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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

m0nk 31-10-2011 09:17 PM

i really figured out that during my time in the ward that im really trist inside my heart and my emotions are getting unstable ui know i need drugs to calm me down. its the only thing that can help. but its illegal and thats what stops me on the way to making myself calm down. how can i do this without the help of drugs. now remember. medicine that the doctor prescribes is also drugs. and i've been taking antipsychotics and i just had enough. i wanna go exoplore something different than just what i dont have. it just makes me feel more empty than i already am. i dont think talking to ppl i dont know by eyesight helps me anymore. i just dont know what to do. other than sit in my bed or at the computer crying inside cause no one reaches out to me. and when i last talked to someone qualified to talk to it was like she poushed me away and everyone is sneaking up one me from everywhere. i need to talk to someone that has the same feelings as me but i know its just a trap cause there is no one there. my family cant help cause i got really bad memories from there. and i cant just call ppl and ask if i can meet them to be with them for just one day. cause i know they'll just say that they dont know me and hang up. im sitting with a memory of a ex-friend that i never got to say the last word to before i never saw her again. it broke my heart. and what crushed my heart even more was the ex-gf i had after that twisted my mentality into some unknown dream world i wanted nothing from and she dragged me from the gutters and threw me into solitary just like that song from evanescence. i never talk to any psychologists or therapists or nothing. just like everyone wants me away. best i can hope for is sleep like that apodorm. it made me sleep like fast. but it took like two hours for it to work. and i dont get that tonight cause i have to talk to my doctor to get it. i jsut get the vallergan that dont help at all.

m0nk 31-10-2011 09:18 PM

but you are an angel said st.peter. i said i was not cause i have no wings. but you can fly in your dreams he said. yes i can i replied. he said then why dont you use them. because using is part of taking from others and i dont want to go down that path cause it haunts me in my dreams and i help others fight it.

m0nk 31-10-2011 10:46 PM

im feeling a little anxious. just say if you want me to go away or something.

frenchhorn 31-10-2011 10:56 PM

Hi Monk, I'm Oliver. I'm feeling anxious too. any reason for your anxiety?

risenfromperdition 31-10-2011 11:28 PM

dont gotta go 'way :)

m0nk 31-10-2011 11:46 PM

cause i dont get to talk to someone with whats on my heart. it must be someone special like more special than my mom or dad or sisters. but no psychiatrists have talked to me. even though she said she was going to. no one comes visiting me with things that i can handle. they just come here just going to a place like not to meet anyone just have a place to stay. never get to be asked if i want to go out. i do this on my own accourd. and the way my last relationship ended left me a bit wandering.

risenfromperdition 01-11-2011 12:14 AM

<3 <3 <3

oding is addicting *hides*

m0nk 01-11-2011 04:39 AM

i did actually o'd some months back. ended up in the ova in the hospital.

Doikers 01-11-2011 09:13 AM

*Hugs Monk* That's a powerful poem . The ward will be here to support you Monk :)

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Oliver*

one_step_closer 01-11-2011 11:31 AM

*hugs everyone*

Mousie 01-11-2011 11:54 AM

*creeps in while it's dark and hides under the covers*

Doikers 01-11-2011 01:37 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Mousie*

m0nk 01-11-2011 03:00 PM

*hugs everybody in the thread and tries to stay calm* didnt have the rules at mind when i wrote that edited by one step closer. sry..

frenchhorn 01-11-2011 03:03 PM

*hugs all*

I'm being discharged tomorrow

Laura2.0 01-11-2011 03:21 PM

*hugs all*
sorry I haven't been around in the last 9 weeks or so.
I've been at the psych ward where I don't have internet and I was too lazy to catch up on the weekends.
How is everybody?

The following content has been hidden - Reason : don't want to bother anyone so feel free to not read this

I asked if I could go home today, because it's a holiday here in Germany and there are no therapies.
So... now I got my old bookshelf out of my room and cleaned everything so I can set up the new shelves that I bought.
At one point I got kind of distressed... I don't know why. I cut. Then I couldn't find my first aid set and I made a mess in my whole room that I had to clean up. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm sick of it.
I want to be discharched soon, but they say that I'm not stable enough... after 9 weeks.:mad:

Laura2.0 01-11-2011 03:22 PM

*hugs Oliver* I'm jealous. They say that I'm not stable enough and I've been at hosp for the last 9 weeks.

Doikers 01-11-2011 03:23 PM

*Hugs Laura Hugely*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Monk*

Laura2.0 01-11-2011 03:26 PM

*hugs Mark* (that's your name, right? I haven't been here for such a long time... I'm not sure anymore lol)

frenchhorn 01-11-2011 04:37 PM

*hugs Laura and Mark*

Louise 01-11-2011 04:42 PM

hugs everyone

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