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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

zowie 22-08-2009 06:17 PM

How are you doing Kahlia? xxx

Kahlia1981 23-08-2009 01:27 AM

I'm still here and still OD free. I managed to put myself to sleep so that I didn't act out on the thoughts. I have a contact number for if I feel that way again though.

SoMuchMore 23-08-2009 02:57 AM

*big hugs* Good to hear that you are okay!

I'm about to head off to a party. Time to blow off some steam!

Country Girl 23-08-2009 02:59 AM

Never visited before....thought I would
*curls up in corner and hides*

Kahlia1981 23-08-2009 03:15 AM

*hugs everyone and thanks them for their kind thoughts and concerns*

*offers Rach a box of tissues*

Country Girl 23-08-2009 03:50 AM

*takes tissues*
thanks

Kahlia1981 23-08-2009 03:53 AM

Thats okay Rach *offers hugs*

Labyrinth 23-08-2009 03:57 AM

I wish I had ****ing DONE IT. I wish I had killed him.

PapaBear 23-08-2009 07:57 AM

i'm glad you're okay Kahlia *hugs*

*hugs labyrinth*

I shot a mountain lion today. it attacked and killed my little pony mare, she never saw it coming... the big cat has been terrorizing other people's horses in the area, so either i took the clean shot, or animal contorl would have taken many shots.

RIP Mae, and RIP mountain lion..

MammaMia 23-08-2009 11:07 AM

Shayne, that's so sad about your pony :( May it RIP xxx

*hugs everyone*

I am feeling so ****ing ill. But then I had an increadibly bad night so I am thinking of blaming that...

zowie 23-08-2009 11:22 AM

*Hugs Kahlia* Well done sweetie (y)

Hope you had fun at the party Laura!

*Cuddles Rach* Welcome :)

*Hugs Kat* Hope you're okay hun

*Hugs Shayne* That's so sad about your pony :( But you were so brave shooting the lion!

*Hugs Helen* Sorry to hear you had a bad night, hope you feel better soon

---

I was babysitting my little sister last night, and a friend came over to keep me company :) It was very nice!
I'm going for lunch in about an hour, with my dad and sisters. Then we'll wander over to the pier where the Birdman is taking place. That's basically where nutters create weird contraptions to help them glide as far as they can when they jump off the end of the pier! Should be fun!

Katey-lou 23-08-2009 11:50 AM

Kahlia, well done i'm glad that you managed to not carry out your thoughts *hugs*
How was the party laura, hope you had a good time.
Shayne sorry to hear about your pony, but yeah i agree about being brave with the lion. *hugs*
Hope your doing ok Kat *hugs*

Welocme to the thread Rach, how you doing.*hug*
Helen, hope that your feeling better soon, *hugs*

Zowie, glad that was ok for you last night when you were babysittinjg. hope you have a good day today x*hugs*



me, i'm not too fab, didnt have a great night either, and todays not going much better. :(

*goes and sits in the dark corner away from everything*

MammaMia 23-08-2009 01:34 PM

Feeling ****.
So over all of this to be honest *rolls eyes*

*hugs Arwen and Katey*

Country Girl 23-08-2009 04:30 PM

thanks for the welcome....
felling better today, but still not very good

Labyrinth 23-08-2009 04:35 PM

Well, i've found out what I was dreading.

I 100% need my seroquel at night or else I don't sleep at all. I'm very tired and in trouble with the bf.

youonlyliveonce 23-08-2009 06:57 PM

i want to run away from everyone including myself but cnt do that can

Katey-lou 23-08-2009 11:08 PM

*peeks in to say hi but then goes and hides* :(

SoMuchMore 24-08-2009 06:25 AM

*hugs everyone* sorry i would reply individually but there has been quite a few since last time i posted and i need to go to bed.

Anyway, the party was fun, good drinking lol, and it was good to see everyone before classes start... which is tomorrow... i'm soo nervous, i hate the first days of classes. o well... maybe it won't be so bad.

Hope everyone is alright.

MammaMia 24-08-2009 10:40 AM

*curls up*

Hope everyojne is ok xx

zowie 24-08-2009 10:43 AM

*Hugs everyone on the ward*
I'm feeling disgusting, low, angry, anxious and sick.
I don't know why.

MammaMia 24-08-2009 10:49 AM

Ironically I feel pretty much the same Arwen.
We're here for you sweetie *cuddles tight*
xxx

zowie 24-08-2009 10:54 AM

*Clings to Helen*
Sorry you feel this way too hun. It's horrible.

MammaMia 24-08-2009 11:11 AM

Indeed it is honey.
We'll make it through.
*clings*

Breifly_Tragic </3 24-08-2009 01:18 PM

*Hugs to everyone*

I've been off here for a couple of days just....dealing i guess. It hasn't really helped me though. Just trying to hold on at the mo.

