April: You brought the biggest smile to my face in on of your posts back there. Pachelbels Canon (sorry about the spelling I'm in a rush as I have to leave to catch a bus soon) is one of my favourite songs of all time. I've played it - on pianoforte I believe - and won with it in the Eisteddfodeau before. It's just so darned beautiful. I'm so envious ... but in a good way. *great big hugs*

Crimson: I wish I was there so I could offer you some help with your IT troubles. That harddrive issue sounds complex. - Sorry, I should explain. My housemate and I do a lot of work with IT. We're both studying it extensively and build a lot of computer systems, both on demand (for students and staff at a local university and TAFE) and for businesses. I'm just sorry I couldn't be there to see if there was something we could help. The situation doesn't sound good. :-( *offers big hugs)

Hels: *cuddles you tightly* Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with those suicidal urges again. Is there anything I can do to help? Feel free to PM me if you wish. I always try to keep up with what is happening with you, even if I am not always able to respond immediately. *gently covers you in warm hugs*

Steph, Felicia, & any other [relatiely] newbies that I have missed entering the ward: I wish to extend to you my welcome, and my introduction. My name is Kahlia - and feel free to use (and misuse) it however you like. I'm sorry for the belated responses to you. *bad me* But I have not been very well mentally for awhile. I hope you find in our lovely Virtual Psych Ward what you need - and what some of us, at least, cannot find in a real psych ward. . . people who understand, can trust and a place where we can open up.

I have to run as I have to catch a bus to go to the hospital for a 6 hour lecture on "What is Pain". *yawn* Already had 2mg of Xanax and starting to freak out again. But, it has to be done.

Wishing you all well, and once more unto the breach as they say.

*leaves cuddles and safe love and care packages on the table for all*

Hmm need to vent sorry not towards anyone here.

I have got not idea what's going on with you, how the hell did it get so messed up. You used to be so bright so full of life, now your Idk I'm worried but at the same time angry at you. Just want you back the same person you used to be , but I know I can't have you back and it kills me as I miss you.So come on B show us u can pull this back around because we all know were this is heading, so for your own sake please pull the back. =(

Sorry double post stuiped laptop. =(

*hugs back*
We got the video card working properly but I just don't see how I manage to keep killing the hard drives so fast... *shrugs* oh well. that fact along with the fact that D will never let me hear the end of it are simply the facts of life. my netbook though so far is a stand up machine. I've written 3 essays on it and am working on a book or two on it plus all the internet playing I do on it and it's up to the challenge so far... :)
*extra hugs for your lecture*

*huggles everyone* How's everyone's day going?

Sales agent still not shown up yet and it's nearly 2 hours after she said they would. Jarrod's gone to do something else and it's such a ****ing WASTE OF TIME since we've spent nearly the whole day cleaning up the apartment a bit to look good. But, that being said, we did go out to lunch & bought Jarrod a (very nice starting) bass guitar. :D I'm so stoked for him, because he's always wanted a bass guitar & now he has one!! :) Not quite my style and a little too big for my hand (almost too big for Jarrod's!!), but at least it's music. :D

Kahlia, glad I could bring a smile to your face. I LOVE Pachelbel's Canon, have played it on violin at numerous weddings, etc. Just LOVE IT. :D It's so pretty. Of course, the cello part is really the boring part (probably the left hand bit on your version of it for piano, at least, that's what it is for mine), but with the cello carrying the melody, it shouldn't be so bad. :) I'm so glad that someone else appreciates it as well. :D *cuddles* Stay strong for the hospital bit, I'm sure you can do it. I know, rubbish advice but... I'll be keeping you in my thoughts/prayers. :)

Hels, I'm worried about you... *gentle cuddles* How are you feeling now?

Mark, maybe don't watch the horror movie if it's very creepy?? *cuddles* How are you doing otherwise?

Lia, how are you doing now, sweet? Hopefully a bit better... As far as comforting things go, how about a children's book? like Winnie the Pooh or Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (if you've not heard of her & like children's books, you MUST MUST MUST look her up!!!!)... or maybe play some music that calms you down, or drink some chamomile tea with honey whilst reading a fun (NOT creepy :P) book. *gentle hugs* If you need to talk, I'm here. I think I know what upset you and I'm sorry about that - maybe stop watching that show for awhile?? just a thought...

