That's good.

I spy Kahlia *snuggles tight*

I feel so ****. Exhaustion, I think, is a huge contributing factor.

Won't go into details here... it's just frustrating. :'( Stuff with my husband... but at least everything with my bestie is cleared up - she came over this afternoon and we just talked, about this and that and everything. :)

*cuddles Hels* What's up?

*cuddles Kahlia, JK, Oliver, Laura, Hayley, Crimson, Mark, and anyone else I'm forgetting...*

*cuddles April tight*

*cuddles everyone*

April: This, that and everything ... is that like "life, the universe and everything" (the answer of course being 42)? *big hugs*

*gently holds Hels*

*leaves hugs for anyone who walks in and the pats and plays with Puppy SinClair because she misses her poor deceased doggie*

This programme is so sad. Can relate soooo much :'(

*huigs everyone lots*

*hides in corner and cries.. and cries..* I dont want any of this.

*cuddles all*

the concert was interesting, but not in a good way, well I feel really mixed about it, because I was really pleased with my solos, nailed them all and loads of people who had never spoken to me before said they were really beautiful and there were a few others who played amazing solos, but overall it wasn't great, as a whole the band made so many mistakes we have never made before and the conductor wasn't pleased, whic I hate because he is amazing, a really great guy, funny and great to work with and I hate feeling like we have really let him down, but a lot of the new people in the band didn't seem to care, or thought it was ok, but it really wasn't good enough considering its a national wind band. I just hope this afternoons one goes one hell of a lot better, but part of the problem was we only had 45mins between rehearsal and concert, so it was eat food really quick, get changed and on stage so not enough time to get into concert mode and I think some people were still in rehearsal mode, but today we should have longer, so meh in two minds about it, anyway I'm sure you didn't want to hear all that so I'm going to shut up now.

*sits with Laura and offers a tissue* whats up?

Oliver: That happens sometimes. We took out 1st place with (both) the Symphony Orchestra and Concert Band 1 when I was in high school in a National Competition, but I've been in bands (and onstage in shows) where some people just haven't managed to get their heads out of rehearsal mode. Of course, nerves can play a bigger part than people realise ... especially with wind instruments.

*offers everyone hugs*

*cuddles everyone real tight*

Weekends in the ward pretty quiet huh, seems lots of us struggling right now :(

*hopes tomorrow is better than the last couple of days for us all*

*hugs oliver* Im sorry that your concert didn't go as well as you hoped, its annoying when ppl don't seem to care about things as much as you do... Its great that you nailed your solos tho! Good job! And good luck with the next one!

*hugs kahlia* hows it going?

*hugs JK* yeah, ppl are busier on the weekends i think. You okay?

Im off to bed soon considering its 2:30am here. I wish i felt better. At least i've stopped crying i guess so i should be able to fall asleep. My thoughts are just going in circles.

*hugs Laura* I am the opposite all over the place here, busier in the week and a different time zone :(

2.30 is a good effort, off to bed with you young lady. I'm glad you feeling a teensy bit better, get some sleep hun *hugs and tucks in*

*hugs everyone then sinks sadly into a lonely dark hole that only she knows about*

:(

*nods and knows about her own dark hole*

*hugs Kahlia before she heads down said hole*

*Hugs for everyone who needs them and everyone who doesn't too*

Well Done on nailing your solo's Oliver :-)

hey guys, im back :D lol, :/ sorry about my mum banning me from the laptop. it was really unfair! i really cannot be botherd to read through all the other posts. so hows everyone been?

i had a pretty crappy birthday because my sister was stroppy and started arguments with everyone, but i had a really good day yesterday, went shopping with all my birthday money, and sent all £150 of it :/ and then went to a BBQ at my friends house :D and i've only just woke up, so i dont really know how im feeling yet today

I'm sorry your sister was stroppy on your day :(
But
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY !! from me :)

^^I hope you have a great day today :-)

lol, thanks mark *hugs* how're you?

*Hugs Nicole*
I've been worse , I'm definately feeling better than I was last night , It's Noon so I hope my mood doesn't dip like it has been doing . my mind is starting to race though so I'm going to go out put on my headphones and walk to the shops for a Lotto ticket to distract it .

lol, aaw bless, sorry you've not been feeling too good, hope you have a better day today x

*cuddles everyone*

Well done on your solos Oliver, hope today's overall preformance goes better.

Laura, Kahlia, JK & April, I hope you're all feeling a bit better.