YodaBearInterrupted 24-08-2009 03:20 PM

I give up. Gah I hate everything. I try to talk to my friends... they change the subject as if they don't want to talk about it. I tried to be honest with my parents... and they blew me off and said I was an attention seeker and had none of this ****.... whatever....

*plants self into the ward and stares at the wall wishing someone would care*

lolly_x 24-08-2009 04:27 PM

why don't i have the fleaking motivation to go back to the nursery when I NEED to!!!

my college course depends on it but i feel too shitty after experiences last time I was at the nursery

SoMuchMore 24-08-2009 04:51 PM

*hugs helen and arwen* Neither of you are disgusting, i'm sorry you guys feel so bad right now.

*hugs miss angelus* It's good that you are trying to deal tho, don't give up!

*hugs yodabear* it's really hard when no one will listen.. the people here do care about you tho.

*hugs lolly* i'm sorry your experiences have been bad... maybe it won't be as bad if you try again? Sorry i don't have much advice b/c i don't know the circumstances.

Hope everyone is alright.

*locks self in ward for the rest of the day*

zowie 24-08-2009 08:15 PM

I.can't.stand.her
(My little sister)

MammaMia 24-08-2009 08:32 PM

I.can't.do.this.

shadowedsoul 24-08-2009 08:38 PM

argh!!! why does everything just fall to apart all at the same time. i give up i cant do this much longer. hides in corner and crys

realflifefaerie 24-08-2009 09:20 PM

Really sorry I haven't been around, I went away for the weekend with my family. I'm really not doing well but can't express it, so I am reading but maybe not replying.

*leaves hugs*

Country Girl 24-08-2009 11:24 PM

I have to tell one of my biggest supporters tomorrow that i've been thinking about dieing.....i'm scared....
*pulls covers over head and hides*

Kahlia1981 24-08-2009 11:59 PM

*offers hugs to everyone*

I've been having a rocky couple of days recently. High as a kite one minute then thinking of suicide the next. I still feel like I want to OD only now I have enough meds to be sure of getting it right. The hospital sent my doctor my clinical notes from Friday when my physio took me down to ED. He was ecstatic (not) about that.

Also I have ringworm from somewhere ... so damn over this whole living thing.

On the plus side though .... I'm 1 year SI free today

MammaMia 25-08-2009 12:23 AM

CONGRATULATIONS KAHLIA <3

Sorry you're having such a rough ride of it at the moment :(

Katey-lou 25-08-2009 01:17 AM

AAARRGGHHHHHHHHAAARRRGGHHHHH i HATE FEELING LIKE THIS I HATE IT SOSO MUCH!!!!!!

sorry heads a bit of a mess tonight, ive just had enough of it.

*locks self in room and cries* maybe ill be safe in here :(



*hugs* to everyone

zowie 25-08-2009 10:18 AM

*Cuddles Helen* You CAN do this darling, you've managed to get through these feelings before and you can do it again.

*Hugs shadowedsoul* What's happened hun? It's alright if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but I'm here if you need me. We all are.

*Hugs Secrets* That's okay, I hope you feel better soon :) Here if you need to talk.

*Hugs Rach* If this person is your biggest supporter, they're probably the best person to tell. Try not to worry, chances are they'll want to help you through this. Good luck.

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry things are tough at the moment. Try to reflect on how well you've done - One year! That's a huge achievement! I'm so proud of you sweetie :)

*Hugs Katey* Try to stay strong hun, I hope you feel better this morning.

---

I've been feeling really sickly for the last couple of months. Some people think it may have been the run up to the swine flu, and now I'm just regaining myself. But I don't know.
I told you all about how eating became an impossible task, well now I'm able to eat enough - But afterwards I feel sick and have stomach pains. I've been feeling tired and lethargic, and generally pretty sick.
Hopefully it'll pass. I'm just getting all paranoid that there's some underlining problem.

MammaMia 25-08-2009 11:33 AM

Arwen, I think you should speak to your gp sweetie, that really doesn't sound good. Yes I'm being hyprocritcal here but sounds like you should just get it checked. It may be nothing, but as you have other symptoms, they may have a better idea than just feeling sick all the time. When I was at Jade's and was feelign very very very sick, they couldn't diganoise anything other than 'possible viruis' because it could have been anything. However...more symptoms...usually point to something. Sorry am rambling now.

