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PoisonedApple 03-09-2010 05:48 PM

awesome job April!

Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 05:49 PM

*does the Futterwacken again as she heads out to get lunch!!!!*


nicole94 03-09-2010 05:57 PM

*jumps on april, helen, and felicia* april and felicia, well done for getting the jobs! helen, well done for going to the interview even though you were feeling crap, i hope you get it!
*mark and lia*-please be safe and try not to drink too much. x

Doikers 03-09-2010 06:00 PM

Thats Awesome April !!!!!! I am SO happy for you , I'm sure you'll make a great peer counsellor :D

shadowedsoul 03-09-2010 06:01 PM

Huggles all. Nice one April well done. Stay safe mark and lia.
April and lia, don't worry about me I'm okays, just needed that last night, so much going on, need a relese from everything, just forget my problem just for one night.

FlyingNy 03-09-2010 06:02 PM

That's great April. I'm happy for you. :)

nicole94 03-09-2010 06:18 PM


Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 06:24 PM

I'm worried about you both, Mark & Lia. :( Please stay safe, and Mark, does your nurse know that you're off your Antabuse and back drinking again? :-S Sorry if that's a dense question but I really do think that she ought to know... please stay safe, can't say that enough...

Thanks for the congrats, everyone... feel special 'cause you know before even my parents do. XD I'm so excited/scared... I have to go for a 2-week-long training course sometime in October, somewhere in the state (not sure where and I think I'd have to drive myself, which is rather terrifying... have never driven for a longer period of time than an hour so... well yeah, going for 3-4 hours somewhere would really be difficult). Argh. Especially difficult since the training courses are usually held somewhere in a largish town/city and I don't have a GPS. Hah. :( But I'm still excited. ^_^

Hels, I'm sorry I missed you on FB, I had just gotten on when I got the phone call from the job place for me to come in and talk with them a bit. I didn't ignore you, honest. I just really had to move quickly. :( I hope that you don't feel ignored, and yes, your feelings do matter. *hugs*

Just finished my lunch, ugh. :( Feel so damn full, hate it. Breakfast was easier because I ate that over the span of half an hour, but lunch Jarrod and I just sat down to eat. And ate it. Ugh. Greek yoghurt takes up a hell of a lot of room in my poor stomach. :( And my therapist's on vacation now so I won't see her for about 3 weeks, so I don't really have anyone to vent to about it, even if it is just "once" a week (I say "once" because she is SO FRICKIN' IRREGULAR with her appts... >:( ...it upsets me). I suppose I could text my NP but that is rather a pointless text. Blah.

Anyway. I'll stop taking up space here and do something more productive... like... ummm... taking a nap?? :-/

risenfromperdition 03-09-2010 06:32 PM

congrats on the job april =] ^.^
i gotta go to class [boooo] but will hopefully be on later. wont be on tomorrow tho, as cousins wedding

risenfromperdition 03-09-2010 06:33 PM

i know how much it sucks feeling full but unfortunately you have to sit with it. and no need to apologise for posting <3

FlyingNy 03-09-2010 06:40 PM

I've now lost everything and I feel like I'm on this downwards spiral with no willpower to even bother getting out of it. I want to die.

MammaMia 03-09-2010 06:40 PM

Congratulations April :D :D :D

nicole94 03-09-2010 06:43 PM

lia sweetheart, do you need to talk? you can PM me if you want. *huggles*

Shaughnessy 03-09-2010 06:52 PM


Shaughnessy - welcome to the thread!! I'm sorry your dad's like that... but I am glad that you have a way to kind of escape IRL. That's good. Also, posting here is good - this is a welcoming, supportive, and awesome group of people. :) *hugs if okay?*
Hugs are *always* okay! As usual it all looks better in the morning, just sometimes I get so tired of it all, and then he wonders why I get triggered sometimes, and he feels bad, which makes me feel bad, and it turns into this vicious cycle thing...

*hugs to everyone else*

SoMuchMore 03-09-2010 07:38 PM

Sorry if i miss replying to you there have been many pages since yesterday.

*cuddles april* Congrats on the job!!!

*cuddles helen* i'm glad that your interview went mostly okay! And you are definitely not pathetic, you have a lot going on right now with being sick and all.

*hugs crimson* good luck with the interview process for the job! And I think a lot of people have trouble with eating foods of certain textures. I know that sometimes even if i like something I can't swallow it because it.. i dont know how to word this.. but it almost creeps me out.. or give me the heebie jeebies (as my mother would say haha). I'm sorry you were having trouble eating your fruit 2day...

*hugs mark* that present sounds lovely. I think she'll love it! Try to stay safe with the drinking.

*hugs lia* talk to us hun? please try to stay safe. I am really concerned for you right now.

*hugs shaughnessy* Hi! welcome! I'm Laura. I'm glad you feel better today. Sorry that your dad was being like that las tnight.

