*cuddles MammaMia* Thankyou for the words of encouragement

I need to get away from my tools , I need a walk , screw that I'm off to bed , sorry

Look after yourself Mark. Hope you're ok.

*cries and curls up*

*cuddles everyone*

My birthday
*sniggers*

happy birthday mammamia, hope you have a good one. huggles

*creeps in on kitten paws, finds a pile of pillows and hides*
hi say this place & thought it would be nice to hide for a while.

woo im drunk again :) yayayays. makes everything aaaaall beettteer.

*cuddles everyone*

Happy Birthday Helen! :-)

Hope everyone is alright... Sorry i'm not very active atm.. this is the first time ive signed in in almost 2 weeks. I've been thinking about all of you though.

Happy birthday, Hels!! *cuddles gently* I hope that it's a good day. :) Why are/were you apprehensive about turning 20?

Mark, I'm sorry that you feel so shitty. :( *cuddles* Stay strong... I know you can. Don't do anything "stupid" and keep fighting... easier said than done, oh how I know this!! but you can and will manage it. Maybe listen to this and put male adjectives in where it says "she/her"? (I played that song for my therapist & she actually said that that song is now her "theme song" - so maybe it can be yours?) *cuddles & rocks gently*

LauraStar, how are YOU?? Have missed seeing you around. ♥

Sorry didn't reply to all of the posts... oh, and welcome, Gypsie. :) This is usually a pretty supportive place, so come on in & join us!! The denial tent is over there *points* and there's even a mascot for the ward, Puppy SinClair. :)

Have not been doing great... want to purge so ****ing badly, want to die, want to cut sooo much. :crying: I hate my life. I don't know what to do about it either... :(

*hides in the denial tent*

Thanx everyone for being so kind.
April thankyou SO MUCH for the song ,it helped , it's kind of motivational :)
Happy birthday Mammamia I hope you have a nice day :)

*hugs all round*

Thanks to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday, got to go ready (again!) to go to the cinema :D

*sends big squishy cuddles for you all* Try keep safe people

I'm gonna have a SUPER early night , sleep is where I'll be safe , night everyone.
*Mammamia what film did you go to at the cinema?

happy birthday helen :) hope whatever film you go and see is good.

one of my friends who i've known for 3 years just came and told me something massive. we've currently got mental health awareness week at college and they've been asking for peoples personal experiences and she decided she wanted to send one in. and i didn't know. and now i feel **** because what she went through was massive and she got through it and i haven't been through anything like that bad and i feel crap and i don't know how i'm gonna get through it. i just feel a whole lot worse now. i wanna die.
:'( *curls up in the corner*

AND I KEEP USING THE ****ING WORD "I". WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!

*hugs everyone tightly*

It has been the weirdest couple of days. My housemate managed to crash my computer ... and when he did it seems that all my data that was housed in non-original folders was lost. It's going to take me ages to get everything back. :( But on the plus side my new TV Tuner card works perfectly on my windows partition, the 2 TB hard drive is installed and working nicely, and so on and so forth.

Anyway today I had a meeting with a tdoc. I really don't think he's going to work for me, but I'll give him a couple of sessions. There's some negative factors there like when I told him where my father had worked for most of my life he said "oh that must be x" ... and it turned out that he'd worked for the same employer but in another city. That might not sound like much, but I've found in the past that a therapist who knows anyone in my family is going to find barriers created between me and them.

On the good side however, he has put in place some caveats, ie. if I tell him "no" or "I don't want to talk about it" he'll respect that. Which is kind of okay, but I'm still a little iffy. I mean ... I don't know. He kept telling me that I had a problem with anger and stuff that I don't have a problem with.

*sigh* I just don't know ...

*leaves behind loads of cuddles and some cupcakes sprinkles with 100s and 1000s (or sprinkles if you prefer them)*

*Finds the darkest, quietest corner in the smoking room, and breaths deeply*

Since I don't remember if I said this already... Happy birthday Helen!
I like the song April. :) Adding it to my Ipod tonight.
*huggles everyone*
sorry for not replying to everyone but I'm just not up for reading all the new posts.

*Pokes head in*
Can I sleep here tonight ? I'll be quiet and bring my own duvet :)

I seem to be sleeping early a lot lately .....

Sure Mark. I am too. *huggles for all*

*huggles everyone then backs into a dark corner to rock, cry and hopefully disappear*