*Hugs Louise*
How are you?

soso, got a really sore knee nearly broke it. hating this snow. how are you

You fell too? erp. Me too, My hip hurts .*Huggles*

hugs, fell down the stairs, slipped

Oh :( Sorry Louise I fell on the ice , It's steep here and I fell but then I fell on a flat bit too :S

that sounds sore, the ice is really slippy and dangerous.

Sounds painful Louise :S

That was fun. Not. I don't even care anymore, I stopped caring long ago.

Whats up Lia? Are you okay? :S

Yeah I'm fine. Like I said I really couldn't care less anymore. I've never really cared, it's always been the norm to be treated like...well like what really? I can't even say '****' because in my opinion, I'm not. This is the complete norm, how I expect it to be. Meh, it'll soon be Christmas.

If you wanna talk Lia , I'll listen *Hugs*

*hugs Lia* I'm suicidal, tired, fed up, ill & worried. How are you?

I tried to enjoy mine. I had spag bol :P My head is sore, but better. *hugs*

*hugs you lots*

Louise, ouch about your knee.

FML. If being suicidal, ill and suffering with a migraine isn't enough. My Mum's been in a right ****ing mood with me today :'( She now thinks I'm cutting again JOY >.< She clearly doesn't trust me and that ****ing hurts. She didn't speak to me throughout the whole of dinner. FML I just need to die now. I'm over everything. I can't do this :'(

I'm listening too, Lia. *hugs*

*Hugs Helen Tons*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Helen* I understand how that feels. My best friend doesn't trust me either and she thinks I'm the Ice Queen the rest of the world believe I am. That hurts. Like hell. So I can understand. If it weren't for the fact that it's December, I'd advise you to go around in shorts and a vest top to prove that you aren't. So that was basically useless information seeing as it is. Now this is just a whole load of pointless jumble. Like me. Please try and distract yourself, do something you enjoy, rock out to Christmas music, just something to take your mind off the thoughts. Don't forget that you've done so well to be free as long as you have and no one, not even your mum, can take that away from you.

And thanks Mark and Felicia, I really do love you guys, but I'm really alright :)

One of my old friends was supposed to be coming to visit tonight but I've convinced him not to come. I've pushed him away. I desperately want people in my life but at the same time i'm scared of them because of social anxiety, and of losing them. I've told him that there's no point in coming to see me, that i'm not who I used to be and that I don't want to see anyone because I just mess up friendships. He still wants to see me though but i've asked him to make it another night because I am distressed by all of this. Losing my only close friend because I told her too much about my mental health problems has made everything worse for me.

I hate myself for being like this, for being me. I'm never going to be comfortable around anyone.

I've got myself into a state and tried to phone the voluntary crisis team but it's ringing out. It's not supposed to do that. If they are out of the office they divert calls to their mobile phone. I don't know what to do

I read two more pages of my game manual , Darn this lack of concentration and motivation but I read them , Thats a start right? I hope the game proves more of a distraction than the manual. Games , isn't this rather pathetic for a 30 year old?

Oh Lindsay Don't do that!:( Please hun , Keep talking to us , You won't be like this for good , Life gets better , it has too , for every single one of us :) . Perhaps seeing your friend one night will lift your mood , even a touch ?

*hugs Mark lots*

Thanks Lia :) Means a lot. What you said wasn't pointless jumble :)

It's not pathetic Mark. I'm 16 and watched cbeebies (a channel of shows desgined for five year olds). I still watch a programme I watched when I was four whenever I am channel hopping and it's on. My best guy friend and I also 'raved' down the street making wooing noises. Seriosly, nothing is ever pathetic classed by age :)

Glad you actually managed to make sense of it Helen :) Are you managing to distract yourself at all?

*Hugs lindsey* I know how you feel (most over used phrase of the day), I am so scared my friends will hate me if I dare to share any of this with them, but Mark's right, maybe he can make you feel better. You don't have to talk about anything heavy, you can just chillax and try and have a good time.

Yeah..at the moment. I'm watching X Factor & talking to my best friend.