RYL Forums

RYL Forums (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/index.php)
-   Veterans Board (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 17-07-2010 03:19 PM

what makes you say that? (name reminder please, and yes I do this everytime!)

shadowedsoul 17-07-2010 05:03 PM

Hmm names Jill. Sorry i didnt explain that very well.Everybody seams to be picking a fight with this one member of staff today. So I'm sort of staying out of the way as it looks like it's going to kick off. Would feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a bit*h.

one_step_closer 17-07-2010 07:19 PM

I can't do this any more. I hope the three men succeed in killing me.

shadowedsoul 17-07-2010 07:36 PM

One step closer are you okay Hun? Big bear hugs if it's okay.

Doikers 17-07-2010 07:40 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Oh , Don't say that Lindsay, Just hang on it will get better , it will.

nicole94 17-07-2010 08:24 PM

*hugs everyone*
this is so confusing :(

Doikers 17-07-2010 08:46 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Whats confusing Nicole?

nicole94 17-07-2010 08:50 PM

BPD i know what it is now and stuff, but i still dont fully understand, and my head is just rejecting it! im sat here reading up on it, all the symptoms and stuff, and one part of mes going 'omg, thats so like me, thank god im not just a freak' then another, stronger part is going 'thats not you at all, tell them to shut up, you should go self harm, thatll show them!' and im so confused! im not sure im strong enough to fight the second part. :(

Doikers 17-07-2010 08:52 PM

Please try not to S.I. Nicole , no wonder you're confused it's enough to trigger anyone *Hugs*

nicole94 17-07-2010 08:58 PM

*hugs mark* im trying, i just hate myself so much right now. im scared to go back in the borderline personality disorder thread because they shouted at me :( i just dont know what to do. i knew i wouldnt be able to handle 2 weeks without group, roll on wednesday :(

Doikers 17-07-2010 09:09 PM

Hmm They shoulden't have yelled . I hope Wednesday comes swiftly for you and even if you hate yourself know that we here like you :)

nicole94 17-07-2010 09:13 PM

thankyou *hugs* they yelled because i asked them to explain it to me but i dont understand! i need to know from someone else whos experienced it. :(

Doikers 17-07-2010 09:31 PM

I wish I could help Nicole :S I hope you get some answers soon *Hug*

nicole94 17-07-2010 09:37 PM

thankyou. *hugs* i think i might try and talk to louisa at group on weds, theres loads of us but shes the only one with no friends who lets her anxiety show, and noone really talks to her because shes so paraniod, but i am too and i just hide it better, and i think i should talk to her, but have you got any ideas how i can start up a conversation with her?

katnovia 17-07-2010 09:51 PM

*hides in corner shaking* - if anyone's around later could they take at look at my post please, I really need some help and no-one's responding. thanks. http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...d.php?t=141715

MrsCoulter 17-07-2010 10:50 PM

Thanks for the hugs. I am feeling a little better now - Although I did cut some more tonigth and almost fell apart on the bus ride home from my nans but going to go to bed soon and just cry or sleep - depending on how I feel and hopefully will wake up a bit better. *hugs to everyone*

KatNovia- just gonna head over and reply :)

I'mJustMe 17-07-2010 10:58 PM

They were slighly harsh Nicole, which is why I kinda stuck my ore in there. Useless at sticking up for myself mind. It was just the one person mind, ignore them, like you and I both said, you needed someone who had had experience with it so that's why you went there. Try not to give into those urges you have no reason to hate yourself, you have a mental disorder and that's not your fault. *Hugs*

*Sits near Kat but doesn't touch* Kat? What's the matter?

xx

I'mJustMe 17-07-2010 10:58 PM

Spies newcomer Vicki. How are you today sweet? I'm Lia.

x

Scarletdreamer 17-07-2010 11:09 PM

So anxious. Anxiety, how I hate you!!!!

Rooted (worship night) tonight. Then church tomorrow. I'm scared. :-S

Anxious anxious anxious.................... :'(

I spy Felicia, Lia, and Oliver!! *glomps all* Hehe...