*hugs heather* hope you have a good day at class and try to have fun at the wedding.

*hugs kahlia* I'm sorry that you housemate was not being very nice when talking to you. Do you think it could have been because he isn't feeling very well? I hope that he gets better soon.

*hugs jill* hope you are okay. Glad that you found some release but please try not to make at habit of it.

*hugs felicia, lex, claire, mara, kaytee, and everyone else* sorry if i didnt reply individually to you. I did read all the pages though and am thinking of everyone.

I'm sorry that so many of us are struggling right now. I don't really know what to say about myself. I'm existing i guess is the best way to put it. I just want to feel happier for once in my life not this stupid flat-ish feeling that i have going on.

Doikers 03-09-2010 07:51 PM

I want to go too Deep :S man I'm so sorry usually alcohol dull the urges , I could use a reply to this post , I'm freaking myself out sorry


Does anyone know the UK samaritons number?.........I'm feeling desperate , The football is on soon maybe I can Lose myself in the game ......

SoMuchMore 03-09-2010 07:59 PM

*hugs mark tight* please dont do anything. Im here if you want to talk. I dont know the number for the samaritans as i am not in the UK but I could try to google it for you if you'd like

EDIT: the samaritans website has the number on the top of the page http://www.samaritans.org/

The One Who 03-09-2010 08:02 PM

*hugs Mark* The number is 08457 90 90 90.

I hope you stay as safe as you can.

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:06 PM

Thankyou Laura and Claire I am seriously considering calling them

The One Who 03-09-2010 08:08 PM

Please do if you feel you need to. It might help.

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:09 PM

Does anyone think a minor injuries unit would have a nurse on duty past 8 pm? I have not done anything to need them but was wondering

SoMuchMore 03-09-2010 08:09 PM

please do mark if you are feeling like you are going to do something... I would hate to see anything bad happen to you hun.

*extra cuddles*

remember my PM box is always open too.

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:17 PM

I hate I hate I hate feeling this I don't WANT to harm I feel the NEED to , I am scared , sorry

Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 08:24 PM

Mark, love, please stay safe, and you too, Lia. I'm getting really really worried about the both of you. Please keep posting/PM me or someone else. I wish I could whisk you both away out of harm's way and to a better place. :( And Lia, hon, what do you mean you've lost everything? I mean, not to sound harsh or anything but I thought you'd been feeling that way for some time, has something changed other than your mood worsening? *cuddles both tightly*

Laura, I spy you!! *glomps* :) I'm sorry that you are just... existing. I'm not in such a good way myself but I do wish that I could help you in some way, I don't know... I guess I've got that Superman complex going on, where I want to save the world, heh.

*cuddles everyone else* I'm really tired right now, took a nap and now just want to keep sleeping. Ugh. And for some reason am also really really itchy. UGH. :(

Oh and Hels, meant to say earlier, YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC. No one in here is. Well done for making it to your interview. *huggles* Was it for college or for the job? can't remember, sorry, am being dense. :-/

*extra cuddles for all since I feel like it* ;)

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:26 PM

April *Hugs* I am so scared.

one_step_closer 03-09-2010 08:31 PM

*hugs everyone* I'm here for you all, if there is anything I can do just let me know. y PM box is always open.

I overdosed today. I took a lot of pills but the doctor said they weren't very dangerous ones. I just had to have a drip to flush them out of my system. The crisis team is coming to see me over the weekend.

PoisonedApple 03-09-2010 08:37 PM

*peeks in* It's moving very fast in here today... or at least it seems like it to me...
*hugs everyone and hides trying to distract myself with puzzles*

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:38 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I am glad they were not "Dangerous ones" I feel like such a hypocrite but please stay safe hun ( is a guy allowed to call a girl "hun" without coming over as a creep?)

Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 08:39 PM

Mark *hugs back* Why so scared? Sorry if that's a dense question... is it because you think you'll SI worse this time than others? Please try & stay safe, write in your venting spot if you think that will help, go for a walk if that will help keep you safe, watch TV, something, anything to keep you away from your sharps. :( I'm worried about you, as I said... please keep fighting. Maybe try ripping up some old newspaper to get the feelings out (I've never done it but I've heard that it lets out anger/frustration, lets you vent without having to use words, etc.), or punch a pillow/beanbag/something similar (something SOFT)... I'm here if you need to talk. *cuddles*

Lindsay, SO glad that you are okay. Was I right when I said earlier that OD'ing can be addictive? Sorry, haven't OD'd except very minorly once, so I don't know. Please, try and stay safe as well. :( I'm glad that you are okay, so very glad. And I'm also glad that the crisis team is coming to see you this weekend, maybe they'll be able to help? *cuddles*

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:41 PM

My MP3 player broke today , my sister says I can borrow hers and put my own music on it but I wont get it until Monday , I need music to not focus on the bad thoughts whilst out .

Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 08:42 PM

Crimson, you're right, it is moving quite fast in here today (or else you & I are on the same page!! heh). How are you doing, love?? *cuddles*

Mark, I'm not sure the answer to that question. I think in here it's okay (? correct me if I'm wrong ?) because we all know you, but if you were a newbie to the VPW/the site etc. then I think it would be a tad creepy. But that's just my take on it, I don't know. And IRL, it would be creepy to me unless I knew the guy pretty/very well. Hope that answers your question. (However, from other girls' perspectives, it may be totally different.)

MammaMia 03-09-2010 08:43 PM

Lindsay, I'm sorry you overdosed babe, glad it wasn't considered a dangerous one. Please try keep safe.

Mark, think you can call females hun without being a creep. Maybe best to do it with those you know well though?? Like us? :) Please stay safe. Maybe go to A&E if you're feeling really unsafe and/or call the smartians, my best friend used them once before when she wanted to cut and stuff & they were really fantastic with her & even called her back a couple days later and stuff

Laura, I'm glad you're existing but sorry you're struggling. Thanks for what you to said to me :)

April, the interview was for my job ^_^

Crimson, seems to be moving fast to me aswell.

Oh..talking of college!! As I couldn't go yesterday (or today - never could, hence yesterday) I'm going tomorrow & my Mum's happy to come ^_^ Really happy about that now. Eeeeeeek!!! I was starting to stress I wouldn't be able to enrol at all or anything ha. I said last week everything would blow up in my face, then been saying, look it did and now....I think maybe I should take it back? :P Still scared it will in the near future :S

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:45 PM

April , it's a load of crap about turning 30 some of it VERY embarassing , I have PM Laura but I might need to e-mail you , but it's VERY personal and I'm not sure I would not regret it whilst drunk. I was SO planning to telling closer to my birthday though

one_step_closer 03-09-2010 08:46 PM

April, I do think that overdosing can become addictive. I'm already planning my next one and I can't wait. I wish I had never started this. How are you?

Mark, do you have a portable CD player?

Doikers 03-09-2010 08:46 PM

Helen , Best of luck at college tomorrow:)

MammaMia 03-09-2010 08:48 PM

Thanks Mark.

I think ODing can become addictive in a way. When I used to OD, I used to keep wanting to do it and stuff.

The One Who 03-09-2010 08:57 PM

*hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you felt you had to overdose, I really hope the crisis team can help you in some way, and remember we are always here to talk to if you want to.

How are you feeling Crimson? *hugs*

*hugs Mark some more*

misskitty112 03-09-2010 08:57 PM

*hugs everyone*
I'll do individuals later... I promise.
I wanted to say, Mark, stay safe. You can PM, email, facebook me. I'm a good listener.

Right now, I really really want to harm. I just don't know if I can risk it.

RYUU 03-09-2010 09:20 PM

* hugs everyone *
Voices are back there so loud telling me to cut

one_step_closer 03-09-2010 09:28 PM

Keep talking to us, Reaper. You don't have to do anything that the voices say.

MammaMia 03-09-2010 09:41 PM

Lindsay's right...

Bump 03-09-2010 09:47 PM

can i check in?

i feel vulnerable :crying:

PoisonedApple 03-09-2010 09:49 PM

*nods* yep. come on in.

RYUU 03-09-2010 09:51 PM

i dont feel in control

MammaMia 03-09-2010 09:55 PM

Hi PurpleElephant :) *offers cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 03-09-2010 10:12 PM

Welcome to the thread, PurpleElephant!! :) Come on in & make yourself comfortable. I'm April, btw. *hugs if okay?*

I spy... Felicia, Hels, and Shaughnessy!! *glomps all three* :P

one_step_closer 03-09-2010 10:46 PM

Hi PurpleElephant, i'm Lindsay. What's happening?

Reaper, you are in complete control of what you say and do. Show those voices who's boss.

shadowedsoul 03-09-2010 11:31 PM

Cuddles all. Feeling very happy again. Had more drink tonight, not as bad as yesarday. I'm really going to missthese Radom funny moments with my bro. I really havnt laughed so much in my life like this past few days. Hmm .

one_step_closer 03-09-2010 11:37 PM


FlyingNy 03-09-2010 11:47 PM

Em, I know you. I was I'mjustme, but then I changed accounts (author of I'll Heal You) which would explain why I got confused when you checked in and thought 'I swear you already were'. Anyway. How are you right now?

How's everyone?

Been a lot of posts since I was last on a couple of hours ago. Feeling a little better now, but I still think I'm headed for breakdown. Screw it, I already am, but I mean it's going to crash at some point.

Well done again on the job April, I'm really proud of you :)


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