*cuddles everyone*

Nicole, hope it goes well. We'll be there in spirit holding your hand <3

wow 7 pages in 52 hours, been a busy ward! I've got some reading to do...

*goes around the ward checking up on the latest gossip*

mark: I had a boring day at my parents place after going to church this morning. I'm tired and headachy, and sorry I didn't reply for ages, my baby girl needed dinner. *rubs eyes* I so need to stay and recover for a bit, but mother-hood calls and I've got to take muppet and hubby home. Might be back later tonight, if not tommorrow I'm sure. Talking to the curate about our marriage tommorrow, so sure to be emotional. *hugs everyone*

I spy an Oliver, a Hayley, and a Laura!! *tackle hugs*

Hehe...

Laura, I hope that you manage to get your work done too. I'm struggling so much with mine at the moment... :-/

Oliver, so glad that you had a good day. :) You deserve to have MANY good days... so I hope that you manage to retain a bit of today's happiness for awhile. Maybe take some and put it in a large jar and take little bits out when you need to smile? :) (too bad it doesn't work like that... lol)

Hayley, yeah, there were like 3 pages in 24 hours or something like that... utterly crazy (no pun intended!!) how fast this place flies!! :D I love it though... :)

*cuddles all and goes back to working on her paper* *gag* :'(

I'm going to remember that I don't exist

*hides even more*.

Hels *finds and cuddles* What's the matter? If it's me not spotting you at the bottom of the page, it's because of your invisibility cloak!! *more cuddles*

*hugs everyone*
mark-no, i'm staying on for sixth form if i get in, it's gonna be hard, but i think it will be easier to do now than having to go back to school after a few years off
helen-thankyou sweetie, i will probs need that lol.
april-sorry you're feeling crappy, hope you feel better soon
*hugs everyone missed*

*wipes brow, sits down and contemplates* wow, thats me all caught up! Too much to respond to, I'd miss another 7pages if I said all that I wanted to, but I have to do this.....

*grabs Kahlia and Helen by the wrists to get up and do the "free milestone celebration boogie"! 20 months and 2months respectively, go you gals! *extra special huggles*

*whizzes around ward in all the corners and hiding places to give everyone some huggles*

I made it to Eoghan's gig on friday night, then had a mental family day yesterday in which I had to wear my sisters dress (yuk - oh yuk for the dress, not my sister!) for a photo thingy. Anyhoo, did far too much and have been really poorly with my M.E since. Not too sure what I'll manage tonight, but I'm thinking of you all and wishing that I could hold you all tight and spread hope and positivity.

*cuddles April* That was part of it. I'm just being pathetic :'( People keep ignoring me. The very few people I told about today ALL forgot. Two have a good excuse but hmm. Doesn't matter. I don't matter. I should just **** off & die. =)

*cuddles Nicole*

*cuddles Hayley & joins in with dance* Sorry your ME isn't behaving at the moment sweet :(

I've just made some porridge with chocolate rice milk - its suitable for vegans and nutritous, and lots of other good thingys...anyone want some?
*offers round choc porridge*
*munches on her own porridge*

I think I'm going to update my journal, I've not done an entry in about 3weeks now as things have been so up and down. Just not too sure if I can manage the concentration of typing and if my eyes can cope with the laptop glare. I may have to find a different activity tonight. Which is a tad annoying as I wanted to catch up with all you guys properly and also play on WoW. Hey ho...I mustn't let my M.E symptoms drag my mood down...I must enjoy my sane days....

*continues munching on porridge*

I had Dinner Hayley but can I get some porrige to reheat tomorrow?
I'm Going to try and watch SAW 5 now , something/anything to take my mind off , well my mind.
I'm a vegetarian Hayley , one step away from vegan I guess , or maybe one step closer towards it , I'm always reading food labels , I can't have what powder ,its in SO MANY choccy bars but I should'nt eat them anyway , I Have put on weight again , back to my diet tommorow.:S

*curls up*

Aw Hayley, I wish I liked it or I'd eat some with you. Be kind to self.

*curls up with Nicole* What's up darling? Tomorrow? *cuddles* Try not to think about it x

*hugs helen* uhuh. i hate school. why am i bothering with it??!!

Because you need it to set you up for life :) It's almost over darling xx

okay, so i have to do the next couple of weeks, but why do sixth form? why not just find a job in a supermarket and be done with it??

Well if that's what you really want then fair enough :) But 6th form can lead to more opportunities for in you, to achieve your dreams...Whatever you want to do, just makes sure it makes you happy & stuff.

*cuddles*

Hels, honestly, I really didn't spot you. 'Else I would've mentioned you :) 'cause you're a very good friend of mine. *cuddles* And yes, congratulations on the 2 month mark!! - I'm so sorry that people have forgotten or ignored you... you deserve better. :( You're not being pathetic, either. *holds you gently and rocks*

Hayley, I'm sorry that your ME is acting up... hopefully you can stay up a bit and play some WoW... that might help you forget how you're feeling maybe? And what's porridge? kind of like oatmeal? Sounds delicious, so sure, I guess I'll try some. :) Speaking of WoW, is your toon past 20 yet? I hope you get to enjoy some more dungeons soon!! *cuddles*

*cuddles Nicole* I'm sorry you're so upset over school... it is a ton of stress, I gather, and I don't blame you for being upset. I'd say keep going though, if you can manage it, then maybe you can take a break and figure out if you want to go to uni or not? Sorry if that's dense, I honestly have no idea how UK school systems work. >_< Here you go grades 1-12, then college/uni (they're the same thing, basically) for 2-4 years. What degree (Associate's or Bachelor's) you get is based off of how long you go to uni/what program you're in at uni. Then there's grad school, to get your Master's or PhD. :) Hopefully that made sense...

*cuddles Mark* I'm sure that you're not fat, you didn't look it in the pic you shared with us!! I'm the one that's fat... and please be careful with your diet, don't go "crazy" with it (lol, sorry, no pun intended!!). Just eat healthily, if you can... I used to be a vegetarian but found it too difficult to get enough protein. So I stopped - after 3 years!! It was weird to go back to how I used to eat... at first I would only eat fish then extended that to chicken then to everything, basically, although I refuse to eat any fast-food meat except chicken. Well, should refuse that too, as fast food is awful for you. (I just watched "Supersize Me" in Health Psych... *gag*) But anyway... sorry for the ramble. :-S

Sorry if I missed anyone...

*hides again* :'(

yeah I wish we could do that April, keep happiness in jars.

I will reply to individual people later, sorry I need to do work and then go into college and practice. But one good thing, just got off the phone to my mum, just a general chat, but we talked about me being trans a bit, cos she was going on about if I've got my DJ for symphony orchestra sorted and was saying let me know about anything that goes on, so told her I wanted to get my deed poll done, document to get your name legally changed, she said she has been thinking about it and said she is fine with me getting it done, even if she is still trying to find a way around telling the grandma's.
Anyway must go and work, will be back later to reply later.
*sprints around ward giving supper fast hugs, then runs off to work and practice*

April, I know you didn't darling. *cuddles* Thanks for the congratulations.

Why is life so **** && unfair??
Ugh plus people keep refusing to acknowledge my emails/messages, why do I even bother?? Maybe they're not interested anymore :'(