Scarletdreamer 17-07-2010 11:10 PM

Oh & Kat, I took a look at your thread... sweetie, I'm sorry you're feeling this way & I will keep you in my prayers... I think that is about the only thing that I can really do, no advice to really offer as I have no experience with alters. Although I would say that going for an assessment might be wise? but I don't know for sure. *gentle hugs if okay*

SoMuchMore 17-07-2010 11:19 PM

*cuddles april* since I spy you.

Scarletdreamer 17-07-2010 11:25 PM

*cuddles Laura back* How are you, sweetie? haven't been posting much lately (although admittedly I'm one to talk :o)...

Now I spy no one... it's lonely in here. *curls up in corner with a book and her journal* :(

SoMuchMore 17-07-2010 11:27 PM

i'm still here.. just lurking about the site.

I know i haven't been posting much.. feeling kind of weird so *shrug*
I'm sorry you've been so anxious lately hun. I hate anxiety.

I'mJustMe 17-07-2010 11:34 PM

I'm here too. How are you Laura?

*Hugs April. How are things other than your anxiety? Sorry you're feeling like that right now, but with no real experiance of it, I don't know what else to say. Although I have been getting more and more scared lately and I don't know why. Or more I do, but it can't be right but if it's not then I really don't know why I'm scared if I'm so sure it's rubbish. Sorry, making no sense. I'll shut up.

x

Scarletdreamer 17-07-2010 11:39 PM

Hmm, Laura, feeling weird - how so? (if you care to try to explain - if not, that's okay too) *cuddles gently* We've missed you, if that means anything. :)

Lia, I'm sorry to hear that you've been scared lately. I kind of understand what you mean but don't really have any advice to offer. Am rather low on the advice lately, which is why I haven't been posting I think... kind of rung out and tired. :(

I'm okay other than the anxiety. But anxiety is almost "all-consuming" so it's really hard to tell. I've been having a lot of nightmares lately and they've all centered around people wanting to kill me - or they are just plain WEIRD, like last night's. But anyway. Ummm... *tries to think of more to say* I just got my bloodwork done yesterday, and I see my NP on Tuesday, and I'm effing worried about tomorrow (see a few posts back in my r/v if you haven't already :-X)... :'(

In other news, Kristin Hannah is an AMAZING author. I think I'm in love with her books now. :) I just finished Between Sisters and it was a spectacular novel, one that I highly recommend. :D

I'm worried about Rooted tonight because my bestie won't be there and I have trouble socializing in the half hour to an hour that we have to socialize. :-X

Okay, I'll shut up now... :(

SoMuchMore 17-07-2010 11:46 PM

*hugs april* I get nervous about socializing too. :-/
Hope that your bloodwork turns out okay.. and good luck with your NP. I understand about anxiety being almost all consuming. That's how i've been the past few hours b/c of something I have to do tonight.

*hugs lia* I'm sorry that you've been feeling scared lately. I wish i had some advice on that..

I Just feel weird in general. Probably partially due to the dinner I have to go to night... I have to "break up" with this guy, even though we aren't together... I've never been on the side where I am the one to tell someone that I don't want to date them anymore. Its always just kinda flamed out or as with my ex, i got majorly hurt. But I also keep going up and down with other emotions and SI stuff and i'm just tired of it. And sometimes i just generally think I am invisible to everyone.

I'mJustMe 17-07-2010 11:49 PM

You're not invisible to us Laura :)

And no one worry about lack of advice, I've not exactly explained myself.

x

Scarletdreamer 17-07-2010 11:57 PM

Ugh ugh ugh, so very anxious... it doesn't help that I've gone down to half dosage on Klonopin & I have no idea when I'll be able to get it filled next. :-S

Anyway.

