Oh my god. Hugs. How come?

Thanks to those who tried to cheer me up after my last post <3

*Hugs everyone*

Steel: I'm glad to see that you're going to be sticking with your mum, and no, you don't talk about yourself too much. Feel free to say as much as you want - that's what this thread's here for, yanno?

*hits head on window and cries harder*

She shouldn't be allowed to do this to me!
God Damn!!!
I can't handle her being like this!
Tear my heart open and sew myself shut!!!!
Damn you!
Damn you...
I just want to ****ing kill myself!!!
I have problems too!!!

*hugs for all*

Thanks Damnation. My Mum is very sensitive and gets upset/angry easily, but when she's happy, she's the loveliest person in the world.

*hugs to all*

*leaves something personally nice for everyone*

BBQ went well, but at night I coughed so hard I threw up. It wasn't nice.
:(

Everybody in my building is...That's another 500 people in Birmingham looking for jobs...

*Hugs to everyone*

Haven't been around for a little bit I'm a bit behind on what's going on in everyone's lives. But I hope you are all ok and hanging in there. Thinking of you all xxx

I'm doing ok today. Really fed up of my meds, feel like a zombie half the time. Also got some weird stuff going on with my voices. My bf is here for the weekend which is lovely, now I've got all my favourite people here!

Hope you are all ok xxx

I keep reliving her fitting and the blood. Can someone please make it stop? :'(

who hells?

Ashley from the meet....hope she's ok now :)

If someone finds my memory, can they return it please? :3nod:

I kinda miss it, lol

Sick.
As.
A.
Dog...

*hugs all*

*Teddies for everyone*

Good news :)
Five months free today, and I threw away my tools.

Good job Zowie! *throws confetti*
hahaha


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Maryanne Williamson

I must remember this quote. I think it applies for us all, and I think it is just amazing. :)

^^ That really is an amazing quote, thank you. :).

*Hugs to all*

Hope everybody's ok!

Good one, you <3

Zowie WELL DONE, you must be so proud of yourself

:::::::::::::::::: hugs to everyone ::::::::::::::::::::

How is everyone tonite ???????

Sending you squishy hugs

Jade xxx

Congratulations Arwen, I hope one day I can be five months & more again. *squishes*

*squishes for all*

I wish I was okay. Would like to skip tomorrow. Poetional doctors appointment, really can't do it. My sister is forcing me to go and to come with me, if she can get one. Then I've got uni (or possibly not, depending on the time of appointment). Can't face everyone again. I was supossed to be gone. Tuesday...got counselling, going into the past, haven't done it (the work involved to start this off), I wonder if I could ust show the letter (orginally for mum) like I have done with someone else who was awesome about it. Well two/three people were.

Helen honey

I know you are dreading the doctors but finally they may listen and actually be able to help you this time, keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Also I think showing your Counsellor is a great idea. A real great place to start from.

You are one brave lady and you CAN do this.

Love ya
Jade xxx

I hope you're right Jade.

I'm not brave though, well I don't feel it anymore.

I feel so ugly today.

:/

Helen you are very brave. You're still here and that speaks volumes about how brave you are to have got through so many battles. Hope all goes well with the docs. And don't be worried about uni, it's never as bad as you think it'll be.

zowie wow congratulations!!! :-D Well done you.

And Eclectic*a well done!

Hope everyone is doing ok. It's been a weird day for me in my head but at least it's nearly over.

*Sets up camp huddled in a corner*

Okay. OMG. I have just done it :) My sister came with me. I had to tell a few little white lies about how a certain someone found out and got my family involved, but it has happened that way in the past. Anyway being re-referred back to a place I've been to before (it's uaually for SEVERE mental health problems apprantly) and they're going to phone me (joy to the world)...anyway I swear to god, if they say one or two things that was said last time, I will hit the roof but I know my sister won't leave it at that....but anyway, got to give it a try, might lead into something good i.e. good help that WORKS!!!

Helen ~ well done
Arwen ~ well done
Everyone else ~ well done for anything you've done that you've questioned or fought for

I'm losing my two best friends ..... still have hopes of moving to be with one of them though.

How come you are losing two best friends honey? In what sense are you losing them? *squishes if you can accept them*

I
HATE
LIARS
:@

*hugs Hells*
Whats up sweetie????

*hugs Kahlia* How do you feel like you are loosing them?

I. Need. A blade. Or pills. Or alcohol. Or all ****ing three together

*hugs Damnation* what sweetie whats Up?

