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Doikers 06-06-2011 09:05 PM
So Some news about Oliver.
He is currently in hospital after an OD this morning and is expecting to be transfered to a psych ward today . He Sends Cuddles for all .

So I guess he may well be offline for a bit , he asked me to tell you guys .

Doikers 06-06-2011 09:06 PM
I feel okay thanks Louise How are you ?

YodaBearInterrupted 06-06-2011 09:19 PM
*hugs all*

Thanks for that info Doikers

dontwantyoutoknow 06-06-2011 09:36 PM
Oh nooo *cuddles for Oliver*

Doikers 06-06-2011 09:51 PM
*Hugs Matthew*

*Hugs MJ*

YodaBearInterrupted 06-06-2011 10:06 PM
*hugs Doikers and MJ*

Apparently, some of my co-workers and grandmother tried to get me to go voluntary after work finished today cause they were "concerned"... *sigh* I had to fight them off (not literally, figuratively)

I hope the rest of the afternoon gets better

Louise 06-06-2011 10:18 PM
i am sorry to hear about oliver thanks for letting us know,

I am not bad just tired mark.

Doikers 06-06-2011 10:31 PM
*Hugs Matthew*

*Hugs Louise*

*Night time Hugs All My Wardies*

PoisonedApple 06-06-2011 10:33 PM
Thanks for letting us know Mark *extra hugs and a care pack for Oliver*
*hugs all*

Ok so this may be triggering for being graphic so I'mma hide it...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : friday after work and the result
I got on the bus friday and when I looked out the window after sitting down, this one guy punches this other guy. Just one punch and the guy was down. He hit the pavement so hard that he just started pouring blood from the back of his head. I kinda went into shock since he landed right next to my seat on the bus. had i been standing there and not in the bus I could have reached over and touched him. That's how close he was. And I've seen fights before and I've seen people bleed before so that's now what freaked me out. He was bleeding so much so fast his blood looked deep purple because it wasn't oxidizing as fast as it was pumping and it was pouring out and down the sidewalk so free-flowingly that it seemed like it had the consistency of water. It reminded me of spilled watercolor paint. (I think this was my brain trying to rationalize it when I went into shock) Even after an EMT got off the bus to help him, he was unresponsive and even with a cloth on the wound and pressure being added he was just pouring blood through and around the cloth.
So this morning when I went to work and we got close to the transit center that image was the first thing to hit my mind. It was so triggering for me. It bordered on the ridiculous side.
*sigh*
I'm feeling better now about it but I worry about this afternoon when I have to go home and tomorrow when I have to come back.

I've also decided this morning to start a mood diary in hopes that it will help out when I have a chance to see a professional (after I find one)... I dunno. I've decided to see a professional before then talked myself out of it.... Repeatedly... But I am trying. I have decided to fix up some physical issues of late too. Maybe I've finally put my figurative foot down on the issue.

Cazki 06-06-2011 11:49 PM
Thanks for letting telling us about Oliver. I'm sorry that you felt so bad that you ended up oding. I'm thinking of you Oliver, your awesome.

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Crimson*

I'm not doing great. I'v been thinking of things.... fed up cant cope

SoMuchMore 07-06-2011 04:21 AM
*hugs mark, crimson, ian, louise, matt, mj, kelly, mrs pan, and everyone else*

I'm so sorry to hear about oliver. thanks for letting us know mark.
thinking of you oliver. *hugs*

I hate it here. 1000 steps backwards when in my hometown.

Doikers 07-06-2011 10:03 AM
*Hugs Crimson* I'm sorry you had to witness that and that it happened at all.

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Laura*

Laura2.0 07-06-2011 01:32 PM
*hugs all*
*cuddles Oliver*

Thanks for letting us know Mark.
How are you all?
I'm busy with feeding kids here and it is suuuper hot. Wish I didn't have to worry about the scars on my arms.

Doikers 07-06-2011 04:18 PM
*Hugs Laura*

dontwantyoutoknow 07-06-2011 04:43 PM
*hugs everyone*

I'm really agitated and restless today. Help?

PoisonedApple 07-06-2011 04:52 PM
*hugs Ian, Mark, Laura-Star, Mute-Laura, MJ*

How is everyone this morning/afternoon/evening?

YodaBearInterrupted 07-06-2011 05:01 PM
Meh. Doing a bit better today I guess

Doikers 07-06-2011 05:44 PM
*Hugs MJ* Do you know why you are so agitated hun? Do you have Meds to take . Could you listen to relaxing sounds if you have an Ipod ?

Doikers 07-06-2011 05:45 PM
I Feel okay thanks Crimson , It feels weird , How are you hun ? *Hugs*

*Hugs Matthew*

PoisonedApple 07-06-2011 06:40 PM
*screams into a pillow* fan-****ing-tastic! A is MIA... she didn't come in this morning, didn't call, didn't answer her cell... S is calling her mom since her mom works down the block in another state office. Either way R is sick again today so I may get back in at lunch or I may just be back in tomorrow... :(

*hugs all and leaves care packs, plushies and chocolates*

Doikers 07-06-2011 07:20 PM
*Squishes Crimson*

Laura2.0 07-06-2011 07:21 PM
*hugs mark*
*hugs MJ* do you want to talk about why you are so agitated and restless?

