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-   -   Beyond repair. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

chinahorse 10-11-2018 06:32 PM

What happens if I call 111 for a possible leg infection?

EyelinerAndCigarettes 10-11-2018 07:13 PM

111, will ask you basic questions first, like your name, address and if you're calling for yourself or another person.

They will then try to find out your problem & if the correct procedure to help you, i.e waiting till your GP opens, out of hours or A&E.


Elmer 10-11-2018 07:22 PM

Hey Lillie, I hope you manage to call them.

Thinking of you.

chinahorse 11-11-2018 08:29 PM

I'm not doing so good. I should go to A&E but its Sunday.

Aubergine 11-11-2018 10:11 PM

HEy Lillie. Have you been able to go?

chinahorse 12-11-2018 04:39 AM

No I was stupid and once again prioritised being able to go to work. But now I'm awake anyway. I'm so stupid.

chinahorse 12-11-2018 02:52 PM

My boss has just said some horribe things to me because I've had to leave early in pain. And now I'm sad and in pain. Am I a horrible person? She thinks I am.

Cacoethes 12-11-2018 05:08 PM

You are not a horrible person in the slightest
Sounds like she was out of order

Wish I had more helpful things to say

chinahorse 12-11-2018 05:17 PM

Thank you for helping.

I mean I knew she was mean but still. It's a job. She said that what Id done previously didn't matter and that I was severely letting them down and I'm the reason she won't get any of her own work done and it doesn't matter than I can appreciate that.

Tbh what I wanted to say was if you hadn't fired a girl on Friday for literally no reason but kept the girl who doesn't call in sick but just doesn't come in that's not my fault. It's not my problem. And cover for me had been arranged.

But apparently I'm the worst human being.
Im on the brink of self harming again.

nonperson 12-11-2018 05:54 PM

Your boss is the worse human being by far! I know it's hard but really really don't listen to whatever rubbish she's saying.

You're trying your very best (which sounds like way more than other people are doing and they don't have additional things to be dealing with) so it doesn't make you a horrible person for looking after yourself for once.

I'm really sorry your boss is so awful. I know that can't make anything easier. =(

Irisflower 12-11-2018 07:52 PM

I know it takes further time, but once your leg is healed, how would you feel about looking for a new job (without your current boss knowing, of course)? Are there temporary agencies where you live that might be able to help?

chinahorse 12-11-2018 07:58 PM

I'm not qualified in my job and my boss is paying the course fee for me so they 'own' me. And my wage is good. Better than in any equivalent position. You can't temp until you're qualified with experience.

Thanks NP. It helps knowing you and others think shes being out of order.

nonperson 12-11-2018 08:11 PM

How long until you finish the course and qualify?

chinahorse 12-11-2018 08:12 PM

Literally have 1.5 years left but I need them to witness and do things that they aren't.

nonperson 12-11-2018 08:49 PM

Oh. =/

Wish I knew what to suggest. I'd say be forceful with them but that might just backfire seeing as they seem to enjoy being awkward already.

chinahorse 14-11-2018 09:39 PM

Am struggling. Seriously struggling.

Aubergine 14-11-2018 10:46 PM

What's going on, Lillie?

chinahorse 15-11-2018 06:29 AM

I feel awful. I hate my work place. Am struggling to look after myself. I am so so tired. Self harm feels put of control. My body hurts. Everything is too hard and I want to stay in bed.

one_step_closer 16-11-2018 04:45 PM

I'm sorry you're still having such a hard time Lillie. Do you have the energy to look at each thing that is making things feel awful, like work and struggling to look after yourself and out of control self harm, and really break those things down further into what is so difficult about them and what possible solutions/changes there could be? I know nothing can be fully controlled but there might be small things that could help. If you could find ways to take better care of yourself then that might be a start, that's something you have a bit of control over. I know you feel like you're drowning in so much and there is too much to tackle and no options, chip away at smaller parts if you can. What's your support like at the moment?

chinahorse 16-11-2018 07:37 PM

I'm trying so hard I promise. I have to study and wash up and clean and work and wash laundry and pretend everything is ok.

I cant think enough to break things down. Can someone help?

My support doesn't exist.

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