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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Damnation. 07-01-2009 02:16 AM

Helen: Uh...I must admit, I don't quite have the attention span to read that atm x_o. I'll read it when I remember how to think, though

*Hugs Ravyn back* Thanks. Still sort of doing well, but Christ, I'm triggered. Yet again, it came outta ****in' nowhere, so I'm trying to distract myself, but without the ability to turn my thoughts off...lolit'snotworking. More importantly, how're you doing?

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 02:21 AM

Dayna - i hate not being able to turn thoughts off... does music help... i try to listen to music while i'm doing something else so I'm doing more than one thing -- less brain available for the thoughts... it sometimes works *hugs* hope the triggeredness leaves soon.

I'm doing okish.. gave in and SI'd tonite it kinda came out of nowhere but not.. i don't know.. don't want to add to your triggeredness.. but i'm feeling stable at the moment.. quite tired though.. probably head to bed soon

Pomegranate 07-01-2009 02:25 AM

I shouldn't ****ing be here. I DONT want this. I want someone to find me the courage to die.I cant even harm right. Now I need to hurt more. No longer have the energy to get wounds sorted. Not necessary anyway. Only need to see CPN 4/5 times a year and psych 3 times per annum. I DESERVE PAIN AND DAMAGE. I was born for this.

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 02:30 AM

*hugs Emma* No you don't Emma! You don't deserve Pain and Damage; you weren't born for this.. you deserve better! *cuddles*

Damnation. 07-01-2009 02:36 AM

Emma: Ravyn's right, you're a wonderful person and you don't need to hurt yourself even more than you already have! *Hugs tightly* I know what it's like to feel that you can't even SI correctly, but you're worth so more much more than you give yourself credit for!

Ravyn: Music doesn't really make much difference. I'm listening to something nearly 24/7 so yeah, I'm used to having a tune in the background xD;. And don't worry about triggering me. I get triggered more by myself than the things said bu other people

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 02:40 AM

Emma I second what Dayna says:


Originally Posted by .Poisonous.Cyanide. (Post 1339105)
you're worth so more much more than you give yourself credit for!

Dayna: I appreciate you letting me know about the triggeredness.. I prefer to err on side of caution... how are you doing now?

Damnation. 07-01-2009 02:43 AM

Ravyn: Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm careful around an ex-SIer friend of mine, as well. Erm. I'm okay, I think. Still triggered, but am trying to ignore it (can't give in to it anyway, even if I intended to).

One little random question...is my mood showing for anyone else? 'Cause, um, RYL seems to have done away with it O_o;. Ain't changed it, 'tis still set as 'triggered' (or at least, is meant to be), and has...gone?

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 02:47 AM

Dayna: Yup, it says triggered... weirdness with it disappearing on you..

Edit: if it was me; I'd be freaking out at my computer and wanting to throw it down the stairs... that reminds me, has the technaholics anonymous [sorry for the spelling] or whatever it's called been formed yet? :)

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 02:52 AM

*leaves hugs for all*
Hope everyone stay safe... take care.. I'm off to bed... nightynight all

Damnation. 07-01-2009 02:54 AM

Ravyn: O.o Odd. If it dun come back soon, I might take a screenie and/or make a thread in forum and community questions. And LOL not yet, 'cause that would mean admitting that we're all too dependant on computers and the like XDD.

And nighty night you, see you tomorrow if you're on

Mary Anne 07-01-2009 09:41 AM

Morning (it is here)

*takes teddy*

*hugs everyone*

not feeling much better but at least I am at work and have people around me.

take care everyone

ravynsoul 07-01-2009 12:08 PM

Dayna: lol.. yes I guess we would have to admit that then and I ain't admiting anything.. that would mean the computers have won. :P Hope you have a good day.

Mary Anne: *hugs back* take care; glad to hear you're not alone.. i hope your day brightens somewhat. let us know how you're doing.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

mouse in darkness 07-01-2009 02:29 PM

*Triggering* SI
Helen glad to hear that the snow was fun. I also agree with the advice from Emma and Ravyn about your friend. *hugs you tight*

Emma you don't deserve pain and damage you are a wonderful supportive person. *Hugs you tight and gives you a fluffy teddy bear*

Dayna can understand the frustration with getting triggered out of no where. *hugs* Sorry don't know what to say.

Mary Anne hope your day improves to be a good day. I agree with you on stopping the world to get off.*lots of hugs*

Ravyn Hope you have a good sleep and that you are okayish. *hugs you tight*

Well I saw my psychiatrist today. He was concerned about the dreams and started with the hynothearapy. I have SIed nearly every night for the last 5 nights. I just wish I could stop. I want to stop. I hate doing it.:-(
Due to the lack of sleep am very moody and feel completely out of control:ermm: . The light at the end of the tunnel has just been put out. Sorry for the rant. I will be quiet now. *Goes back under the bed with the denial tent over it*

*Hugs and hot chocolate with marshmellows in it for everyone*

Accidentally Abstract 07-01-2009 05:30 PM

Thanks for the messages yesterday guys. I'm home now. x

Mary Anne 07-01-2009 07:39 PM

Glad to hear you are home, hope you are okay.

Ravyn - my day was okay, I feel more in control now, how long it will last I don't know tho. *hugs*

Nicole - I so much just want a break from life. Hope you are feeling okay after seeing the psychiatrist, I know these meetings can be very draining *hugs*

*offers hugs to everyone*

Damnation. 07-01-2009 09:11 PM

Ravyn: And **** knows we can't let those bloody computers win! XDD. And thanks

Nicole: *Hugs back* No need to apologise for the rant, y'know? <3

Lucy: Glad to hear it, and I hope you're feeling a bit better now, too

Mary Anne: Fingers crossed it lasts a good while

*Hugs all*

* * *

Guess who feels like ****? =DD. My mind was rather disturbing me last night, I had all these horrible thoughts swimming around in my mind, graphic mental images of suicide and the like. I ended up telling myself over and over again that I'm worthless, just a burden, a waste of life/time/air/etc and all this. Constant stress is killing me x__x. I feel like I'm going to have a total breakdown soon.

And I'm still ****ing umming and ahhing over going to see the doctor. Thing is, if things get so bad, and I do feel like I could kill myself, I know just how I could do it, too .__.;;. I don't honestly feel like I actually could, no matter how much I think I might want to in my lowest moments. Just wanna make that clear ._.;.

I guess I could always say to my housemate I wanna go to the doctor to talk about my sleeping patterns, and then after say that 'everything else' got talked about as well (and she'd assume I meant the eviction - which wouldn't be a total lie, either). Buuut thing is, when our old GP retired ('suicidal thoughts? NOT MY PROBLEM =D'), my housemate ended up temporarily seeing a new one before she got a regular one assigned to her. And her temporary one is my regular one now. And he wanted to stick my housemate as a suicide risk apparently (and would have, if she hadn't told him about her firm religious/anti-suicide beliefs). So if I see him, I could just see him thinking 'OMGSHE'SASUICIDERISKTOO *locks me up*'. I dunno if that'd be a good thing or not.


Louise 07-01-2009 09:13 PM

sends hugs to everyone

Accidentally Abstract 07-01-2009 09:57 PM

*curls up in a ball*

Damnation. 07-01-2009 10:08 PM

*Hugs Lucy and Louise*

Accidentally Abstract 07-01-2009 10:10 PM

Make it stop. Someone, please make it stop. I cna't go back. I'm so scared.

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