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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 10:19 PM

*hugs Nicole* Thanks, hon. It's okay. I don't need/deserve a reply anyway, but sweet of you to do so. :)

Updated r/v with more details about above post, if anyone cares enough to read it... :-X

nicole94 31-07-2010 10:22 PM

*hugs april* of course you deserve a reply sweetie, especially if you are struggling. im just sorry it wasnt a better one.

Doikers 31-07-2010 10:25 PM

*Hugs April* You are NOT Fat or Lazy!!
And ,
Theres nothing wrong with being the black sheep , my whole family are acheivers and I'm just depressed and on benefits so I'm a black sheep too , All us best people are :)

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 10:28 PM

*cuddles Mark & Nicole* Thanks for the reassurances... I'm just in a bad place mentally right now and have no idea what to do about it. Not like I can cut - and believe it or not, but I still don't really want to.

*hides in a hole*

FlyingNy 31-07-2010 10:39 PM

It's really good you don't have many urges to cut April and you do deserve a reply. You are neither fat nor lazy, and who cares if you are? Laziness saved me on camp, it was the main reason I didn't cut myself because it would have meant getting out of my sleeping bag and finding my blades and I was warm and cosy. Laziness isn't always bad. *Hugs*

x

nicole94 31-07-2010 10:41 PM

urgh. is it wrong that i feel like this?
my friend who i met in hospital has just told me shes stopped self harming and is feeling really great. and i should feel happy for her, but i just feel jealous. shes fine whilst im stuck in this hole and cant get out. i almost hate her for it :(

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 10:43 PM

*hugs Lia* But don't you see, in my case, laziness is bad. I'm so glad that it stopped you from cutting; that's wonderful... but not keeping my/our apartment clean... when I'm not working or on an internship or anything else right now... even Jarrod asked me the other day how I could NOT see that it was kind of my job to work at at least some of the household chores whilst he was away at working as I'm not otherwise occupied right now...........

:crying:

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 10:44 PM

Nicole, that's not wrong of you, at least in my book. I'd be jealous of her too if I were in your position... *hugs* But you'll get there one day, hopefully soonish, and will be okay, and will understand what it's like. :)

Doikers 31-07-2010 10:47 PM

Awwh Nicole , it's natural to feel jealous in that situation , I know you want to be S.I. free so badly , we all do, that it's hard to feel good for others when they succeed . You WILL get through this and it's good to have a friend IRL who knows S.I. from a first perspective who can help you through it .

I hope that makes sense :S

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 10:48 PM

Made sense to me, Mark. *huggles* How are you doing?? Haven't spoken much about yourself for a bit, just wondering if you're okay? *curls up next to*

nicole94 31-07-2010 10:52 PM

*hugs april and mark* thanks guys, i just feel like i should be happy for her, and im confused that i'm not :(

Scarletdreamer 31-07-2010 11:33 PM

So freaking anxious. No reason to be, just am. And I'm probably annoying Jarrod with it too. :(

*hides in a hole again* :'(

Scarletdreamer 01-08-2010 12:19 AM

Updated r/v again.

:crying:

MammaMia 01-08-2010 12:33 AM

*hides somewhere and prays it stops*

misskitty112 01-08-2010 12:55 AM

*hugs April* I'll read your r/v thread after I post this. I'm sorry you're having anxiety.
*cuddles everyone* I had every intention of doing tons of individuals, but my brain just won't let me.

So... In about an hour, I'm heading out to eat and going bowling with some friends for my very best friend's birthday. I haven't been in an exactly good mindset at all for a while, so this has potential to be disastrous... We will see how it pans out. I know I'm intent on trying and that's all I can do...

MammaMia 01-08-2010 01:06 AM

**** **** **** **** ****.

I have just made an incredibly bad night even worse. I sent a text, intended for my best friend, to my Dad's partner. Who like doesn't know of my past just yet (nor does my dad but intending to tell him). Oh ****, I'm half hoping she's fast asleep and/or has her phone off. Yet in a way, I want to deal with it now. Am really stressing myself out even more now. YOU ****ING IDOIT.

Kahlia1981 01-08-2010 07:05 AM

*huggles everybody*

Am incredibly tired.
It's 1557 (3:57 pm). Me and my housemate went to a friends 30th birthday celebratory drinks, well the start of it, at The Watermark - an expensive Restaurant/Bar - last night.

*/ Warning - talking about Dresses/Clothes - could trigger Womens/ED /*
When I got dressed I was umming and ahhing over what to wear because I'm always so self-conscious about my body/figure. Anyway I had my shower first and tried this dress on that I've never worn before because I've been afraid that it might be "clingy" or highlight bum/stomach and make me look like I'm either pregnant or this huge fat lump - you know the normal stuff. I put it on and asked my housemate his opinion and he said he looked good, but to be honest it actually felt good.
*/ End Warning /*

Anyway, while we were out and with everybody is the first time that I've been out with a group of people and haven't felt "fat".

Sorry about that. It's just really weird.

Mind you, both me and my housemate are incredibly tired today. We didn't get home until midnight and didn't really get out of bed until midday. We just don't really do late nights much, so we don't have much of a resistance to them. *shrugs*

*leaves hugs and safe love and care packages for everyone on the table*

Hels: So proud of you for making your 11 months OD free honey. *squishes*

Doikers 01-08-2010 10:29 AM

*Hugs April* I read your R/V thread .

*Hugs Helen* I hope you can sort out your texting thing:S

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm happy you felt good in your dress :)

MammaMia 01-08-2010 11:05 AM

Kahlia, sounds like you had a good night yaaay and thank you for the congratulations =)

Mark, heh me too, no reply so far, I think she's working today...

FlyingNy 01-08-2010 11:09 AM

Hey everyone.

Helen- Would she be the type to keep it quiet if you asked her to? I know what you're feeling sort of. My best friend found my account on here, she came on with the intent of tracking me down and read things about my past I never wanted her to know. I flatly refuse to talk about any of it with her, she's not allowed to mention it and she knows that. I also refused to talk to her for some time because I felt she had betrayed me, but since it was you who sent the text, I doubt you're mad at her. Anyway, the point is I know that '****!' that goes through your head when you first realise someone knows something you never had any intention of telling them. Something you wanted no one to know, something they can hurt you so much with and it's horrible. I don't know if that's just me since I'm the sort of person who would be quiet happy to keep everything to myself for ever and ever. Anyway, rambling now. I'll stop typing. *Hugs*. Oh and well done on making 11 months!

Hey Mark! *Hugs* How are you this morning?

Kahlia, that's a really good step! Well done, I'm so glad you managed to have a nice night out and didn't feel 'fat'. I love hearing things like that, there's hope that people are recovering and although I didn't do anything, it makes me feel less helpless somehow. :)

Hey Felica, how was the night?

I'm sorry about the bit I left on here before I went away, not the bit about going away, the rest of it. I was just having a stupid moment. I'm OK. I can do this. Alone.

xx


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