I think...I frightened everyone away :(

I'll be shushing nooowwwww

No you didnt hun *hugs you* Sorry about your family being like that with you. Yeah, Helen said her internet is broken atm. Hope everyone is alright x

Oh gooooood...
coz I like being here...
I dont wanna get kicked out :(

my family are STUPID....
my best mates boyfriend is STUPID...

HMPH :pinch:

Hey Alice, you're welcome here any time as long as you don't mind hanging out with us 'defects'.

Alexx, hunni, first, I think that whatever you figured out you probably should share with your doc... and I'm also sure none of us are any of 'them'(wow, that sounds a wee bit confusing)... we're all too messed up.
*snuggles you*

*hugs anyone that needs it*

I don't have anything tosay... I'm just... blank...
Got a counseling session tomorrow...hoping he doesn't ask me if I ODd or anything since last week (as I have, twice:pinch:)... and even though I knew I wasn't taking enough last nights was precedeed by the thought 'I'd kind of like to die'...

*makes a tea tray with cake, biscuts, coffee, tea, and cocoa and leaves it for people to enjoy*
*curls up in her corner with her blanket and stuffed lamb*
I am SO f**ked up :crying:

*hugs Ally* Sorry....Its as much comfort for me as it is for you...
hope you dont mind...
They are still about...*looks out for them*

Yuck...I was talking to a really good friend of mine before....
I thought she'd understand what I was going through...
she had a mental breakdown herself...
She told everyone she had a life threatening illness...
But her advice to me?
Stop letting it ruin your life and get a grip!
How can I get a grip?
None of this is even real...
It'd be like...catching smoke..
*sigh* I thought she'd understand....
I NEEDED her to understand...
I'm...having second thoughts about going to the doctors on Friday...

*sits down with duvet* Just need somewhere safe to go.feel free to ignore.x

ffs!!! alexx i just typed a really long reply to u, and it mysteriously disappeared! ****! in a nutshell - catching smoke - brilliant description. wat ally said about none of us being "them". go to your dr, take a deep breath, close your eyes and tell him all that you have figured out.

alice and liv - welcome.

i saw my counsellor today. she is buying me a pencil and paper cos apparently i need to start drawing to release my emotions. i cant draw anymore tho :(

i also cried a lot. so now i have a massive headache just in time for my chemistry lecture. yay.

I welllll thought you were annoyed at ME then....I got all panicky....but its not my fault...(points to my CURRENT mood....paranoid :pinch:)

Ahhh :/...
I hope I can explain to him..PROPERLY though...I have a bad habit of panicking and skimming over everything...making it seem Not-So-Bad...
when actually its AWFUL!!

*hugs for you because of your headache*
Dont worry...i cant draw either...
but sometimes...it really helps just to scribble on paper...
masses and masses of scribbles...
or stick people...
I draw them lots :)
it doesnt have to be a work of art sweety ^_^ *hugs again*

i SHOULD go to bed....its 4:14am....
and I MIGHT go shopping tomorrow...
seeing as I've had my Best mate stolen off me when I kinda need her ><
eek...

*leaves lots of hugs and hot drinks and warm blankets*
Night guys
xxxxxxx

night night. hope you sleep well x

*throws self into corner to try and sleep* - someone wake me please when no longer feel sick and dizzy with tired? About three days should be fine

Heeey guys.

Sorry for this disappearance, my net had bloody broken down and it's to do with the company's side *sobs*

So I won't be on here much more and boy am I struggling.. (see my thread if u wanna know!!!)

Oh God, I just found a bottle of diazepam in my dads medicine cabinet.

I want it. But he would know it was gone and that it was me. ****. Why do these ideas come to me?

I was observing a new show today about materials and there was this fictional planet made all out of rubber where apparently people are always happy and you can't hurt yourself. Then on the glass one some kid put their hand up and said it was a bad planet because the glass could break and you could cut yourself. I KNOW these are tiny trivial comments but I just felt like some how everyone knew and was trying to take the piss. Logically I know they weren't but the thought just won't go away, it's stupid.

What the hell? Seriously...why don't I think or see things normally? Why does a bottle of tablets make me want to take them. They aren't even mine FFS!

HELEN!!!
*Pounce*
Hiiiiii....Missed yooouuuu!!!

Awww Emma sweety...try stay strong yeh? I know its hard..but you're doing well!!
Please keep fighting?
*hugs*

Awww ****....My mum just saw my 'last' injury(so she thinks) and was asking all sorts and broke down and told her (nearly) everything...
about the hospital, meds, the doctors, the voice, CBT, psychiatrists, harming, the disattachment...

Gah!
i feel so shitty now :(
She wants to help...but she'll make it worse....

*hugs for everyone*

*hugs you Alexx, thanks hun* Is there no way you could give her a chance? There is always a chance she may be another source of support. Hope you are alright xx

hey Helen, hope you are alright hun. I know it's hard but like Alexx said you are doing soooo well. I wish you could see that. Stay strong x

*hugs everyone else that needs one* xxx

*hugs all those in need*

Emma, stay strong. You can fight these urges. I know it's difficult, but you can do it hun.

Alexx, as Emma said, give your mum a chance. She loves you and maybe she can help you. It's never easy when family find out about these things, but they can surprise us sometimes with their efforts to help.

I'm not doing so good either. Wish I could cut. I want it so much that I'm almost having to restrain myself from walking out the door and popping to the local shop in serach of some new blades. I miss it all soo much...

*hugs you Carole* Thanks hun. Sorry you are struggling at the moment.

Thanks hun *hugs*

Sadly too many of us are struggling

*offers warm drinks, biscuits and blankets round*

I cant give her a chance...
Last time she found out...
she went out..got drunk, rifled through ALL my things...hid ANYTHING sharp...
Tried making me strip down to my underwear so she could search for cuts and threatened to kick me out and stick me in a care home or "nut house"

So...my confidence in her...is kinda bruised...

*hugs Alexx*

I'm sorry to hear that. But it does show that she cares, at least try to appreciate that.

:/
i dont know how to handle her when shes overly nice though..
im used to her being horrible and abusive