Laura, sweet, you're not invisible to us, no matter what it feels like. Okay? *cuddles gently* I hope that tonight goes well for ALL of us... I wish I had more advice or help to offer than that... just know that I'm here & listening. PM if you need, I'm here. Won't be around for much longer this evening as will be leaving in a bit but I will be back on tomorrow morning (& hopefully not TOO early :-X but with Jarrod setting his alarm & me not being used to it, it may be quite early!! hah)...

Oh and for those who get anxious - do you tend to get really warm when you're really anxious? because right now I am literally radiating heat - at least, my face is, and it really sucks because it's quite uncomfortable. :( I don't know what to do about it either...

Anyway. *cuddles all who want them & waves at those who don't* :)

SoMuchMore 18-07-2010 12:01 AM

*hugs lia and april* <3 both of you. thanks.

And april - yes, my face gets extremely hot sometimes. Its horrible. And i know its really bad when my hands are just normal temperature but they feel like ice on my face.

I'mJustMe 18-07-2010 12:07 AM

OK, I'm getting anxious now. Maybe it's catching. I wish i could explain to you guys, but it's too scary.

*Hugs April* Hope you can get a good night's sleep sweet. Oh, and I'm not warm at this current moment in time, no more than usual.

x

I'mJustMe 18-07-2010 12:16 AM

Also hugs Laura* Sorry, I didn't see your post. *More cuddles*

x

SoMuchMore 18-07-2010 12:32 AM

*hugs lia* its okay that you can't explain.. but if you ever want to, we are here, or my PM box is always open.

I'mJustMe 18-07-2010 12:34 AM

*smiles gently* thanks Laura. I know I can rely on people here, but it's scary and stupid anyway. Of course I'm being paranoid.

xx

frenchhorn 18-07-2010 01:35 AM

*hugs all*

god I'm feeling really suicidal at the moment, not fun, just brokedown and told my bf about it, he knws my very detailed suicide plan, and knows its ultimetly what I want, even if its not a suicide act and that scares him, but I shouldn't be breaking down right now, because he needs me.

ok also an update for those who asked me to update from what I posted last night.

We left in the morning, after much screaming from Alex's father, got on the bus to his friends. We got of half way there, then he got a text from his dad saying he would like us to come home and he was being nice ish, so we went home and his dad was being ok, we ate togehter and then went for a walk the 3 of us. Alex's dad was being nice and joking like he used to which was good, we then cooked tea and ate it with him.
They havn't had a chat yet, but I think he needs to give him space and time and he will talk about it when he wants to, also its a bit awkward with me here.
Also he got a good respnse from his mum, being nice, think that is part of the reason his dad is trying and asked us to come back.
So its better, his dad is driving him to orchestra next week and will financially support him, so we are both feeling better about it.
I just feel so bad I am suddenly falling into suicidal depressed episode, need to stay strong for him

I'm sorry for the lack of indiviual replies, will do when up to it.

Kahlia1981 18-07-2010 02:23 AM

*huggles/waves at all*

Sorry I've been so quiet. I've sort of snuck in and read but left before writing.
Just not feeling crash hot - getting worse again. Freaking out lots.
Went down the beach with my housemate yesterday - with the help of 4mg of Xanax, and chewing gum. *sigh*

So.damn.over.it.all.

Scarletdreamer 18-07-2010 04:25 AM

Gahhh, it's nearly 11:30pm here and I'm not in bed yet, gonna be sorry for it tomorrow I'm afraid!!

*sigh* Rooted was okay, I don't know, didn't really get much spiritually out of it. Then Jarrod talked with me about how he's been feeling and it's kind of a catch-22 that I don't know how to fix. I feel so useless when it comes to that. And he told me that frankly, my "empathy isn't good."

That's not good when you're speaking to a future therapist. :-S I'm scared/worried now... :'(

*hides in a hole, deep & dark & far away from anyone she might hurt*

hope.is.overrated 18-07-2010 04:50 AM

I can't take it anymore...the loneliness and emptyness are killing me, little by little, which makes things even worse...it's neverending...all I need is a human contact, that's all :(

misskitty112 18-07-2010 07:38 AM

Triggered tonight.... Can't keep up with anything.

xxjuliexx 18-07-2010 09:18 AM

*sits* to many posts to read right now sorry
*sets out jars and boxes of hugs*

Doikers 18-07-2010 10:53 AM

*Group hugs*

April, Good luck today at Church :)

Oliver , It's good that Alex's Dad seems to be coming around , maybe he just needed a little bit of time.