Anyway. I'm trying to eat supper but it's not working too well... guhhh. :(

So warm. It's freaking hot outside today... glad when we went for lunch/guitar purchasing we took my car (J's car doesn't have functioning a/c but mine does!! :P)... although I drove at first then started feeling like I wasn't connected to parts of my body. Like my head was floating. Not lightheaded like dizzy-lightheaded, just... I don't know. It was REALLY weird. So I pulled over and let Jarrod drive the rest of the way... am such a wuss. :-/

*huggles and cuddles to all she's not mentioned*

*hugs everyone before hiding away*

*cuddles Laura* What's up, sweetie?

*spies Steph and gently glomps her* :) How are you doing now? any better than earlier?

shadowed soul - hope you feel a bit better after getting that off your chest, obviously i dont know whats gone on, but it is hard when someone leaves, i know that one.
scarlet dreamer - hope they turn up at some point, really annoying when they say a time and its hours later.
i dont feel as if i a really here atm, dont know what is happening... just feel... weird... need to eat something proper, but feel so sick. sometimes i wonder, would anyone notice if i wasnt here? i know thats not good, but that is the way i am feeling. i am so alone, everyone that means something are so may miles away. i know i sound pathetic, im sorry. think i just need a brain transplant, and maybe a heart, so that i wouldnt love the people i shouldnt. well i've moaned enough, apologies,
steph
xxx
xx
x
ps *gives ot plenty of love to those who want it*

I keep sitting here trying to type out what is going on... I tried in my r/v too, thinking that I would be able to feel less restrained.... but my internal censor that is always on won't let me. Sorry if I am worried anyone. I'll be okay. I always am.

fallinstar0317 - its ok, we all get like that from time to time. just remember we are here when you are ready to talk. *snuggles*
steph
xxx
xx
x

*cuddles Laura* maybe try writing out typing it somewhere no one will see... might get it off your chest and make you feel a wee bit better...

*hugs Crimson* keep going, you can fight the urges, we're all here for you.

*sits and waits with Crimson and offers her hugs* How are you?

*spies wishes* I don't recall ever meeting you. Hi, I'm Taz :)

Sorry for no other individual replies. 18 pages since I left is quite a bit to reply to :P But I did read them all! (At the rate of about a page per 10 minutes... kept getting distracted ><)

*runs off to update r/v*
*leaves extra special hugs on the table*

DAMNIT I am so pissed off. And it's about something petty... :crying:

Sorry. I shouldn't post that. I'm okay, always am, always will be. No one worry about me please. :)

*hugs April* whats happened? if it has pissed you off then it isn't petty.

*hugs Taz* how are you doing?

*hugs all* I shall do a proper reply when I am back at home and have time.

*hugs everyone*
I will come back and read when I am not so tired... Rehearsal has drained me.

*hugs oliver* Hope your day is going alright.

*hugs april* i'm sure it wasn't petty hun. What happened?

*hugs taz* its okay, 18 pages is a ton to catch up on! Good to see you around though.

*hugs steph* how r u feeling now?

*hugs crimson* you can fight those urges. keep trying hun.

*hugs jill* hope that the venting helped. We are always here to listen.

*hugs kahlia* can i just say that I am super proud of you for getting out and still do things while you are struggling so much with anxiety. It really is awesome of you. Hope the class at the hospital goes okay.

*hugs felicia* Hope that the rehearsal went okay, sorry you are so tired.

I spy a jess! *hugs*

*sets out box of hugs for helen, mark, lia, and everyone else not around right now*

Wanted to get some individual replies in there before hiding away again.

The friend that I am always saying is going to come over to talk, came over tonight. He looked more concerned than need be. I'm not important. Ive lived a half life for the past 4 1/2 years and it has made me shrink more and more everyday. And when i leave town, I won't be scared to leave. But I am scared that I won't be sorry at all.

*hides*

*hugs Laura*

*hugs April* Like Oliver said... you wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't important. What's on your mind? And sometimes it's the petty things that make everything worse...

*hugs Oliver* I'm... okay at the moment. Just about ready to head off to bed. How have you been?

*hugs Felicia* Probably a stupid question, but rehearsal for what? :)

*hugs Laura* Is it a good thing he finally came over to talk? You are infinitely important <33

*hugs Jess* How are you?