Just...I feel like I was another ****ing notch on the bastard's belt. The reason he was able to drop me so fast is because he didn't give a ****. It's hard to forget about him, when my favourite songs carry some sort of reminder, or when he's in my dreams.

I dreamt about him last night, that he messaged me out of the blue, saying that he missed me. Ugh

Aww sweetie, when you are trying to cut someone out they always find ways of getting back into your mind!!! and its always when you least expect it

stay strong and it will happen

Still sick.

Tristan thinks its from pent up emotion.

I think he's probably right.

x_x *Hugs Sorcha*

Rainbow: Yeah, I'm discovering that right now D: I'm trying. It's just doing my damned head in

I. Hate. THE ITCHING. I prefer not being able to move without pain to the itching

I'm falling apart well and truely.

*hugs everyone* spent the weekend in cornwall, no internet, I'd forgotten how much I loved that place, it's so beautiful, keep up the good fight guys, "there is no failure except in no longer trying" *hugs again*

One of my best friends ~ Nicole ~ is moving to WA which is halfway around the country and my other best friend is intending to move to Brisbane ... which leaves me here by myself trying to get help where no-one wants to help me. Sorry for talking about myself so much.

*hugs all*

*hugs Kahlia* - Im sure they dont intend to leave you all by yourself you shall still have contact with them!!! I know how you feel I live 725 milies away from my friends Hells, Kate, John, Diz and Peck but I still keep in contact with all of them!!! Is there anybody else that you can talk to in the town/village/city or surrounding area where you live? If not you are more then welcome to PM me and talk to me!! my ears are always open and i try to help as much as i can!!!

and your not talking about your self to much!! its good to talk

Damnation *hugs* well done for stayting strong - sorry to hear about the pain and the itching itss not a nice feeling - but if you can get hold of some E45 cream of some sudocream that will releave the itching if it is external itctching

Hells *Hugs* Whats up sweetheart why do you feel like you are falling apart?? Do i need to bring down my Fix Hells Glue when i come down??? Im sure Mr Moneky Will Give you Hugs!!!!

*hugs Widly* im glad you had a good weekend away!!! im loooking forward to my weekend away at the end of may!!!!!

qucik update on my - Shoulder still sore gonna take forever to heal!!! My other half is being a bit funny just now like he was when all the ***** kicked off with my so called freinds - today is my first day being Cigorette free - doing okay i think!!!! Just taking each step at a time!!!!

*hugs to all that want and need them*

*leaves some chocolate and hugs for ppl in the ward*

tc of urself xx

Rainbow: Thanks for the tip, I'll bear that in mind *hugs back*

*Hugs everyone else in the ward*

:D Thank you for the well dones everyone. Feeling very proud of myself, and I hope that one day we'll all be free of this horrible addiction! x

Kahlia, I'm sorry to hear that, but hope you can keeep in contact with them :) *major snuggles*

Gil, I shall explain some more later, we need a catch up me thinks, Mr Monkey is giving me snuggles and yes bring the glue ;)

Jem, cuddles.

Hannah, wow, I want to go back to Cormwall sometime, might be going this September. We shall see *nods*

Arwen, you're very welcome my love

A really hard day. Argh. I fail.

Your welcome Damnation - oh by the way just call me Gils!!! :)

Hannah not happy, Hannah stupid, Hannah deserves to hurt, why am I still fighting?

*hugs Gil* good luck being cigarette free and hope your partner stops being funny

Jem how are you? *hugs*

*Hugs Helen* hope monkey helps, yeah cornwall is special

*hugs Arwen* hope you're still going strong

*hugs Dayna* hope you're doing a biit better now, I know what you mean about the itching.

*hugs Ashley* are you feeling any better?

*hugs Kahlia* I know it's hard but at least you have them, my friends that I am closest to are so far away but I know they're there and I know that I love them and they care about me and that helps, when you are down don't hesitate to phone, take care of yourself and don't give up on the situation just yet, people do care about you and that's what matters.

Hannah's not stupid, Hannah's lovely, so there *hugs back*

Gils: Alrighty then ^__^. My real name's Däyna, although due to the way I've been lately, I've not been too keen on it lately. Prefer to be called Tödlich

Getting spaaaaaaaaaaaaacey. Is tempting to give into it x_x

Noooooooooooo.

Thanks Dayna, don't give in, why Todlich? (I don't have an Umlaut on my computer) *cuddles*

but I am stupid, I told a friend I really liked him, but of course he doesn't really like me back and it may have affected our friendship, and I really need his friendship, because he gives the best hugs in the world and I am really struggling with friends at the moment, I feel like I'm messing things up left, right and centre at the moment :(

*hugs Helen* what's up hun?