Laura , Good luck breaking up with that person , I hope neither of you is too hurt by it .

April , Laura and Lia , I hope your anxiety doesen't / Didn't get too bad

Doikers 18-07-2010 11:09 AM

I'm lonely, not just because I live alone , have only 2 friends IRL only one I meet with on a semi regular basis . It just seems that everyone is coupled off , I mean I visited my Parents and theys have each other and my sister and Bro in law were there and they have each other and I found out when I ran into an old catering college friend that she was STILL with her BF after 12 years (And baby) and 2 other college people I knew were Married / involved . I'm alone . My Nurse is referring me to a befriending service for people with serious mental health issues ( Not sure I qualify but hey ) and I am so nervous about it , she is coming with me though which is super nice of her .

Does this make me jealous ? or just petty? I'm also acutley aware that my online Lil Sis April is Married and Hayley and Crimson and Oliver , all in couples hmmm I think it does make me jeolous , sorry .

Scarletdreamer 18-07-2010 12:01 PM

No sorries, Mark, you're allowed to express how you feel. *gentle cuddles* I am sorry that you feel that way, though - I remember when I was single etc. and I hated seeing people in couples. I wish I could do something to make it better, in any way/shape/form possible. :( Don't have any more advice though, but I hope that me talking about Jarrod etc. doesn't make you upset... if it does, I'll try to stop, at least some of it. *extra special hugs*

It's all alone in here again. And I'm exhausted, even though I just woke up a bit ago. :( Stupid not sleeping well!! I had weird dreams again...

*hides in a hole & pretends that it all doesn't matter*

Doikers 18-07-2010 12:49 PM

Hey April *Spots* You talking about Jarrod and you doesn't bother me , being alone bothers me , You don't have to stop speaking about you guys *Hugs*

*Spots and Hugs Tineke*

wolfos3d 18-07-2010 01:16 PM

*waves at peoples* hi.

katnovia 18-07-2010 01:35 PM

Pomeranian: thank you for doing that, really sweet.


Lia: I'm terrified. I cant cope. It's all going so wrong *cries*


april: thank you for your prayers sweetie, I apprieciate them. I'll talk to the consultant tuesday..even though i'm petrified of doing so incase I loose Hazel. *stores hugs in a pretty bag for later as not feeling right just now*

Mark: it doesn't make you jealous or petty, just normal.


*curls up in a tight ball and continues to shake and cry*

I'mJustMe 18-07-2010 01:47 PM

Hey Guys. I've not been doing as much replying lately and I'm sorry about that. I am going to do one of my replies of epic proportions now.

April- I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and your anxiety didn't go into overdrive or make you do anything stupid. How are you doing having given up the blades? Remeber it was a huge step, and you're bound to have urges and want them back. I've tried to give up my blades on more than one occasion and know how lost you can feel without them. Persoanally, I don't think there is anything wrong with your ability to emphathise. You've been in so many situations yourself, and it can be hard to think of something to say on the spot. It's ok for me behind a screen because I can think about answers. I don't often have to, but I do sometimes pause and think, or say I don't have a lot of advice. Not everyone can relate to every situation and there will be times you have no idea how to help. The main thing is you'll listen and at least try to be of some help. I'm sorry you're not sleeping well either. I had weird dreams last night too, but they weren't scary. They should have been, but they weren't. Maybe you could try sleeping pills or something? Reading something nice before bed can also help. Something childish. Like Winnie the Pooh, it may sound stupid, but I do sometimes when I'm scared or depressed. It can make you feel better and it's hard to have nightmares when Tigger and Roo are bouncing around in your head. I have rambled for like, ever. I should stop now and move on, but I found I had a lot to say. And one more thing, you can post here whenever and whatever you like. If Mark's cool with you talking about Jerrod, carry on. We're all her for support, not to restrict you in what you can and can't say.

