I hope my meds come tomorrow too. Dunno what I'm going to do without them.

Lol Mark, about the Easter cards. :P Yeh I suppose a bit of mess is normal, but I am so freaking used to an OCD/anal family when it comes to cleaning... I am totally the black sheep when it comes to that, sadly... I'd love to be tidy and neat and have everything in its right & proper place but I just can't. :(

Screw up, April's a screw up... and not just about cleaning. About relationships too. Stupid me. Frustrating Jarrod. Guhhh. >_<

*rocks in a corner*

Thanks Mark and April, but it must be true. Why would they say it if it wasn't true? And they are right. I am dirty. And fat. They must have reason to say those things.

Know the feeling April, no matter how much you need to do something and know how much you will regret putting it off later, with the bug of the laziness nothing can make you. I'm exactly the same, try not to beat yourself up about it, it's just a part of who you are. Besides, it's no fun if there's no mad rush :)

How are you Mark?

xx

*sneaks back in and curls up*

I'm Numb Lia , I did S.I. once today but not too seriously , I've been numb 95% of the last month at least , *sigh* if I'm not numb I'm low , sometimes joy of joy I get both at the same time even though it thats not logical hmmmm. sorry I ranted.
I'm worried about you Lia a bit I don't think that you are giving yourself any credit for being such a caring person.

*Hugs Helen*

*cuddles Hels* How'd the meeting go, sweetie?

*hugs Lia* I agree with Mark (once again), love. You're not giving yourself the credit that you deserve, for being a kind, sweet, & caring person. But I suppose the same could be said for most if not all of us here. And to answer your question - "why would they say such things if they weren't true?" - because, as you've said so yourself, they're not very nice people. They don't "side" with you all the time... and bullies love picking other people apart, as it makes them feel bigger and stronger than they really are. When it's really WE who are stronger than they are. Anyway, sorry, ramble. :)

*cuddles Mark* I'm sorry you've been numb that much lately. That really sucks. :( But maybe you will start feeling better soon? can always hope, at least, right? And that wasn't a rant, at least not one as bad as I can get into sometimes!! lol. >_< I'm also glad that the SI wasn't too bad today.

Just got off WoW. Am really anxious right now, mostly about tomorrow & the apartment not being clean & "what will my parents think" (when they won't even BE here tomorrow >_< stupid me) & worrying about Jarrod & all sorts of other ****. Ugh... :'(

*glomps Felicia* :D

April , I HOPE that my Lithium blood results will come soon and that that particular drug can be increased , It'll be a week tomorow that the blood were taken so hopefully I'll hear about it soon .Prayers/ positive thoughts appreciated please. My AD's are already over the recommded doseage for being an AD hmmm. I slept , well semi-slept most of the afternoon and it's 10.40 pm here and I'm not even tired but I took a Diaz and am going to bed ,sleep well ward mates *Hugs April Goodnight*

Ergh, why so dirty? I'm not the person you two think I am, I'm dirty and I don't even know why. It's inside of me and that shower really hurt. I'm red and even bleeding (sorry if that's triggering) yet still no cleaner. I don't know how to get rid of the dirt or hy it's even there.

Sorry you're feeling so anxious April. I wish there was something I could do. Try not to get yourself down too much, it's not your fault, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. *Hugs* What's wrong with Jarrod?

*Hugs Mark* I'm sorry you feel that way, but well done on managing to resist cutting too badly. I know how tiering feeling numb all the time can get, ut I think I prefer it. When I have my 'ice queen' mask on, I don't have to feel.

xx

Bout anything in particular?*hugs*
*hugs Mark goodnight* sleep well.

D's beginning to see the light when it come to his mum. *small happy dance moment* *hopes october doesn't prove the statement false*

Sorry Luke only popped in briefly earlier... I dunno about the rights in your case so I'm of no help there, sorry. I'm glad they finally set an appt and that you have ADs even if it is a long way away or having side effects... *hugs*

I'm off for three weeks now. I might visit in the morning, but in case I don't get a chance, keep yourselves safe. I really do love you guys and don't want to come back to find anyone's done something incredibly stupid. Yes, that is a threat. Mwahaha! Anyway, I think Canada should actually be fun, I'm with the fam but we're visiting more fam who are actually nice to me.

Talk to you all soon.

Stay safe.

xx

Have fun, Lia!

*hugs everyone*

I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

*huggles everybody*

Am very very cold. It's probably only like 20C but I get cold easy.
Finished my assessment for TAFE and handed it in. Yay!
Organising myself, but things are moving so slowly . . .

*leaves hugs and safe love and care packages for all*

I hate my math teacher now. :( She freaked when I said I couldn't do my test today, made me sit with it in front of me for almost an hour even though I couldn't answer a single question, and then got even more pissed off when I said I would do it next week instead of on Thursday. And before I left, she demanded that I bring her a photocopy of my medical certificates for days I've missed from now on so that she can staple them to my work.

This is the second teacher to do something like this to me in the last week. I now have to go speak to my year level coordinator about it. What I really need is less stress, not more stress. ARGH!

*hugs everyone* sry there have been like 9 pages since i was on here last so I don't want to miss anyone in individuals.

Congrats to everyone who had milestones recently though!

Hope everyone is alright.

Awake even earlier than yesterday! I don't know what I'm doing up, there's no need to be until about 9.30.

Still, now that I'm here. Morning all.

x

3:30 AM
Can't sleep.

*Hugs Lia* Have fun in Canada ! I hope you can enjoy it somewhat :)

*Hugs Felicia* *Hands over camomille tea to help you sleep*

*Hugs Laura*How are you ?

*Hugs Jessica* that seems unreasonable of your maths teacher:S

*Hugs Kahlia* Well done on completeing your assignment.

*Hugs Luke*I hope that your AD's work somewhat :)

Thanks Mark. I hope it will give me time to clear my head. Lately, I seem to be very obsessed with being 'dirty' and I have no idea where it came from. It's kinda random, and I don't know why it's there, but I can't get rid of it.

xx