... want to die. :'(

*hides in an invisible hole*


frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:41 AM

*cuddles April lots* I dont want you to die, and I'm sure no one else in the ward does, your such a great person and I love having you around here.
Oh and caterpillars are amazing, so beautiful, but I am a guy who loves all animals and thinks they are all beautiful.

thanks for the special hugs, I just feel so stupid because it was very impulsive and ended up cutting in my hand as well so its pretty visible and got to see my counsellor tomorrow, he knows about it, but we've never discussed it.
I'm doing a bit better now, watching torchwood and tried on my DJ suit as a whole and liked it, it feels good to at last be wearing a DJ for orchestra when I havnt been able to before.

*hugs* helen, yes I agree application forms are so unnecessarilly complicated.

*hugs Laura* yes nightmares do suck, I'm sorry you had one

*hugs shadowedsoul* well done on not cutting

*hugs everyone else who wants them*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 01:50 AM

I can't help but feel like everything I do is pointless. I don't know. I am so sick of my life... but you've all heard it all before, no point in my reiterating it... I just want to die. I am so sick, so so sick of being here - alive, I mean - and after awhile, you all would forget about me anyway.


frenchhorn 04-05-2010 01:58 AM

*cuddles April and sits with for as long as she needs*
We are not sick of you and we would miss you terribly and would not forget about you, you mean a lot to us in here, to me you mean a lot, you always say such kind things to me, well now its my turn to say some to you, because they are true. You are a talented, beautiful, clever, kind, friendly, caring young lady, who should be very proud of herself for keeping going so well, with so much going on in her life.
and if you need to rant/ talk about anything, even if its been said many times before, you can do it in here, or my PM box is always open for you.

*stays sat with April if she wants*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 02:00 AM

Thanks Oliver. *curls up next to and rocks back and forth* I just feel like such **** right now and all because of reading a single post - not on RYL, elsewhere - about someone killing himself. It wasn't graphic or anything, just a mentioning, but it made me think about dying and part of me wishes that no one liked me, because then at least I wouldn't have any reasons NOT to kill myself. :'(

Thank you for your kind words though... *stays curled up next to* :(

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 02:03 AM

*holds April* well I meant all my kind words.

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 02:08 AM

*clings and feels pitiful because of clinging* It's hard to believe them, so hard, I hate myself so much... have since the abuse when I was 14, that's so long ago now I know, over a third of my life ago, but I can't help it... I just want to die... I've had enough. :crying:

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 02:13 AM

*holds onto April tight* its ok, I can understand where you are coming from, I've hated myself since about 14/15 when the seriously bad bullying started, but you know there are people out there who care for you and love you and I know you dont believe it, because if someone said that to me I wouldnt believe it, but its true, because I care about you.
I know its hard to believe the kind words, but it wont stop be saying them because they are true, they really are.

*stays with April and will stay with her all night if necessary*

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 02:15 AM

*curls up next to Oliver and continues rocking back and forth* Thanks... I think I will go take a nice hot bath in a few minutes and then go to bed... I am so tired. Have been so angry lately, much angrier than usual, probably because I'm a petty angry fat bitch... but I can't help it. I don't know how to change.


frenchhorn 04-05-2010 02:19 AM

*cuddles April with extra special Oliver cuddles* a hot bath sounds like a good idea, your NOT a petty angry fat bitch, your beautiful, lovely amazing kind etc, see above post for more :)
I hope a hot bath and sleep helps, I'll be around for a while longer if you need me.

Scarletdreamer 04-05-2010 02:23 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Thanks love... you're a great guy. Off to a hot bath with lavendar salts... maybe that will help cool off some of the anger I have built up in me... I have no idea how to even process my emotions... I don't know. I don't have ANY therapist to turn to anymore... and my NP, well, she still hasn't responded to my text from Saturday night so needless to say she's not very responsive... I don't know... Anyway, bath and bed, and maybe I'll feel better in the morning. :-/

*leaves a box of cuddles on the table for those who want them* ♥

frenchhorn 04-05-2010 02:27 AM

*takes some cuddles from the box* thanks April, I really hope a hot bath and bed will help you, I hope you sleep well.
*gives April a big goodnight cuddles and sends her off with a box filled with cuddles*

MammaMia 04-05-2010 03:23 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I'm faaaaaaaaar too hyper. Hahahaha.

SoMuchMore 04-05-2010 04:01 AM

*cuddles april* as oliver has said, you are a beautiful person, both inside and out. We appreciate you so much here hun. I hope that the bath and sleeping help.

*hugs oliver* im sorry that you cut, would it help to talk to your counsellor at all about it? Hope you are feeling better. Im so glad that you are liking your suit!

*watches helen jump around in hyperness* lol... being hyper can be fun sometimes. Is this a fun type of hyper?

I am not doing well right now. I dont feel like i am ever going to get past this point... everything hurts.
*curls up and cries*

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 06:59 AM

um... hi anyone here

xxjuliexx 04-05-2010 09:20 AM

um.. hi

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