Laura- I know you were anxious and having difficultly last night. How are you now? Did you manage to sleep alright? I hope you had an ok night and didn't give into any urges you might have had. You're not here right now, but you're in my thoughts.

Oliver- It's great that Alex's dad is being nicer and seeminly more accepting. It is a hard thing to accept about those you are close to, particuarly when you had no idea before hand. Some parents think they should have seen it and almost feel as if they 'failed' although there is absolutly nothing wrong with being gay. I'm gay. I know my mum wouldn't accept it either. She's told me should wouldn't want 'someone like that' in the family. Anyway, you have as much right to struggle as everyone else and don't have to push that down because Alex is too. Yes, you can support him as much as he needs it, but I know he would much rather you told him how you were feeling than followed throught with urges. You are also always welcome on here, no one's ever going to tell you you're being stupid or don't deserve the support because we all do.

Kahlia- However hard it was, and however much help you needed, the point is you did it. You went to the beach and managed not to freak out too much and that is a really big step. You need to stop beating youself up about being afriad. I'm going to have a cheesy moment now, but that is what makes courage. If you're not afraid, then it's not brave. It's only brave if you're scared because you go ahead and do it anyway, which shows strength far more than fearing nothing. If someone was scared of spiders, it would be brave of them to get rid of a massive hairy one in thier bedroom, much more so than it would be of someone who didn't mind them to do it. *Hugs*

Michelle-. Don't give up. No matter how hard it might seem, there's always something worth living for. I can't be there with you in person, but I can in cyberspace and you can always come here or PM me and I would be happy to reply and be there for you however I could. I know what it's like to be so lonely you feel no one would care if you were to just end it all and that is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. You're not alone though, all of us here and on RYL in general are all here for you and you can always vent here. Someone will always be around for support. *Extra hard hugs and hands teddy bear so you don't feel so alone*.

Felica- I hope you managed to resit the urges. There's no shame in having them, or even giving into them. We all here know how that feels. Do you know what it was that triggered you? It can help to get that out and be useful in resisting the urges. *Hugs gently*

Hey Juile, how you doing? I hope things are alright your end of cyber space. Don't worry about lack of replies, this is my first proper reply in ages.

Mark- You can always post how you feel here and nothing that makes you feel bad is petty. I know you feel lonely, but perhaps you'll be able to meet someone on this service thing. You have us on here in the meantime and maybe you could call the friends you do have and ask them if they wanna meet up. Make them come over and do whatever it is guys do if you're not up to going out. Either way, it has to beat being at home and lonely struggling to resist urges. *Hugs*

Oh, well that's everyone. Eveyone that posted today anyhow.

*Hugs to all others who want them*

Love you guys.

xx

I'mJustMe 18-07-2010 01:49 PM

Oh hello Kat and Jess, only read your posts after I posted my reply.

Kat- What's the matter? I know how it feels right now, but you can cope. You can get through this, you're much stronger than you think. What is it that made you feel this way? It may help to get it off your chest and no one here is going to judge you. Is touching ok? If not, I'll just hand you an imaginary cyberspace tissue.

*Waves back at Jess* Hey. How are you today sweet?

xx

shadowedsoul 18-07-2010 03:19 PM

Curls up, today is going from bad to worse why the hell did I give a guy from work my number. Stuiped really stuiped =(

Doikers 18-07-2010 03:43 PM

*Waves back at Jessica* :) How are you doing?

*Hugs Lia* Wowsers EPIC reply .

*Hugs Jill* whats going on Jill ?

*Hugs Kat* Good luck at the Dr on Tuesday :)

shadowedsoul 18-07-2010 05:18 PM

Hmm gave a guy at work my phone number keep getting very weird txt messages, making me feel very uncomfortable. My own fault tho. =(


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:31 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.