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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 28-08-2010 06:20 AM

I'm so drained and over all of this.

Not saying a word all day is exhausting. I can't sleep either tho. Just another reason I am a pathetic, ugly, failure.

Ok, i'll shut up.. sorry. i'm being whiny and stupid.

jonikd 28-08-2010 07:28 AM

Pops in again and leaves hugs for everyone. Just touching base, and still useless but really appreciate the hugs and being jumped on and missed. Like really really xx

SoMuchMore 28-08-2010 07:30 AM

*hugs you again JK*

Kahlia1981 28-08-2010 09:10 AM

*glomps JK* - missed you.

*hugs Laura*

Sorry, just not keeping up at the moment ...

Doikers 28-08-2010 11:04 AM

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Helen* I hope you got up on time and enjoy yourself :)

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs JK*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Oliver* Have a nice time :)

*Hugs everyone I have forgotten*

nicole94 28-08-2010 11:55 AM

*hugs everyone and once again kicks herself for missing JK.*
*gives oliver evils but then hugs him to let him know im only messing* wish i was close enough to go to pride! i was supposed to be going to pride in reading on the 4th sept but have fallen out with the mate i was gonna go with so now i cant :(

Doikers 28-08-2010 12:29 PM

This puts a smile on my face :) Feeling rough so I watched it and thought I'd share .

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yDv2OpNHNs[/ame]

Doikers 28-08-2010 01:03 PM

Oh I almost forgot , I texted Hayley yesterday and got a reply from her this morning , she is back from her holiday and is currently moving into a new flat .She is not online in her new flat yet I think she said, the internet engineer comes out next week :)


Oh and I was reading the birthdays and *Happy Birthday Kaytee!!*

one_step_closer 28-08-2010 02:01 PM

Happy Birthday!

I am so, so triggered to overdose. I am tired of fighting this.

Doikers 28-08-2010 02:09 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I know its hard to fight it but please try . An Overdose could so easily go wrong :(

one_step_closer 28-08-2010 02:11 PM

I can't fight it any more. I've had enough. And I can't even go for help once i've done it because of my cats.

nicole94 28-08-2010 02:47 PM

*hugs lindsay* please please PLEASE try and stay safe hun. x
and happy birthday kaytee x

misskitty112 28-08-2010 04:07 PM

I weighed myself, gained weight, and cut.

I am so sick of being ugly, fat, worthless, and unlovable.

Doikers 28-08-2010 04:47 PM

Felicia , you are NONE of those things *Hugs ya*

misskitty112 28-08-2010 05:05 PM

Mark, thanks.
I just feel like I am all of those things.

I finished my Creative Writing assignment. I may post it on the creativity board, because it's definitely a potential contender for my huge, have to try to get published assignment at the end of the semester. And I want to make sure it doesn't suck, in case I just think it's good cause I'm proud for confronting my inner demons or something.

Scarletdreamer 28-08-2010 05:56 PM

*cuddles all*

Felicia, hon, you are not fat/ugly/useless/worthless/any of the bad things you tell yourself. I've been there/am there now and I know how much it sucks, but it is "just" a feelings thing. :( I'm sorry that you feel that way though... And I'd like to read your creative writing assignment - am very into writing to get feelings out and I hope that this assignment helped with that, although I'm sure it was very difficult!! It definitely sounded challenging. I don't know if I would've been (easily) able to do it.

Mark, how are you??

Hels, although you're probably off by now, I hope that you have a great time at your sister's. ^_^ Sorry for not wishing that earlier!! :-/

Kaytee, hello & welcome, I'm April. :) Oh and happy birthday!! ^_^

Lindsay, I hope you're managing to stay safe... :( And please go and get help if you need it, cats can be pretty self-reliant if they need to be. :( As close as humans get to their pets, please don't let them stop you from getting the help you may need. I understand the human-pet bond because I have a cat myself, but just make sure their food & water is filled and litterbox okay... and get help.

Umm, I'm really not doing well as we got some pretty high calorie food for a "treat" this morning and I'm gonna let it be my lunch... am having an internal freakout because I don't know how many calories are in my latte or were in the other few bites of food that I had... damn it, I hate eating disorders. I wish... oh, I don't know what I wish. :(

I had a nightmare last night about my appt with the nutritionist. Dreamt that she was my first pdoc (I've gone through about 7 in a year or so before getting in with my NP and sticking with her, since December 2006) but with blond hair. It was a really weird dream because my first pdoc was from India and... well, yeah. Nothing against those from India but imagining an Indian person with blond hair... weird. Especially an adult. Sorry, just a weird picture, because the nutritionist I will be seeing has blond hair. And is, well, not "old" (is there such a thing? :P) but is in her 50s by now I would imagine. Not sure though. But aaanyway...

I am pissed off too, because it feels like I can't write about my struggles with my ED in my LJ anymore because Jarrod refuses to read them, and also refuses to talk about them... it ****ing hurts and I've told him that, and he responded, with a sad smile, "That's one reason why I've told you that I need you to be better." :( So I feel really... sad, too, I guess. And pissed off. Hah. :'(

Sorry this got so freaking long... just have no one to talk with IRL right now. My bestie's moving today and didn't ask me to help, haven't had a proper talk with her since last Saturday (as in, a week ago).

*curls up and cries softly*

Doikers 28-08-2010 06:21 PM

*Hugs April* I've no one IRL to talk to tonight either :( I'm sorry you had a weird dream , it sounds very odd :S I read your LJ , I know its not the same as Jarrod though.

I'm spending tomorrow night at my parents , I really don't want to be around people BUT I did ring up and ask as a way to stop , or at least postpone my S.I. , I figure I can't harm at my parents . I'm practically harming daily again :( sorry .

Scarletdreamer 28-08-2010 06:39 PM

Aw Mark, I'm sorry about the SI and I'm sorry (as always) about you not having anyone IRL from whom you can get support. :( I'm glad that you read my LJ (just updated it btw... lol), but you're right, it's not the same. But don't get me wrong, I am glad that you read it. :) It does mean a lot to me that you do. *hugs* I hope that you can stay safe at your parents'... and I also hope that, if it's the best for you, your nurse finds an IP place for you to go for SI. I wish I/we could do more to help you to stop, and also others who still struggle with it. :( I don't have a magic solution although I've managed a bit without it. :-/ I guess I was just ready? I don't know. Although I did have urges when my parents and I fought last week. That was pretty bad. :-X But at least I didn't act on them. Heh. Anyway... keeping fighting. *extra hugs*

*cuddles everyone* <3

Doikers 28-08-2010 07:49 PM

I did muscle tenseing relaxation exercises , I had a (Sleepless) Nap with music on , I went for a walk, I squeezed an ice cube , I went for another walk , I spent time on RYL AND watched self harm supports video on youtube , I phoned my parents .

I did all that to distract my self and still I cut , I can't win :( *sigh*

FlyingNy 28-08-2010 07:58 PM

I need my wardies.

Why is nothing I do ever good enough? Why am I never good enough? Why can't I have just one thing that's mine without someone coming along and tearing it from me? I've had enough. I can't do this.


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