SoMuchMore 07-06-2011 07:32 PM
*hugs everyone*

Hope everyone is staying safe. Thinking of all of you.

Laura2.0 07-06-2011 07:33 PM
*hugs other Laura and waves*

SoMuchMore 07-06-2011 07:35 PM
Hey *waves back* how r u doing?

YodaBearInterrupted 07-06-2011 07:38 PM
*hugs everyone*

I made some cookies.

Writing never sees to help as much as it once did

Laura2.0 07-06-2011 07:52 PM
*hugs other Laura* I'm ok. Except that I'm binging. I binged since yesterday. It's a huge binge and I can't stop. meh.. I'll try to prepare food before the meals tomorrow and only eat what's on my plate.

*hugs YodaBear* maybe you could try some other things to get out stuff... like painting or hmm.. I dunno

SoMuchMore 07-06-2011 08:00 PM
*hugs other laura* I'm sorry about the binge... I know how awful that can feel. Sounds like a good idea for the pre-preparation. When I have binged sometimes plans like that helps.

*hugs matt* oo what kind of cookies?
I'm sorry writing isnt going well for you. Maybe there is some other creative outlet you could try, like laura suggested. Music maybe? Or sometimes just getting out and going for a walk or doing some light exercise can help settle thoughts.

Cazki 07-06-2011 08:03 PM
*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hug Laura*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

I'm struggling a bit at the moment

Laura2.0 07-06-2011 08:11 PM
*cuddles Ian*

Louise 07-06-2011 08:23 PM
hugs everyone

Doikers 07-06-2011 08:27 PM
*Hugs Laura from Germany*

*Hugs Laura from the states*

*Hugs Matthew* OOOh Cookies Thanks!

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Louise*

dontwantyoutoknow 07-06-2011 09:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2841637)
*Hugs MJ* Do you know why you are so agitated hun? Do you have Meds to take . Could you listen to relaxing sounds if you have an Ipod ?
No, I don't. I have anxiety meds, and I've been taking them when I'm meant to etc. I'm just really ARGH today.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mute.Scream (Post 2841743)
*hugs mark*
*hugs MJ* do you want to talk about why you are so agitated and restless?
I don't know why. :-( Probably just my BPD I guess.


*hugs everyone*

PoisonedApple 07-06-2011 10:03 PM
*gives run by hugs* lunch is late since the phones went wonky (every phone in the office rang at the same time with a recorded message) then a bit later the power went out so everyone just sat there in offices with windows so they could see and BSed till the power came back on...
We did finally get ahold of A and she was just home miserably sick...

Wish I could do individuals but no time today... wanted to try to update though and let you guys know I did read up and am thinking of you all. *squishes everyone*

Doikers 07-06-2011 10:12 PM
*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Night time Hugs all my Wardies*

YodaBearInterrupted 08-06-2011 03:15 AM
*wanders in again*

Don't quite know why, just feeling quite blah, not caring for anything right now. Anyway, I am about to get some sleeps. *hugs all in here*

Laura2.0 08-06-2011 09:05 AM
*hugs MJ*
*hugs crimson* I hope today is a bit less stressing for you.
*hugs mark*
*hugs matthew*

Today is good so far. I managed to stop binging and the second foal was born last night. She was galopping around just an hour after she was born. Very cool to watch.

Doikers 08-06-2011 09:22 AM
*Hugs Matthew*

*Hugs Laura*

YodaBearInterrupted 08-06-2011 03:05 PM
Good morning Laura and Doikers *hugs*

Hope everyone is doing good this morning

Doikers 08-06-2011 03:38 PM
*Hugs Matthew*

Louise 08-06-2011 05:23 PM
hugs everyone

PoisonedApple 08-06-2011 05:47 PM
*hugs all*

Doikers 08-06-2011 06:32 PM
*Hugs Louise and Crimson*

YodaBearInterrupted 08-06-2011 08:01 PM
Blah... so much tension right now. And its really hot outside.

Billy! 08-06-2011 08:43 PM
*Cuddles everyone*

Doikers 08-06-2011 09:06 PM
*Hugs Matthew*

*Squishes Charlie*

Emo 08-06-2011 11:07 PM
Hi am John one of Angel21 alters i am over 18, is it ok for me to post here ?

Am bored. How is everyone ?

PoisonedApple 08-06-2011 11:14 PM
Yes of course, John. Welcome, I'm Crimson.

PoisonedApple 08-06-2011 11:18 PM
Anyone have experience with mood diaries? I have 2 different templates I've tried and one I look at the example and I just don't get how to do it and the other wants me to use it hourly and that just isn't feasible for me... Any ideas? And before you say it, just journaling what I feel like when doesn't quite work for me. I either don't get a chance to write it out or I sit to write down whats in my head and I blank out.
*hugs everyone*

misskitty112 09-06-2011 02:20 AM
Crimson, I'm sorry, I've never tried a mood diary... and I can't really just sit down and write how I feel either.

*hugs the rest of the wardies* Sorry, I'm kinda scattered tonight.

I'll be at my grandparents' (the ones that I don't live with) from tomorrow until either Saturday or Sunday, so I probably won't be online much after tomorrow afternoon (not that I post regularly anyway... and I'm sorry for that), but y'all will all be in my thoughts <3


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