I know I can get through this feelings, I just don't want to anymore. Too tired of fighting. Too tired of the urges. Too tired of battling every waking minute. Too tired of many things to be honest. *sighs*

One of my best friends isn't doing too good and I let her down massively last night. I made her think I didn't care (or something) anymore and so she gave up fighting against this guy who keeps abusing her :/ Then went out walking dodgy streets, possibly took an od but definately collasped. I sent her (psycho!) sister back (as she'd gone out to find her but stormed off home) and haven't heard anything since other than "She will be"

Kahlia1981 25-08-2009 12:48 PM

*hugs Arwen* - I agree with Helen that you may need to get yourself to a GP and get checked out .

*hugs Katey* - Try to stay safe hon

*hugs Helen* - I know the feeling all too well with not wanting to fight for everything. Right now I'm in a battle to get treatment ....

*hugs everyone*

PapaBear 25-08-2009 03:01 PM

found out why the cougar attacked my pony. rabies, big time. i had to round up all the cats and revaccinate them. not fun.

because Mae was exposed to the virus and her body would act as an incubator and allow the virus to grow and mutate and likely infect my animals, i had to dig her up and send her to be cremated :(

i think, that to be honest, it was harder to have to dig her up and let her be cremated, than it was to see she'd been attacked and killed. =(

Breifly_Tragic </3 25-08-2009 03:29 PM

*Hugs PapaBear* Sorry to hear that it was so hard! Hope you're ok.

*Hugs to everyone else*

I feel like this is all I can do right now. Just sit...and type...try to help other...because i just don't want to stop and feel what i do anymore....I'm going to slip off this edge and I'm at the stage where I couldn't care less. Maybe I'll just let go instead.

*Goes to corner and curls up*

Detour. Derail 25-08-2009 09:07 PM

I'M SICK OF FEELING SO AGGITATED ALL THE TIE!!! FFS!!!
I hate this. & Who I am. & how I KNOW that there'll only be one person who will make an effort when I'm gone.
I feel bad saying that. But its happened before. I move away. People are like "awww I miss you!!" and then slowly but surely...nothing. And before you know it....it's been two or three years and they arent the person you once depended on.

Breifly_Tragic </3 25-08-2009 09:40 PM

Don't hate who you are. You are an amazing person and you will make some good friends in Uni && I'll be here all the time you know this!
Don't let him get to you so much doll, he's only doing it because he's bitter he lost you.
Chin up sunshine. Do NOT fall because of that scum bag.

Detour. Derail 25-08-2009 09:44 PM

****ING BASTARD!!!
You want attitude?! I'll give him ****ing attitude!!!
He better stay out of my way. I swear to god Jade. I'll kill him.

I DONT HAVE AN ATTITUDE!!

Big girls dont cry. They get even.

Its people like him who make me cold and hard and bitter. Thats not who I am

Synthetisk 25-08-2009 09:51 PM

*shuffles back in*

Woah, it's been a long time...

shadowedsoul 25-08-2009 11:07 PM

hmm thanks zowie. hmm everthing has gone wrong at work, getting my ass kicke dand a writen waring for somthing so dam stuiped its unreal. my perents hit the roof. and just yelled at me, i guess if im being fair,they had every right to be angery, i brought this on myself. im trying to fix it. it might be unfixable. and i might loose my job. if that happens im screwed. it doesnt help anything my mum shouting at me calling me a lazy bitch, and yelling in my face do you have any idea what you just done to this family. meh i frigging hate me so much,why was i ever born. =/

Kahlia1981 26-08-2009 02:22 AM

*leaves hugs for everyone*

MammaMia 26-08-2009 02:41 AM

*hugs Kahlia and hides back in the denial tent*

It's fine.
I'm fine.
I'm not passing out again.
I'm not wantitn to go out for a walk.
I'm not wanting to cut.
I'm not wanting to od.
I'm not wanting to die.
I'm not 4 weeks free :'(

SoMuchMore 26-08-2009 05:42 AM

*hugs helen* I'm sorry things are bad for you right now... I wish I knew what to say, hope you feel better and are staying safe.

I was talking to my friend today about how i've been... and he said, "OD-ing is bad, but cutting, i'm down with that." It seemed so odd to me hearing someone who had never even known anyone who SI'd before me to say that he is cool with cutting. I dunno why it's bothering me that he said that. I just hmm.. words are leaving me at the moment. sorry.

Breifly_Tragic </3 26-08-2009 09:12 AM

*hugs to all*

Its officail I gave in. && I'm past caring. I'll hold my head high and like its all fine.

"Hold your head hig little girl, they're jsut dying to see you fall"

Welll no ones gonna see it. No one but me. && you lot I guess.

&& Alex you are NOT cold or bitter. && you're right big girls DO get even...we do it by not showing how much they get to us. Stay strong. Unlike me :)

PapaBear 26-08-2009 09:15 AM

i got depressed. i also got bored. so i bleached my hair, then dyed it bright blue. oddly enough, it made me feel better. sweet =)


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