Mark, hope you're hanging in there, I seees you!!!

Nicole, sorry you had bit of a bad day for your birthday but yay for monies!!! Have you seen your birthday thread that JK made? :)

*cuddles everyone lots & lots*

*cuddles helen* thanks hun, yeah i commented on it lol. how're you feeling?

*Hugs Helen*
I'm hanging on in there yep , how are you doing ? I seees you too :P

*cuddles Nicole & Mark*

Nicole, glad you've seen it :)
Mark, glad you're hanging in there :D

To answer the same question that you've both asked :P I'm rather hyper for some reason, dreading hitting the low again when it's over. Plus I think I have an infection or something. Joy >_> To top it off, I have to go see my Nan, but this one (lol I see my other nan - mum's mum every week nearly) I don't get on well with. Ho hum!!

lol. being hypers fun! im MAJORLY bored. its nice and sunny and hot, and i cant think of a thing to do!!
lol. maybe you can make the visit to your nan as short as possible??

Oh I intend to, believe me!!! Wooo for sun. It's gone in here >_> Probably will be cold in my outfit now LOL!!!

lol. we have like 2 little wisps of cloud, and thats it!! i'm considering going outside and sunbathing!!

Enjoy if you do & suncreaaam :)

A friend of mine went round yesterday in a low cut top, got burnt boobies & arms hahaha.

lol YAY i feel included! a group of my friends just asked me to go up the abbey with them, so im off out now, see yous all later
*hugs*

*hides in a dark, lonely hole of her own* :(

*Joins April in her hole* You ok? *Hugs*

*hugs everyone*

*cuddles everyone*

I'm really glad I went. Was really good. Think I've finally come up with a cracking plan to get a few issues that have been bugging me (and I've been trying to ignore.) this week. Fingers crossed, I hope I can get it all done this week YAY!!!

*Hugs Lindsay*
*Hugs Helen* That sounds really positive ! :)

No, am not okay.

:'(

*hugs everyone*
april sweetie, whats up?
i had a great time! we got ice cream and sunbathed, then we went to the lake thingy, and it has like a beach bit with sand and stuff, and we went paddling, and there are trees over it, and we were walking across them so we could sit and dangle our feet in the water, and i fell in :/ lol

*cuddles helen, lindsay, april, mark, nicole, JK, kahlia, oliver, and anyone else i'm missing*

Failure.

*cuddles laura* who's a failure hun?

Whats the matter April?

Laura , why a failure?

Nicole it sounds like you had a lot of fun :)

i did :D not having fun now i'm home though :(

aww, why not?

everyones arguing, i want to go to a meet in manchester, but my mum wont let me, she treats me like a child! urgh. it bugs me so much!

I am. A pathetic failure.

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Laura* You are not a failure mate , whats made you think that?

you're not a failure sweetie *hugs*

But i am... b/c I cant seem to figure anything out and i'm not getting anything done that i am supposed to do. And all i can think about is SI and suicide but I don't want to SI anymore, its not like its actually going to help, but if i dont SI the suicide thoughts will get worse... and i need to talk to someone, but my friend is avoiding my message about needing to talk and i hardly talk to anyone else... and its pathetic b/c the only other person i can think to call is my ex and half of all this is his fault anyway...

you're not, really hun.....x

*pokes head out of dark hole*

Laura, honey, there is so much more than SI and SU, but when we're fighting urges the thoughts take over everything else. Keep fighting sweetheart, you've had a big weekend with your Relay for Life, and cos you're physically tired you will be emotionally tired as well ok? When I used to run marathons I would completely fall into a heap of tears at about the 32k mark, the body/mind relationship is a complicated one, be gentle with yourself. *hugs Laura tightly*

April, love, what's happening? Keep talking to us and we'll try and help drag you [gently] out of your hole and keep you safe. *clambers down to cuddle April*

Hugs Kahlia, I know you're still struggling, keep going hun. *hugs gently*

*hugs Mark, Lindsay, Oliver, Helen* hope you're all doing OK, and nice to see things are/were a little bit brighter for you Helen and Mark.

*jumps on Nicole* welcome back sweetheart, I missed you x

I'm undecided as to how I am today, have called in sick to work and will stay in bed for a while and see what the day brings.

Love and strength to you all
x

*prizes JK off her and hugs* hey hun. thanks :D i missed you too xx

*Hugs JK*

lol, thanks Nicole, my first smile for the day
How you Mark? Things still OK for you tonight?