we havent been in here for a while. but feel as if we belong in here again.. not really that we had quit feeling that way ..it just had lessened some.

we discovered a new one today. we have had ideas that one like that existed within with us for quite a while now but its different knowing he is really there.
it scares me and for some reason i feel quite ashamed over it.. i wasnt planning to tell my husband about the other one but i try not to keep any secrets from him. he hasnt mentioned it yet..as we had left the notebook the other one wrote in todayout for him to read.. we took our nightly meds earlier along with 2 xanax (2 mgs total) so we are still quite sleepy.
just.. idk.. surrounded with friends online and few offline and family but still feel totally alienated, alone and misunderstood and lost.

i am sorry for complaining.
Hiding

*Hugs Louise*
*Hugs Disturbia*
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Hiding*

I'm up . My Dad left his phone here yesterday so is coming by in a bit to pick it up , I don't know how I feel yet today :S

hugs everybody, curls up

*Hugs Jill* You okay hun?

*Hugs Everyone*

*Squishes Charlie* How are you , any news?

*Hugs Mark*
I'm ok thanks, No news :( How are you?

anxious but numbing effects of alcohol works :S *Hugs Charlie*

Oh Mark :( Please go careful on the drink!
I've gotta admit, the bottle of vodka in the cupboard looks appealing, but I can't....just in case.

Yeah best be safe Charlie hun :s I am watching it , I just don't like myself when I'm sober , I HATE myself , this numbs it

well i havent been on in months, hello everyone!
im struggling a hell of a lot at the moment. dont know why, tried going over everything but not working.
hope everyone is ok xx

*Hugs Steph (right?)*

good memory! yeah, hows you? please tell me mark's correct? xx

It is Mark ! look at us with our Memorys working!

hehe! at least im on form with something tonight!

Whats up Steph ?

*gives everyone huggles*

*sits in the corner and cries* I just want to do nothing right now

just feel so low, ive been doing so well and dont want to ruin it now. theres nothing that has really set me off, i have so much to be happy for, but all of a sudden ive crashed.

*Hugs YodaB* I love that film too but the book was better but it was close.

*Hugs Steph* I'm sorry you feel so **** .

I ......... well I hate myself , In the mornings I caffeinate to wake and at night I alcoholate too sleep ( Way better than sleeping meds but way more expensive and side effects to)

hugs mark, hmm not feeling great tonight. kind feeling low. please stay safe mark