my ryl twin i hope work is okay honey
look after yourself
i am sorry that therapy was awk with him misunderstanding what you meant
i really think it would be helpful to you/worthwhile to talk about the uncomfortable emotional stuff and explain that you meant it would be hard when his internship was over
did you tell him about the meds? if you wont take them pls pls tell him or the meds doc that you have gone off them honey
and dont drink too much wine :-P

Helen honey that isnt the answer and i know you know it
good luck on the exam
if you fail though, i am sure there are ways to still make things work. if you want to go out more, maybe this summer when exams are over you can change things and go out more often than you do now? call some ppl, make plans and stuff!

Emma how are you doing love? what's going on?

Carole honey i hope you are ok and be safe
Alexx and Amanda how are you guys?

Chloe where are youuuu? how are ya?

Jeremy how are you doing hun?

Emma sweetie calm down
i dont know about everybody else but we notice and we care, even if we are far apart. did something happen? please, if you are really upset, which umm yeah i guess it is clear you are, call a friend or your doc or a crisis line or something but just talk to somebody and don't be alone right now.
what does canes mean? your wrist canes? is that a british word?

*tucks a blanket around Emma* Sweetie, I wish I could fix this for you... Please stay safe luv.

Starting on my first bottle of wine if anyone cares...

Ah, and no Callie, I didn't tell him I stopped taking my meds... And I don't see the doc for another week and a half... And probably won't tell him either *shrug*

I ****ing suck

*returns to her alcohol*

be careful Alyssa, okies? take it easy with the wine
i know i can't make you do what you dont want to do but you really should tell them you arent on your meds anymore. esp your psychiatrist. they are there to help you and to do that to the best of their ability, to get the help you deserve, they need to know what is going on hun.
be safeeeeeeeeeee
Emma and Helen and Carole and everybody hope you are all well

Tis ok Callie... I'm so damn pathetic I can't even make myself drink this awful **** away:crying: ****it****it****it
I just want to go to sleep and not wake up...

Alonealonealonealonealonealone

Will I be able to stay safe until our next session..? Well let's see, since it's not for another 10 days... That's a long time to promise... He seemed to be keen on my going in sooner (Wednesday or Thursday) but I've got lecture during the times he has open... And I think those are his 'crises' times, why should I take one of those times up? And why do I want to go in 'early' after this afternoons awful session?

And who in the hell am I talking to, seeing as how there's no one here (damn time difference)... Don't suppose it matters one way or the other...

*curls up in her corner with her blanket and stuffed sheep and stares ahead, vacantly*

You Called daughter dear?

Ally and Alexx both, stay away from the booze if you really want to lose weight. Carbs and protien have 4 calories per gram. Fat has 9 calories per gram. Alcohol has 7 calories per gram. Gatorade has 80 calories per 8 ounce serving.

I have not yet begun to pack and we are leaving in 10 hours. The alarm goes off in 7 hours. I've been worrying about how many pairs of pants compared to shorts to pack.

Hugs all around!

I hope your trip gets off to a good start, Mother Susan (lol sounds like a nun ;-)).

I didn't get much drank... A virtually empty stomach does not appreciate a glass of wine:pinch:

I am still up. It is now 6.21am and I am awake having not gone to bed. I have virtually sobered up now. *hugs everyone that needs them* Wish me luck for the a+e trip ahead. xxxx

Oh Emma *snuggles* what happened luv?

I happened lol, hence hospital trip. Reason I have not been to bed is that my flatmates all got back from a night out and then one of them knocked on my door wanting to talk. Apparently he is struggling with not dropping out, guilt about breaking up with his girlfriend and has been tempted to restart SIing (he only did it a few times when younger) and just wanted to talk. So now it is 6.30 am and I am still up lol.

How are you hun? xxxx

*massive hugs* I'm sorry it is such that it requires A&E hun. It was good you were able to be there for your friend but unfortunate you were unable to get any rest.

Me? *shrug* I don't know. I'd like to cut again but at the same time don't have the will... I couldn't even drink myself into a stupor (partly because my poor mostly-empty stomach didn't want alcohol)... Damn it, I'm just defeated...

*hugs you* I am glad you didn't cut hun but please have something to eat. If nothing else then it may increase your energy levels. Could you maybe just get some sleep so you aren't stuck thinking about everything? xx

Oh no, I cut, I just haven't done it again (since the one right after the session from hell). I have eaten a bit, still feeling gross, and am going to bed in a few minutes...

So how's the damage over there? Enough for A&E, you must have done quite a job there luv *snuggles* hope all goes well with A&E

thanks hun, it's not too bad. It may be sterstrip-able. Going to go to sleep for a few hours and see what its like when i wake up. If I can close it nyself then won't be going to a+e *hugs* n'night hun xxx

Sleep well dear, and I hope you can avoide A&E *hugs*

G'night

I'm okies callie i think hmm...not really too certain coz i really don't know how i feel i guess. Oh well, i'll survive :-)

How is everybody else? Alexx? Emma? Helen? Callie? Ally? Hana? Anybody else i missed i'm sorry...but hope ur well there xxx

*cuddles every1*

I'm not too bad this morning. Just as long as I don't think about anything, I'll be fine. I so very nearly cut last night, but instead I just beat things up.
I don't think I'm safe to cut anymore though. Once I start, I can't guarantee I'm going to stop, and the thought of that last night scared me more than anything else put together.

*hugs for everyone* How you going guys?

Hi all
*cuddles Ally and Emma and every one else who needs it.*

My husband is loading up as I type. We've misplaced my digital camera but we have his and the cord to download stuff. Philip checked and told me the weather was going to be surprisingly cool for May for the desert that we'll be crossing. So for a rare change, I'm in long pants today! I hope I can sleep as we cross the desert. The part we'll cross today is kind of bleak. Then once we cross the Colorado River we'll get off the interstate and onto Route 66. We're doing it backwards and not a lot of it but I haven't seen it in 20 years.

Tonight I'll see if I can start a travel log. I don't know about photos though.

Hugs all around. Hope everyone feels better!